If Your Houseguest is a Vampire…
‘Tis the season for parties, friends, and fellowship. But what if your overnight houseguest is a vampire? Should you run? Offer him a bloody Mary or pan-fried blood sausages?
Entertaining an immortal can be a rewarding and enlightening experience if you follow a few helpful guidelines:
1. Prepare your home in advance
Rent a coffin and place it in the darkest room of your house. Pillows and 300-count linen will add a nice touch. Remove all decorative crucifixes, garlic pods, and holy water.
2. Make a “welcome” basket
Add toothpaste, toothbrush, SPF 100 sun block, and a sampler of blood (use test tubes and seal with corks).
3. Provide Background Music
Marilyn Manson’s “If I was Your Vampire”
The Smashing Pumpkin’s “We Only Come Out at Night”
ZZ Top’s “She’s Just Killing Me”
Joan Osborne’s “Dracula Moon”
Anything by Nine Inch Nails and Cradle of Filth
4. Play Ice-breaking Board Games
The Game of Life, 50th Anniversary Edition
Till Death Do Us Part
5. Serve Hematoma Martinis
Mix 1 oz vodka, ½ oz orange-flavored liqueur, and 3 oz type O blood. Mix. Serve at room temperature.
6. Finally, kiss your vampire with your lips closed.
Thanks for the tips Piper! I am sure Katie is off to buy the game Fangopoly I know I am too!
Berkley Books is offering a copy of Acquainted With The Night to one commenter. US Residents can pick a hard copy or e-copy, International residents can have an e-copy.
1. Tell us what vampire you would like to invite over for the night?
2. Leave a way to contact you
*double entry for followers (let us know you are one!)