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Friday, March 12, 2021

Interview: UF Author Jimmie Christo (Vampire Joe) + giveaway

What is something unique/quirky about you?
I catch falling objects before I’m aware they’re falling, which is good, because I can be incredibly clumsy.

Tell us something really interesting that's happened to you!
A barefoot shaman (I found this out later) was passing me at my café table as I read the paper. He stopped, looked at me with a seriousness that can only be described as deranged intensity, and said “You’re supposed to be writing books! So go write books!” before continuing along as if nothing had happened.

Where were you born/grew up at?
I was born in Carlton, Melbourne, and grew up in St Kilda, Windsor, and Prahran.

What are you passionate about these days?
I love landscaping, sculpting, making furniture, veganism and the benefits of vaping

Describe yourself in 5 words or less!
Outspoken, decadent, benevolent, hilarious, scandalous.

Do you have a favorite movie?
Fight Club

As a writer, what would you choose as your mascot/avatar/spirit animal?
Two wise, knowing eyeballs floating in a pickle jar.

Can you tell us a little bit about the characters in Vampire Joe?
Yeah okay, So Joe is an antisocial junkie with parental issues. He becomes a vampire through no fault of his own, perhaps, and he has to learn how to navigate the world of people again. He is brash, selfish, egotistical yet self loathing. I think he was in the process of punishing himself to death for wasting his talents when he was transformed, and his expected or perceived morality as a vampire comes into conflict with his actual morality, which he is only just having to now define. A decadent reprobate, vampiring becomes him, slowly.

What did you enjoy most about writing this book?
Oh my god I laughed so hard writing this I was asked to leave the library more than once. I discovered that I am actually pretty funny.

Who designed your book covers?
Alexander Marinov, he is a Bulgarian art student who works with digital art tools, he did an absolutely fantastic job, I wanted James Dean’s strut with James Franco’s broodiness, in an alleyway covered in blood. I think he nailed it!

If your book was made into a film, who would you like to play the lead?
James Franco, for sure! In saying that, I pictured a young Sam Rockwell as I wrote it, but he is too old now.

Advice you would give new authors?
The first 200 words in any day are the most important, and it is a super easy minimum goal. If you only write 200 words a day as a daily practice, you will write a book in 500 days. If you write 200 words, your flow will flow, and you will hit 5k words without blinking.

Also, use to increase your reading speed, and you must must must get your typing speed up. Something happens when you approach 80 to 100wpm, you begin to stream consciousness and you might find the words are up on the screen before you get a chance to think about them too much. When you get to that, its like you’re reading new words on the screen.

Describe your writing style.
Seat of ma frickin pants! I have a vague idea where the storys headed, but stuff always crops up to divert it, change the moods, change the motivations, force the characters to react. About five to seven chapters from the end I know what’s left, what has to be done, what will be left open etc and I plot out the remaining chapters with a short chapter summary

Vampire Joe
by Jimmie Christo
June 1, 2019
Genre: Humorous Urban Fantasy
Do you even know how much of a pain becoming a vampire is?

All Joe ever wanted was to shoot up some smack, sit in his apartment, listen to some Nick Cave and be left the hell alone.

Now he has to cope with his addictions, his dealer, a new girlfriend,, the mafia, the cops, his christian minister AND an unquenchable thirst for human blood.

How the hell does life get harder AFTER you die!?

Review from the 28th Annual Writer’s Digest Self-Published Book Awards:
There was absolutely nothing conventional about this novel or its author. The author bio is unique – I’ve never encountered something so demeaning yet at the same time funny and strangely endearing. And as for the book? This is a very different take on the vampire theme as we encounter a no-good, drug-addicted lay-about gain immortality and bring other equally antisocial undesirables into the fold. You really want to despise the main character for his attitude, drug abuse, filthy language, squalid and nasty lifestyle and sexism – I wanted to hate him on sight, yet the author manages to draw you into his world and actually start pulling for him. I didn’t even want to read any more at one point as the excessive use of foul language and vulgarity seemed gratuitous. But then my eyes and ears have witnessed much worse, including Trainspotting, and that was a masterpiece. So the author is a skillful writer in the way he manages to drag you kicking and screaming into the story and start actually liking and sympathizing with some of the people. Jimmie Christo is a master at character development humanizing the most deplorably diabolically sick characters. I found myself happily reading right through to the end, tightly clutching my pearls as I eagerly flipped through the pages. The dialogue is well-written, vulgarities and all, the plot is face-paced, the cover is striking in its simplicity, and overall a good read – it’s one I definitely won’t forget!

About the Author

Born in Carlton in 1979, Jimmie Christo is an author of the lowest calibre.

A criminal since birth (he stole his mother's heart), he grew in the care of the state until he was 18, whereby said state awarded him the Keys to the Universe (citation needed) after imparting no life skills.

He has literally been using the word literally literally, literally all his life (figuratively speaking) and is a pain in the arse most of the time.

He spent four years in jail for crimes he didn't really commit to, namely trafficking (We believe the plan was to consume the whole volume in it's entirety himself, although it was too large an amount for anyone not completely ravaged by addiction to comprehend as such), posession, weapons, burglary and being a not very nice person.

While incarcerated at Her Majesty's Pleasure, determined to get more out of them than they took from him, he wrote a whole bunch of books and movies. Also, he may have changed his outlook on his existence. That said, he is not returning the Keys.

Vampire Joe is his first published work, read by eleven people to critical acclaim. Everyone else who read it said it was vile rubbish.

He has also written YA sci-fi and children's novels, understandably under a much nicer alter ego, keeping grown-up stuff like Joe separate.

$50 Amazon
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  1. I didn't know about this book, I already want to read it.

  2. I have to admit the author bio makes me want to read the book even more.