GtPGKogPYT4p61R1biicqBXsUzo" /> Google+ I Smell Sheep

Friday, October 31, 2014

Interview: Jay Kristoff's Endsinger (The Lotus War #3) blog tour + giveaway

Today we have Jay Kristoff visiting the Flock. He is from the land of Oz and refers to him self as the "nerdmastah" The last book in his Lotus War Trilogy is coming out soon. We talk about it a little, but then move on to the more interesting stuff like his secret kung-fu assassin wife...good times people, good times.

Welcome to I Smell Sheep! You will be happy to know I have no idea who David Grohl is. (Jay is often told he looks like Grohl)
Jay: That makes me feel very old. 
Sharon: nope, you shouldn’t feel old, I should feel dumb. Foo Fighters *facepalm* I’m the same age as he is <G> and yeah, you look like him…
Jay: That just makes us both old. <G>
Sharon: For readers who aren’t familiar with your series would you tell us a bit about The Lotus War trilogy?
Jay: Chainsaw katanas, telepathic samurai girls, and griffons! That pretty much sums it up in a nutshell J

But the books are basically about one girl’s friendship with a mythical creature called a thunder tiger (they’re kinda like griffons), and their efforts to overthrow the despotic government bringing ruin to their homeland. There’s shades of steampunk and epic fantasy in there.
Sharon: you had me at Chainsaw katanas! Actually you had me at chainsaws, but that’s another story…
Jay: *backs away slooooowly*
Sharon: *twitch, twitch*

Sharon: There are steampunk elements to the series. Is there a steampunk contraption in your books you would love to own in real life?
Jay: There’s an enormous mechanical construct called the Earthcrusher. It’s kinda like a huge spider-thing with chainsaws for arms. The ground shakes where it walks. Entire cities flee in fear at its approach. I could think of a few uses for something like that. It’d make driving in peak hour easier, for starters.
Sharon: heehee, I like the way you think…tell me you have offspring to pass this sort of thinking down too.
Jay: Nooooo, I’m an infant myself, I have no business raising another one.

Sharon: You state you are a nerd…prove it. What is the nerdiest thing you own?
Jay: Oh, wow. Hard call. Maybe my hardback set of black leather-bound Dungeons & Dragons 3.5 edition rulebooks?

I named my dog Samwise, dude. I am the nerdmastah.
Sharon: you named your dog Samwise? That is pretty nerdy, but you might have to turn in your man card for that one <G>
Jay: He’s a Jack Russell, too. :P

Sharon: Why did you pick a 16 year old female as your protagonist? I will also note there is a new series coming out next year you are co-writing with Amie Kaufman, also has a young female protag. Do you have an inner teenage girl you can tap into?
Jay: I’m not really sure why I write so many female protagonists, to be honest. I guess I find the perspective a little more interesting and a little more challenging? There’s nothing scientific about it – an idea for a character will creep into my head, be it a boy or a girl, and if they take my fancy, I’ll start writing about them. It would feel a little odd to change the character’s sex just because I might find it easier to write a male. If writing is easy, you’re doing it wrong. And unless you’re writing a biography, you’re always channeling someone who’s not YOU.

In the ILLUMINAE series you mentioned (the one I’m writing with Amie K) she writes the girl protagonist and I write the boy. Which is a nice change. Although in my next solo fantasy series (which I just sold to my editor, so yay, more books from me) the protagonist is also female. 

(shrug) I just go where the characters tell me J

Sharon: You worked in the advertising industry (yes, I stalked your bio) for a while. Got any funny stories about failed ad ideas or clients?
Jay: Failed ads stories are normally quite sad. You put a lot of thought into your ideas, only to see them get shot down, usually for no reason better than “hmmm, no I just don’t like it”. That’s kinda why I got out and started writing books. When you’re an author, your ideas don’t get canned because the client is in the middle of a messy divorce and came to the presentation in a bad mood.

But . . . funny. Hmmm. Ok, one time I spent close to a million bucks on what was essentially one big penis joke. True story :P
Sharon: moving on! <G>

Sharon: What’s it like living with a secret agent kung-fu assassin wife? Does she let you play with her secret agent gadgets?
Jay: No. She keeps her gadgets far out of reach. She’s kinda mean like that. But she wouldn’t be a kung-fu assassin if she was all sunshine and lollipops.

Sharon: If you could own any piece of art in the world what would it be?
Jay: The Card Players by Paul C Cézanne. Apparently that’s the most expensive painting in the world. I just googled it.
Sharon: must be a hell of a card game…
Jay: Art. Pfft. I dunno.

