There is a dark side to writing. Most authors suffer in
silence in front of their computer screens.
I am talking about A.M.S. (Author Melt-Down Syndrome)
You are not alone and there is help.
Signs you or someone you love might be having a melt-down
Crying – this is the number one symptom of author
melt-down. It usually happens in front of their computer, but can happen
anywhere at any time. Next time you are at the grocery store and see someone
bawling in the bakery section while holding a 12 count of cupcakes, pat them on
the back and sing Soft Kitty to them
Head banging – this also happens most often in the
privacy of their home, but if you see someone doing this in public don’t make
eye contact.
Eye twitch – can last for days or until enough chocolate
or alcohol has been consumed.
Fits of hysterical laughter – this is usually happens when
crying hasn’t helped. If you see an author doing this in public RUN!
Constantly online – this is a form of avoidance. They
foolishly hope the problem will magically go away, but it won’t. Tell them how
much you love their writing and send them funny memes or cute animal pictures.
Melt-down Scale
1 (need a hug) – 10
(need bail)
Author melt-down
kit
1. Chocolate
2. Mythical beast to cuddle
3. A mirror with the words "I'm an author, and
people like me" on it.
4. Tissue
5. Paper bag (for hyperventilation)
6. Coffee
7. ID card with emergency numbers/info in case you are
found wandering the streets in a daze
8. Pain reliever
9. Small bottle of whisky*
10. Stress relieving items
11. Warning label
12. Post-its
13. Chill pills
14. Disguise (in case you have a meltdown in public)
15. Tiara (because you are a freaking princess!)
16. Magic wand (worth a shot)
17. Freshening up items
*empty bottle
