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Showing posts with label Jennifer Harlow. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Jennifer Harlow. Show all posts

Friday, September 14, 2018

How does one join this F.R.E.A.K.S. Show? Take Jennifer Harlow's test... + giveaway

Come one, come all…it’s time to get your F.R.E.A.K.S. on!

How does one join this F.R.E.A.K.S. Show? Well, we don’t accept just anyone. We are a collective of like-minded people who enjoy carnage, mayhem, the occult, witty one-liners, wise assery, and romance. Founded in 2011 by Supreme Leader Jennifer Harlow, (typist’s note: she’s the only drawback to the organization—what an egomaniac) the F.R.E.A.K.S come together to celebrate all things cool and edgy. Interested in learning if you’re right for the most awesome organization in the history of ever (note: Harlow made me write that. Sorry), see our test below. Check all that apply:

__I have used the word "Frak" at least once

__I know what the T.A.R.D.I.S. is and stands for

__I have scribbled "Mrs. Nathan Fillion/Mr. Scarlett Johanssen" at least once in a notebook

__I’ve spent more time in the Marvel universe than with my real family

__I understand all the non-physics references on The Big Bang Theory

__I know there is no one cooler on planet earth than Bruce Campbell

__I have had a conversation about who shot first, Han or Greedo

__I am saving up for a black 60s Impala

__I have a comic book/action figure collection under the stairs

__I named my pet after my Dungeons & Dragons character

__I am a Cumberbitch

__I know the Westeros family trees of the great families

__I would sell my soul to go to Hogwarts

__I have been a member of at least one MMORPG Guild (DevilZ Rejects for life!!!)

__I've had Trouble with Tribbles

__I’ve run zombie apocalypse drills more than fire drills

__Kevin Smith is my Stoner Lord and Savior

__I sacrifice goats to the continued awesomeness that is Joss Whedon

__ Garrus Vakarian is my space dinosaur boyfriend

__I’ve ordered Crimson Vale, Supreme Leader’s newest book (instant acceptance for this one)
If you answered yes to two or more, congratulations, you’re in! You’re a F.R.E.A.K. Come to the meetings, we have punch and pie. (Please bring your own punch and pie.)

Want to find out more about the F.R.E.A.K.S. Show? Check out Supreme Leader’s website www.jenniferharlowbooks.com or read her latest, Crimson Vale, which her mother praises as, “Cool.”
Enjoy the F.R.E.A.K.S. Show!



Crimson Vale: A Modern Gothic Love Story
by Jennifer Harlow
September 11, 2018 
Genre: Horror, Paranormal Romance
Publisher: Devil on the Left Books
ISBN: 978-1-7326854-0-6
ISBN: 978-1-7326854-1-3
ASIN: B07GD4QTC3
Number of pages: 300
Word Count: 99,000
Cover Artist: Jennifer Dowis
Lust…Murder…Madness.

Welcome to Crimson Vale.

It’s a dream come true. A vast inheritance. A beautiful mansion in the heart of the small town South. A seductive, mysterious, literal man of her dreams offering true, pure love. Ravaged in both body and mind, Jane Harrow leaps into that living dream with abandon.

Despite the voices.

Despite the visions.

Despite the warnings from both the living and the dead.

Because what Jane doesn’t know is nothing and no one are what they seem.

Because demons from the past are patient. Because dreams can quickly turn into living nightmares, especially in…Crimson Vale


Excerpt:
This must be where it happened. My uncle lay in this room for close to forty years with my grandmother by his side, apparently knitting as the tubes and respirator kept him…I wouldn’t call that alive. Undead. What on earth was she thinking? Waiting one year sure, but thirty-plus? Giving up her own life to watch over a comatose man? Insanity. It really must run in the blood. I only hope—

Creaking in the hallway startles me out of my dark thoughts. Darn it, I guess he didn’t leave. I’m not sure how much longer I can handle social niceties. I’m exhausted from the drive, not to mention out of practice with people, and would derive great satisfaction from smacking that letch with my purse should he glimpse down my shirt again. I just want to take a shower, get into my pajamas, and sleep for a week. Have to get him out of here first. I walk into the hallway.

Everything stops.

My lungs, my heart, even my ability to blink stops the moment I set eyes on him. If it were storming outside I would swear I’d just been hit by a bolt of lightning. Time stands as still as we do, just staring at one another with the same awestruck expression. The stranger my age is a few inches over six foot with a lean body encased in an expensive gray suit with matching tie and vest. He could grace the pages of a magazine with that suit, wavy dirty blonde hair with a lock brushing his forehead and coiffed to appear slightly disheveled, big blue eyes, feminine lips, straight nose, and strong jaw ending at a pointed chin. He’s around my age, but as our eyes meet and another wave of whatever this is jolts through me, he seems a century older and I’ve known him every moment, every millisecond of that time. I’m scared, exhilarated, unnerved all at once. But deep down there’s a …recognition peeking through the strum and drang.