Sharon: What is your Precsssssssiousss?
Jay: Probably my CD collection. I know, right? Who the hell buys CDs nowadays . . .

Now I feel REALLY old . . .

Rapid Fire:
Sharon: Break a foot or break a hand?
Jay: Foot. Can’t write without hands!

Sharon: apples or oranges?
JayOranges. In juice form pls. With Vodka.
Sharon: and a dash of peach schnapps! Fuzzy Navels for everyone!! (I had to google how to spell schnapps, true story)

Sharon: Bigfoot or Sasquatch?
JayAre they not the same thing? 0_o *googles* Wow. You learn something every day.

Sharon: roller coaster or carousel?
JayRoller Coasterrrrrrrrrrrrr

Sharon: lost at sea or lost in the dessert?
JayEither way, I’d die. So I’ll take the burial at sea. Sounds more epic.

Sharon: Coke or Pepsi?
Jay: What is this Pepsi of which you speak?
Sharon: I’m sorry Jay, this interview is over and you must now meet our dragon…
*empty Coke can hits Sharon in the head* 
Sorry, Katie says we have to go on…mumble, mumble…traitor…mumble

Sharon: Twilight Zone or Tales from the Crypt?
JayWe never had TftC in Oz when I was a kid. TZ wins by default!
Sharon: what is this Oz of which you speak?! Okay, that was childish :P 
Jay: Ouch, burn. J

Sharon: Thanks for visiting. And sorry about wanting to feed you to the dragon, I just get emotional sometimes. No hard feelings?
Jay: Never! Thanks for having me :D

Endsinger (The Lotus War #3)
by Jay Kristoff
Kindle Edition, 464 pages
November 25th 2014 by Thomas Dunne Books
A TREMBLING EARTH
The flames of civil war sweep across the Shima Imperium. With their plans to renew the Kazumitsu dynasty foiled, the Lotus Guild unleash their deadliest creation—a mechanical goliath known as the Earthcrusher, intended to unite the shattered Empire under a yoke of fear. With the Tiger Clan and their puppet Daimyo Hiro in tow, the Guild marches toward a battle for absolute dominion over the Isles.

A BROKEN REBELLION
Yukiko and Buruu are forced to take leadership of the Kagé rebellion, gathering new allies and old friends in an effort to unite the country against the chi-mongers. But the ghosts of Buruu’s past stand between them and the army they need, and Kin’s betrayal has destroyed all trust among their allies. When a new foe joins the war tearing the Imperium apart, it will be all the pair can do to muster the strength to fight, let alone win.

A FINAL BATTLE
The traitor Kin walks the halls of Guild power, his destiny only a bloody knife-stroke away. Hana and Yoshi struggle to find their place in a world now looking to them as heroes. Secret cabals within the Lotus Guild claw and struggle; one toward darkness, the other toward light. And as the earth splits asunder, as armies destroy each other for rule over an empire of lifeless ash and the final secret about blood lotus is revealed, the people of Shima will learn one last, horrifying truth.

There is nothing a mother won't do to keep her children by her side.

Nothing.


About the Author:
Jay Kristoff is a tragic nerd, but has spent the last ten years dumping expeez into his Intimidation stat, and now nobody is brave enough to say it to his face. He grew up in the second most isolated capital city on earth and fled at his earliest convenience, although he’s been known to trek back for weddings of the particularly nice and funerals of the particularly wealthy. Being the holder of an Arts degree, he has no education to speak of.

Jay's first trilogy, THE LOTUS WAR, is set to be published in over a dozen countries. The first installment STORMDANCER, was critically acclaimed and shortlisted for several SF/F awards, and the Lotus War novella THE LAST STORMDANCER won the 2014 Aurelais Award for Best Fantasy Short Fiction. The third book, ENDSINGER, is out in November 2014. Jay’s new series, the SciFi thriller ILLUMINAE, which he co-authored with Amie Kaufman, is due for publication by Random House in 2015. He is as surprised about it as you are. He is represented by Matt Bialer at Sanford J Greenburger Associates.

Jay is 6’7" and has approximately 13264 days to live. He abides in Melbourne with his secret agent kung-fu assassin wife, and the world’s laziest Jack Russell.

He has a sweet beard.
He does not believe in happy endings.

