SAGE: Looks around cautiously before sitting down. “Thanks for having me here at I Smell Sheep. My name is Sage Cynwrig, and I’m super excited to finally have a chance to speak without the Grand High Poohbah looking over my shoulder.”
GREY: Sneaks up behind Sage. “Don’t let Ava hear you say that. Or wait, please do. I’d love to see her string your newbie-ass up.”
SAGE: “First off… Rude! And second, I might be new but I’m not stupid enough to talk crap about her. I was referring to our author.”
GREY: “Do you have any girlfriends?”
SAGE: “What is that supposed to mean?”
GREY: “Just an observation. You don’t seem to get along with women.”
SAGE: “Says the man who has no friends what so ever.”
GREY: *shrugs* “Liabilities.”
SAGE: “What are you doing here anyway? This is supposed to be my show.”
GREY: “Do we really need to revisit the incident with the vampire?”
SAGE: “You mean the vampire you sent to kill me?”
GREY: “I was referring to the one you invited into your apartment!”
SAGE: “One in the same there, buddy. Do me a favor, you’re killing my screen time here, just sit there and look pretty. Let me finish my interview.”
GREY: Adjusts his fedora and winks. “Every time I let you out of my sight you find some new and creative way to get yourself killed. I really don’t want to have to deal with that paperwork. Go ahead, continue this idiocy.”
SAGE: “Back to what I was saying.”
GREY: “Which was?”
SAGE: “One more word and I knock that stupid hat off your stupid head.”
GREY: “You said you liked my hat.”
SAGE: “You said you’d be quiet.”
GREY: “Never actually spoke those words.”
SAGE: “Okay just ignore him or we’ll never get to today’s topic. Which is evil authors. Seriously. My author must work for Disney or something. What is the first thing she does? Kill off my mom. Page-freaking-one. Before you all could see how absolutely bad-ass she was, Mrs. Evil Author just offs her. Off screen no less. I didn’t even get the chance to say goodbye.”
GREY: “Complain, complain, complain. You see what I have to put up with all day?”
SAGE: “Says the man who ended her existence.”
GREY: “Your mom was gone long before I dispatched the thing that reanimated her body. And if I hadn’t removed her head when I did, you’d have lost your own. I believe the words you’re looking for are, thank you Grey, for single-handedly saving my life.”
SAGE: “When did your parent die again? How many hundreds of years ago? Give me a break here the wounds are still fresh.”
GREY: “Your mother died in service to A.S.S.E.T. She was revered as one of the best among our kind. Honor her memory by serving the agency in the same fashion and her legacy will live on through you.”
SAGE: “Are you reading from a card?”
GREY: *Shrugs* “I could just tattoo it to your forehead, as many times as I’ve had to say it to you.”
SAGE: “Touché.”
GREY: Tips his hat.
SAGE: “But, I stand by what I said. Our author is evil. She not only kills my mom off, but doesn’t even tell me about my family’s legacy. I mean, c’mon at least give a girl a heads up before throwing vampires, trolls, and ogres at her.”
GREY: “I thought you liked Devon.”
SAGE: “He’s the best personal trainer money can buy. Seriously. PX90 has nothing on an ogre’s workouts. But what I mean is, don’t leave your MC in the dark. Help a girl out. If our author had given me even the slightest clue of what our family is, I’d have freaked out less.”
GREY: “It’s our way.”
SAGE: “It’s our way because our evil author wrote us that way. She could have written us differently, and let our family tell us about the magical world and how we fit within it.”
GREY: “Leave it to you to find the negative in having a magical legacy. If your mom had not been killed.”
SAGE: “Murdered.”
GREY: “Fine. If she had not been murdered, you’d have never known about magic. Our connection to the magical realm is only activated when one of our kind die. You’d have lived an entirely human life, had kids, a dog, whatever, and never known about magic if your mother had lived on.”
SAGE: “Plot hole! How would my mom have lived on as an immortal without me noticing?”
GREY: “You don’t read the manuals do you? ASSET Agent contract, addendum 57 article C. Agents with living relatives must surrender their identity, fake their death for the layman, when it no longer becomes believable for their service to continue in their active duty station.”
SAGE: “I may have missed that section. I didn’t really get a good chance to look at the contract. You guys rushed me through processing and all. But I will.”
GREY: “Life is not fair. Our author isn’t going to be either. Be glad you got a starring role in her books.”
SAGE: “Kiss ass.”
GREY: “I know how to play the game, and keep myself from being killed off.”
SAGE: “Says the man who hates games.”
GREY: “The games you play, yes. Pretending to cast spells and kill dragons. You live this shit every day at work. Why in the Mother’s name would you want to play it with a bunch of humans?”
SAGE: “Because in that world, I can actually cast spells.”
GREY: “Negatron strikes again.”
SAGE: “Did Grey Maddox just make a joke?”
GREY: “I’ll try not to let it go to my head.”
SAGE: “Good because your dad-jokes aren’t that funny.”
GREY: “Can we get back to work now? This is taking forever.”
SAGE: “I still stand behind my point. My author… our author is evil. She purposefully puts us in positions to fail. She kills off people we love without giving us a chance to say goodbye.”
GREY: “This is me playing the saddest tune on world’s smallest violin.”
SAGE: “And she writes me a partner who has the emotional depth of a puddle evaporating in the desert heat.”
GREY: “Hold on. I think I hear the waaaaaambulence.”