I never believed in love at first sight, and I don’t know if that’s what this is, but every atom of mine senses, every atom of his calling to me, screaming for me to sprint over to this stranger, tear off our clothes, and have him rut me like a beast right on the hardwood floor. To feel him stretching me, thrusting inside me. My most sacred place pulsates and grows wet just from the mere thought. What the heck is happening to me? This stranger must be suffering the same torment because those blue eyes grow ravenous like an anorexic faced with prime rib. No one’s ever gazed at me like this, with pure unadulterated, hot, wild, salivating lust. The same way I’m gazing at him. My resolve to remain on my side of the hall cracks with each passing moment. His fails. He lets out a soft grunt and takes a stride toward me. Thank God.

“Mrs. Harrow?”

Those two words break whatever enchantment engulfed me. I somehow pry my eyes away from the stranger toward the creaky stairs. Suddenly I’m freezing and trembling as if in shock. At least I can breathe again, though only in short bursts. D.J. takes the final step up into the hallway. “Oh, good, you found her,” he says to the stranger.

“Yes,” the man says, quiet voice cracking a tad, “I did.”

“Mrs. Harrow, may I present my son, Bram. He’s the one who tracked you down.” D.J. glances from his son to me, eyes narrowing in confusion. “What the hell is the matter with you two? Y’all look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

“We’re fine, sir,” Bram says with only a faint trace of a Southern accent. “Just got a chill. Old house and all.”

“Oh. Well, you can get someone to fix that, I guess. Bram can give you the handyman’s name and number. He’s been the one taking care of things. Hey,” he says to his son, “I’ve been meaning to ask. What happened to all those weird looking creatures and symbols that used to be on all the walls and tables? The gargoyles and such? There were still a ton of them even after the renovation.”

“I, uh, had them removed.” Bram turns to me. “I hope you don’t think I overstepped my bounds. I had them remove the medical equipment too and clean up. I just…wanted to cheer the place up for your arrival.”

“Um, thank you. For thinking of me.”

“Your grandmother would have wanted me to, um, make things as comfortable for you as possible.”

“You’re very kind,” I say, blushing. I’m sure as red as a fire engine. I look over at D.J. “Both of you.”

“So, have you decided what you’re going to do with the place?” D.J. asks me.

“I haven’t really thought that far ahead.”

“But you’re planning on staying, right?” Bram asks with urgency. “At least for a while?”

I meet his eyes again, instantly overpowered by the intense fear in them. I can stand it for only a millisecond. “Um, I-I guess.”

“Well, you are welcome to stay here while the will’s in probate. Or the Cypress Hotel is lovely. There’s also the Crimson Vale Motel, but it’s a tad low rent.”

“Um…” Do I really want to spend the night alone in this house? Two people died here, and those are just the ones I know of. I don’t believe in ghosts—your soul either enters heaven or hell—but this house feels as if it’s under an enchantment. Frozen in time by an evil witch. But it’s mine. I came all this way, and if I don’t stay in this house tonight, I never will. “No, I’ll be staying here. The letter said everything was still turned on?”

“It is,” Bram says. “I-we kept the utilities up to date for when you finally arrived.”

“Thank you. Both.”

We stand in silence for a few awkward moments. I sense Bram staring at me, waiting for something, but I can’t return his gaze. My eyes remain glued to the floor. “Well,” D.J. says, “we’ll get out of your hair. You’re probably tired from your trip. Bram?” The son follows the father down the hall and stairs with me three steps behind to show them out. Bram glances back, each time his mouth opens to say something, but he thinks better of it each time. “You have my card if you have any questions,” D.J. continues. “Don’t hesitate to call, even if it’s just for the name of a good restaurant.”

“Thank you.”

The men step out onto the porch, but I wait at the threshold. “Remember. Anything,” D.J. adds as he ambles to his BMW.

All I want is for you to leave now. “I will. Thank you.”

His son moves toward his own BMW SUV, but halfway there Bram suddenly stops, doesn’t move for a moment, then spins around to face me. For some reason my stomach clenches from nerves as he does. I grip the door handle in case he’s about to finish what he started in the hall, whatever that was. “I, um, I…” he says. His mouth clamps shut again to find the right words. If possible, he’s as unnerved as I am. He shakes his head to clear it and smiles. “Welcome home, Jane.”

Those words send a cascade of warmth through my body like warn rain just washed over me. I haven’t a clue what to say back. All I can manage is a weak smile before retreating inside like a mouse into a hole. The moment the door shuts, I turn my back to it and rest against the wood with a sigh. What is the matter with me? Have I replaced voices and seeing invisible people with nymphomania? I remain pressed against the door until I hear both men drive away, the tension waning as the sounds fade, leaving nothing but glorious silence. The house is still. My house. Mine.

Home.


About the Author:
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Jennifer Harlow spent her restless childhood fighting with her three brothers and scaring the heck out of herself with horror movies and books. She grew up to earn a degree at the University of Virginia which she put to use as a radio DJ, crisis hotline volunteer, bookseller, lab assistant, wedding coordinator, and government investigator. Currently she calls Atlanta home but that restless itch is ever present. In her free time she continues to scare the beejepers out of herself watching scary movies and opening her credit card bills. She is the author of the Amazon best-selling F.R.E.A.K.S. Squad, Midnight Magic Mystery series, The Galilee Falls Trilogy, and won the Independent Publisher’s Award for Best Mystery Novel.

