'Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn- Part 1' Sheep Review

Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn- Part 1, directed by Bill Condon, stars Robert Pattinson, Kristen Stewart, Taylor Lautner, Ashley Greene, Kellan Lutz, Nikki Reed, Jackson Rathbone and Anna Kendrick. Grab your bag of blood and get ready to continue the epic saga of Twilight. Haters beware I'm a reviewer, vamp lover and Rob obsessed woman BUT I'll try in the name of Science (sure why not) to give this the most honest and neutral review I can. The fun begins now! ***Caution may contain spoilers***

Plot:

In The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 1, Bella and Edward, plus those they love, must deal with the chain of consequences brought on by a marriage, honeymoon, and the tumultuous birth of a child...which brings an unforeseen and shocking development for Jacob Black. The project, based on the fourth novel in author Stephenie Meyer's "Twilight" series, illuminates the secrets and mysteries of this spellbinding romantic epic that has entranced millions.

It's time to get hitched, vamp style! Alice pulls all the stops getting Bella (Kristen Stewart) ready for her big day. With the feel of Shakespeare's A Midsummer Night's Dream Bella takes her vows and marries Edward Cullen (Robert "my dream boat" Pattinson) surrounded by close family and friends. Some major changes were made in the dialog from book to movie and some new bits are added both for the good and bad. SPOILER. Bella's mom making comments about a family hair comb heirloom she can pass down to her daughter, and Charlie making comments about Bella's mom being old. SPOILER END. While one's a funny playful bit of banter the other is some definite foreshadowing of things to come. I did like that an added scene of guests making toasts to Bella congratulating her was both funny and endearing. Emmet's was by far the best.

Then it's off to the honeymoon where the two will finally do the "brown chicken brown cow" and get this party started! Beds are breaking and babies are making without anyone knowing what to do and where to go next. Some pretty cheesy CGI happens while the two love birds make out in the ocean, which is a big part of the story. With a budget this big you'd think we'd get a nicer quality of effects but I guess not. Summit likes to make the green.

Bella's feeling backed against the wall and turns to the one person who she thinks will take her side, Rosalie. And while the movie doesn't tell viewers why Bella does this the book goes into great detail about it. Rose of course wants to be the baby momma should anything happen to Bella during the pregnancy. But again folks who've not read the books won't know this. Thus a lack of connection from book to movie.

Jacob's forced to leave the pack or kill his best friend and someone he truly cares deeply for. Not much of an option. While I love watching the actor who plays Seth, he's cute and a perfect fit for the lovable little wolf, I felt he didn't get enough screen time. A lot happens with Seth, his sister and Bella. Seth is a big part of Breaking Dawn pre-baby and him not getting his due was a bit disappointing.

As the baby's coming closer Bella's getting sicker and the one thing Kristen did solidly was portray a very sick and ailing woman who would die for the child inside her. As a mother I get it 100% but the younger crowds probably won't. SPOILER. Just like the birthing scenes which turn into a blood bath, kids have no idea about any of this so in this way the movie tailors more toward the older crowd. END SPOILER. And I hope if for nothing else this series detours the young kids from jumping into an early situation...but back to the review. Now I swear I saw a little boob shot with some nipple action from Kristen but maybe it was a camera trick, it's only a few seconds but Isle Esme sure gets hot! SPOILER. You will also notice that whole time they are on the island Edward only sparkles once. All that Rio sunshine and they only added that one time. Summit's slipping. END SPOILER.

If you're not into the books or the series as a whole then don't waste your time on the film. The movies are for those of us that loved the books and want to see this dramatic story come alive on the big screen. For all its faults there's an amazing story of unconditional love, friendship, caring and reaching beyond yourself to find what strengths you hold. Again, a good message to the YA crowd: wait for the right guy, get married THEN have a baby. That's the clear message here dolled up in a sparkly bow and fed to us through blood, fur and chiseled abs.

If you enjoyed the books and could care less about sparkles and growls then you'll enjoy the latest edition to the franchise. Stay in your seat till the end after the credits roll you can check out a few extra minutes of footage. PS the movie ends right where it should, anything less would have done an injustice to the saga.

Getting 3 and 1/2 feather Sheep

KD

Sheep Movie Review: Immortals directed by Tarsem Singh

Immortals, directed by Tarsem Singh, stars Henry Cavill, Mickey Rourke, Luke Evans, Stephen Dorff, Freida Pinto and Kellan Lutz. If you've seen 300 you'll know what to expect with Immortals: a bloody, action-packed, high octane popcorn flick.

Plot:

The brutal and bloodthirsty King Hyperion (Mickey Rourke) and his murderous Heraklion army are rampaging across Greece in search of the long lost Bow of Epirus. With the invincible Bow, the king will be able to overthrow the Gods of Olympus and become the undisputed master of his world. With ruthless efficiency, Hyperion and his legions destroy everything in their wake, and it seems nothing will stop the evil king's mission. As village after village is obliterated, a stonemason named Theseus (Henry Cavill) vows to avenge the death of his mother in one of Hyperion's raids. When Theseus meets the Sybelline Oracle, Phaedra (Freida Pinto), her disturbing visions of the young man's future convince her that he is the key to stopping the destruction. With her help, Theseus assembles a small band of followers and embraces his destiny in a final desperate battle for the future of humanity.

I'm going to start with the negatives in my review. I personally felt that so much CGI was used in this film it was more like watching a long video game instead of a movie. At the same time the effects left quite a bit to be desired; most of the movie takes place in barren landscapes containing no vegetation. It's a wonder these folks had any food to eat at all, unless they survive on dirt and rocks. The plot itself just lacked the ability to get the audience emotionally invested. The script gives the film an overall hollow feeling when audiences are supposed to feel invested in the main characters struggles and triumphs. There were also a couple of things that strained my belief. Frida's character is supposed to be a virgin oracle (please tell me why they always have to be virgins?) and while the men are running around filthy she's always runway gorgeous with perfect clothing. It's just totally unrealistic for the type of journey out in the sticks upon which these folks are supposedly going. Either way director Singh is a talented visual artist but where his career will end up taking him is yet to be seen.

The positives, shirtless men! Whips and chains may excite me but flaming whips? Not so much. Yes, indeed you get a nice range of hottie totties walking around without shirts but frankly a few more could have been added to the movie. Never enough eye candy. Henry does some amazing stunt work which is undeniably incredible, and there's plenty of hard hitting action with Luke and Mickey bringing up the rear. I wasn't too impressed with Luke in the recent Three Musketeers remake but his acting as the Greek God Zeus brought him back into high standings in my book. Bloody battles are waged between men and gods which help to keep the audiences entertained where the script left holes. Mickey Rourke brings the BAD as our main evil overlord adding some well earned "ewww's" you wont want to miss. Really, you can't help but hate the creepy guy which earns him a big 'shirts off salute' for superb delivery of the character.

Henry and Mickey get the stand out awards for their roles in Immortals. It's a puffed up movie but sure to entertain those looking for a mindless fun popcorn flick.

Getting 3 "butting kicking Athena" Sheep

KD