GIVEAWAY

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Happy Halloween from I Smell Sheep and Ramotaur

I just realized we didn't  plan a Happy Halloween from I Smell Sheep post! And we have set the bar so high in the past I am sure you guys are expecting something pretty darn earth shattering from us. Well, how about something earth shattering last year? Here is the Baaart costume memory game. You have to click the link to play.


Now for something creepy, it is Halloween after all...


Meet "Ramotaur" ("Ramo" for short) he is part of the ad campaign for the Icebreaker brand out of New Zealand. A company that makes animal-friendly athletic apparel from the wool of merino sheep in the Southern Alps. Icebreaker is famous not only for their clothing, but for their disturbing ads. 

I give you Ramotaur!

 
 
 



Sophisticated sheep is not amused...
http://imgur.com/gallery/Ukmby

Cover Reveal: Angel Bait by Tricia Skinner + Giveaway

Today is the big day! The prequel installment in Tricia Skinner's ANGEL ASSASSINS series is being re-released into the wild, and will be available on Kindle at the discounted price of $0.99 for a limited time (exclusive to Amazon for 90 days). Please note that if you own the old ebook, you can upgrade for free!

And now, without further ado, feast your eyes on ANGEL BAIT:

Angel-Bait-800 Cover reveal and Promotional
Author's Website | Amazon | GoodReads

He's not that kind of angel.

Jarrid is a “Bound One”: half angel, half human, trained from childhood to enforce Heaven’s laws on earth. An assassin with no remorse. And no choice. When he discovers an ancient ritual called Ascension, which might give him a shot at freedom, he can’t resist his lifelong dream. He only needs to find one last Renegade angel and take him down…using a certain woman to flush the angel out of hiding.

She's not what he's expecting.

News reporter Ionie Gifford has no clue an outlaw angel wants her dead, much less why, but she does know one thing: the enigmatic Jarrid, with his penetrating silver eyes and his worship-worthy body, is her ticket to the city's supernatural underworld, where she might finally be able to locate her mother's killer. For that kind of information, she's willing to risk everything...

They can't be together -- but can't keep apart...

Blindsided by Ionie's beauty and tenacity, Jarrid finds the millennia-old glacier around his heart melting. But when he's faced with a choice, will he sacrifice Ionie for freedom from his brutal servitude—or agree to be bound for eternity, to protect the life of the woman he's falling in love with?

From novelist Tricia Skinner comes a story that will have fans of action-packed love stories applauding. Seamlessly combining elements of paranormal romance and gritty urban fantasy, the Angel Assassins series is a heart-pounding spin on angel mythology.

Angel Assassins Series
Angel BaitAngel Kin
Angel Lover
Fall 2014

About the Author:
TriciaSkinner.com|Facebook|Twitter
GoodReads | Amazon | Google+ | Pinterest | Blog


I’m Tricia Skinner and I write Romantic Urban Fantasy. I’m a former journalist who discovered my inspiration to write fiction as an escape from “real life.” My reading tastes are all over the place, but I’m mainly drawn to fantasy (and its subgenres), paranormal, sci-fi, and history.

When I’m not writing, I’m a newbie “green” practitioner, strength training fan, and a technology geek. I’m a mother and a wife. My family includes two Great Danes. I’m also a gamer. I enjoy interacting with my fellow geeks and helping other writers. I’m represented by Laurie McLean of Fuse Literary. *Photo by Kauwuane Burton.


Giveaway

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Brought to you by:
Rabid PR

Thursday, October 30, 2014

Winning Entry of Gregory L. Hall's Romance Mad-Lib

Winner of the Romance Mad-Lib (original post), hand picked by Gregory L. Hall...
Denise Z!
Congrats to Denise. Here is her winning entry...

SEXY DON’T NEED A HEAD
(Story of a Romance Novel Model)
By Gregory L. Hall

Cindy always thought of herself as a strong, independent and (feisty) woman. Sure, she may not be as (skinny) as she was in her college years, but now at thirty, no man could deny her sassy attitude and (buxom beauty). Moving to (Flavorville City) was a major decision but she was never one to shy away from a (good buffet).

On her first day she immediately sought out expensive shoe stores. Because ladies love shoes like a crack addict loves (a fever blister pack). She found a place called Orange Is the New (Forage). And inside she found the most gorgeous (hot-diggity) (beefcake-a-licious) shoe salesman EVER. The second she stared into his (heat filled eyes) she was lost in steamy fantasy.

“Hello. My name is Derek. How can I serve you today?” his deep velvety voice said.