SAGE: “I’ll leave it to you guys. Read the Agents of ASSET series, A Weapon of Magical Destruction and A Taste of Your Own Magic. You’ll see. Katie Salidas is the evilest of all authors. Even now she is penning our next massive FUBAR assignment Magic in Disguise. The levels of her cruelty know no bounds.”
GREY: “Are you finished?”
by Katie Salidas
July 17, 2018
Genre: Urban Fantasy – humorous
Publisher: Rising Sign Books
ISBN: 9781732101449
ASIN: B07CVWGJ8Q
Number of pages: 306
Word Count: 78k
Cover Artist: Molly Phipps
We Got You Covered.
Everything You Know about Magic is Wrong!
Just when newly minted ASSET agent Sage Cynwrig thought she was getting the hang of this whole magic thing, a smooth-talking Djinn moves in next door. And he's got more on his mind than making her wishes come true.
He'll have to take a number. Between her sharp-tongued, machete wielding partner Grey, and Zack the flirtatious vampire-for-hire, Sage has enough magical men making her life hell.
And then there's the new job. It's all hands on deck at ASSET. Magical creatures are disappearing from the Las Vegas Strip. Rumor has it, the missing creatures are ingredients in a forbidden magical recipe. Someone's attempting to recreate the lost Amulet of Emmuri, and gain power to rival the gods.
Because of course Sage's first official assignment as an agent would require her to, you know, save the world!
To accomplish that, however, she'll have to cross enemy lines and break the very magical laws she just swore to uphold.
Excerpt:
A Taste of Your Own Magic
Sample Chapter 1
Zack launched himself forward with impossible speed, closing the gap between them before she could register the movement. His hand found her mouth, preventing her shocked gasp from escaping. Zack stood nose-to-nose with her, so close she could feel the heat from his breath. “Sweet girl. So naïve to the dangers surrounding you; innocent to the true nature of the world.” His eyes grew darker, choking out all of the color that gave them their unnatural beauty. All predator, ready to strike, he pinned her against the apartment door. “Words lose their meaning with creatures like you. Headstrong. Impulsive... The only thing you learn from is failure.” The timbre of his voice deepened; his breathing slowed to a determined rhythm of raw desire. “A tempting target, giftwrapped for anyone willing to snatch you up.”
Zack let his hand fall from her mouth but kept her pinned to the door with his body. Close as he was, his eyes weren’t the only thing Sage focused on.
Those teeth.
Sharp as daggers. She’d experienced the sting of a vampire’s fangs once before, and that memory made her scars itch. “You’re acting like a real jerk right now, Zack.”
“I know.” He flashed those teeth at her again. “And don’t think I can’t hear how excited it makes you. Admit it. You’re more than a little turned on right now.”
A knot formed in her throat. She swallowed hard, forcing it down so she could speak. “Excited is not the word I would have chosen.” Her voice cracked, betraying the panic she was so desperate to hide. This wasn’t the Zack she knew; he’d morphed into something dangerous, and she couldn’t tell how real his threats were.
“Pick a word then,” he taunted. “Make it a good one.”
“Stop.” She pushed against him, but found his body an immovable wall. “You’re creeping me out.”
“Fear, is it?” Zack laughed coldly. “Good. You should be afraid. Most don’t survive being bitten.” His breath blew against her skin, surprisingly warm, but the effect chilled her blood.
“The last one who bit me didn’t survive.” She attempted again to mask the tremble of her voice with the threat.
“Grey, your great protector, was there to save the day. Where is he now?” Zack’s words struck her like a slap to the face, but before she could respond, he bent his head to the crook of her neck.
She cringed, expecting pain that did not come.
“I could have you right now.” Zack’s lips hovered, tantalizingly close to her throbbing pulse. He inhaled slowly as if savoring every note of her scent. “But the real question is, could you” – He lifted his head and met her eyes once more – “would you try and stop me?”
Zack’s words implied so much more than a simple threat. …. She couldn’t let that happen. But, being pinned against the door severely limited her options. Sage scrambled for the right words to stall long enough to find a way out. “I thought Terras were an acquired taste?” She reached down, toward her pocket.
Before she could dig for the knife she kept folded there, his knee came up, forcing her legs apart, and he growled possessively in her ear.
“One taste of you was such a tease. I need more.”
More than just a bad boy, Zack was pure sin wrapped in a taut body with maybe centuries of experience. A very small part of her, welcomed the excitement, but self-preservation trumped desire. “Get used to disappointment!”
He nuzzled her neck and pecked a kiss at her racing pulse. “Don’t pretend you aren’t thinking about it. I can smell your arousal. I can see the way you look at me.”
Her legs nearly went out from under her.
“You’re going to get yourself killed. I would be disappointed if someone else got to the prize before me.” Zack pulled back enough to meet her eyes again. “Rather than fall victim to the wrong sort,” he whispered, “let me have you.”
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About the Author:
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Katie Salidas is a best-selling author known for her unique genre-blending style.
Host of the Indie YouTube Talk show, Spilling Ink, nerd, Doctor Who fangirl, Las Vegas Native, and SuperMom to three awesome kids, Katie gives new meaning to the term sleep-deprived.
Since 2010 she’s penned four bestselling book series: the Immortalis, Olde Town Pack, Little Werewolf, and the RONE award-winning Chronicles of the Uprising. And as her not-so-secret alter ego, Rozlyn Sparks, she is a USA Today bestselling author of romance with a naughty side.