“Hi! I’m Cindy. I’d love to put my (um feet) in your (shoes).”

He flashed a grin that made her heart (quake). “I think I can help you with that. From a quick glance I’m guessing the size of your (big toe) is rather petite.”

Derek guided Cindy to a nearby chair and sat her down. He knelt before her, gently cupped the back of her calf and stretched her leg out until it almost touched his (manly pecs). Something about him was familiar. She knew him. But how could that be? She had just moved to the city, as was mentioned in the first paragraph if you were paying attention.

Her leg slipped from his grasp and her toes caught his partially unbuttoned shirt, tearing it all the way open. He stood up and backed away, giving her full view of his (well tanned) chest and (chiseled) six-pack abs.

“How embarrassing! I’m almost shirtless. Although this is completely random and accidental, you must be so offended!”

He put a shoebox across his face to hide his shame--- and that was all Cindy needed. With no head, she knew exactly who he was. The perfect man on the cover of her favorite romance novels. She read them all—(Laurell K. Hamilton), (Lizzy Ford), (Karen Marie Moning) and (Gregory L. Hall). Derek was the fantasy lover on each and every book. He was even (hunkier) in person.

“I don’t want to be forward,” she said with a sexy purr. “But you’re a male model, aren’t you? I’m your (biggest) fan.”

Derek lowered the shoebox and stood shocked. “You know my work? Well, not really my work. I only do it to put myself through (medical) school.”

“You want to be a (doctor)? Just when I thought you couldn’t be more perfect.” Cindy was glowing like a (dewy rose) but didn’t hide it. “How about you slide that shoe back on my (happy feet) and let me take you to lunch.”

“I’d like that.” he said as he tore the rest of the shirt from his (manly) torso. “You make me hungry. Hungry for (a nice big bite).”

Although they had to find a place that didn’t enforce the ‘No Shirt, No (Beefcake), No Service’ rule, Cindy didn’t care. She was with her fantasy man and he was with her. She led him to a hot dog stand she passed when she was walking to his store. He had a diet soda water and a plate of lettuce to keep his (manly torso) so buff. As the soon-to-be recipient of his buffitude, Cindy had no such restraint. She ordered a (foot) long hot dog.

There’s no need to go into detail but yes, you know how Cindy’s fairy tale romance ended. Derek came back to her apartment where they spent the rest of the day (boffing), (giggling), (showering), (boffing), (chugging 5-hour energy), (boffing some more), (checking the condoms for pin holes), (showering again), (exploring all the delicate bits), (kissing), (admiring his many covers on the books at the bedside), (boffing), took a brief break and then went back to (boffing), (napping) and (snoring) until the next morn.

Rolling over in her bed, Derek stared into her (azure) eyes. “I think I’ve fallen in love with you, Cindy.”

“I hope so, you gorgeous (hunk-a-licious) man-sickle.” she whispered back to him as she kissed the tip of his perfect (earlobe). She held up a pair of pink suede gold metallic ankle boots. “I stole these from your store. Because as any real woman knows, it’s always about the shoes.”


Comic Review: The Delinquents issue #3 (of 4)

THE DELINQUENTS #3 (of 4)
Written by JAMES ASMUS, FRED VAN LENTE
Art by KANO
Cover by PAOLO RIVERA
$3.99 | T+ | 32 pgs.

Released: Oct 22nd
Valiant Comics
GET DELINQUENT!


As the road trip from hell enters its penultimate pit stop, our curious cuatro must make a choice that will FOREVER CHANGE THE WORLD…or at least change the course of HOBO HISTORY as we know it! With only a mysterious ass-map (yes, we said ass-map!) to guide them, Archer and Armstrong and Quantum and Woody are about out to discover the HOLE of America…uncover the secrets of their mysterious benefactor…and take down corporate America while they’re at it! It’s independent comics, we can do whatever we want, baby!

When we last saw our guys they had stumbled into Old MacDonald's Farm, but this one has a monkey with a machine gun. They are still trying to decipher the ass-map, and the bad guys, who want it, are making bio-engineered walking beef, also known as homicidal plantimals.  We even get treated to a musical montage of the guy's hobo life as they collect ass-map clues to find Big Rock Candy Mountain where the treasure is! We still don't know what the treasure is, but with only one more issue to go we will be finding out soon.


I know I sound like a broken record when it comes to this comic, but it is so much fun, everything from the images to the dialogue will make you snort (beverage of your choice) out your nose.

 5 "thong wearing" Sheep





SharonS