For the soundtrack to her books and other goodies visit her at www.jenniferharlowbooks.com


Tour Giveaway 
1 $25 Amazon Gift Card 

5 ebook copies of Crimson Vale 

5 ebook copies of Justice

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Saturday, June 22, 2013

Character Court: Jennifer Harlow vs Det. Joanna Fallon


All Rise, the Hon. Judge Baaart Presiding

The Plaintiff: Det. Joanna Fallon, Galilee Falls P.D.
The Defendant: Jennifer Harlow, her creator


The Case
The Plaintiff had brought her creator on trial for the many, many trials and tribulations the defendant has made the plaintiff endure, not limited to but including: her alcoholic mother, the murder of her father, her attempted suicide, two decades of unrequited love, forcing her to become the target of an acid-spewing super villain and making her live in a city with the highest concentration of superheroes and villains in the world.

Judge Baaart: Let the bickering commence!

Jennifer Harlow: Your honor, I object to this entire proceeding! My whims and actions should not be questioned. She would not be here, in existence, without me. Who is she to summon me into court?

Judge: Need some help off that high horse, missy? Gonna throw some thunderbolts or a plague of locusts at us too? Haughty is not a good look on you, dear. You’re here now. You will answer the detective’s questions.

Harlow: [muttering under breath] I should so throw a thunderbolt at you. Douche.


Judge: I heard that.

Det. Joanna Fallon: [rising] Thank you, judge. Ms Harlow, I have just one question for you, then you may leave to ruin more lives. And don’t roll your eyes at me. 


Harlow: [rolling eyes] The question?


Fallon: Why the hell are you so damn cruel? What the f*** did I ever do to you? What the hell do you have against me?


Harlow: The truth? [pause] Darlin’, you are my greatest damn creation. Don’t tell your sisters, Bea and Mona, but you are my favorite. 


Fallon: [silence for a few seconds] Excuse me?


Harlow: Don’t get me wrong, I love your sisters. They’re a hell of a lot of fun to write, and I hope read, but with you… you let me run with my inner bitch. You don’t pretend to be nice. You say what’s on your mind, are true to yourself, and don’t take shit from anyone. But you’re flawed. So flawed and layered. Quite frankly, I didn't know I had you in me.


Fallon: Be that as it may, you still haven’t answered my question. Why are you so damn cruel to me? You took my father, gave me an abusive mother, then there’s Justin… you've made me love him for two decades when that love is not returned. You gave him Rebecca. Why not me? And to top it all off, I have a man who literally spews acid from his body gunning for me and I don’t know why. Can’t I have one, just one damn good thing in my life?


Harlow: Let’s take my so-called crimes one at a time, okay? Without the murder of your father, you never would have met Justin. You never would have wanted to become a police officer. Without that event, dozens of people would still be in abject misery because they never had Joanna Fallon to save them. Bring their villain to justice. Your mother, well…without her you never would have known what you didn't want to be like. She forced you to mature, survive in hostile environment. Tell me that hasn't served you well in life. And in the end, she brought you closer to Justin.


Fallon: Yeah. Justin. What’s your excuse for him and me? You made me fall in love with him at first sight. Twenty years. Twenty f***ing years of longing, and desiring him, then you create perfect Rebecca for him. Why?


Harlow: You think you’re the only one who’s ever experienced unrequited love? Happens to the best of us, sweetie darling. And it’s been my experience friendships can be a hell of a lot deeper than people believe. Soul mates don’t have to be the person you’re married to. But the truth is, I didn't want yours to be a traditional romance. I can’t think of another book that deals with unrequited love. Can you? And I did give you Harry. Do I get thanks for that? No! He may be your boss, and you may have to keep the relationship secret at present, but doesn't that just add to the fun? He’s a good man, better than Justin in many respects. Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth, sweetie.


Fallon: And Alkaline? You sent a psychopath who shoots acid from his body after me. That’s not a fair fight. How exactly am I supposed to fight against him? 


Harlow: You want fair, read a children’s book. Watch a romantic comedy. And do you know how lucky you are? “Oh, brave new world that has such people in it.” You live in one that people in my realm would literally kill to live in. A world of miracles of evolution or God or whatever you believe in. People standing up for what’s right, even if they have to wear a mask to do so. Epic battles between living gods.


Fallon: One you've siced on me for no apparent reason on top of everything else. How—


Harlow: Look, I know I've thrown a lot at you. I do. And I will continue to, but I know you can take it. And you will take it with a gun in your hand and wise ass remark on your lips. I’m not promising you an easy path, or even a happy ending, but I do promise your life will never be boring and quite frankly, happiness is so damn hard to write because it is so freaking boring. Some people are happy riding on a merry-go-round. Little ups and downs but really you see the same thing over and over again. Don’t know about you but I prefer a roller coaster. So scary, so thrilling, it tests your mettle. You get more out of a roller coaster. So buckle up sweetie, and enjoy your highs, lows, and curves. And this is only the first chapter. You've got two more to go, and they will be just as wild and twisty. Curse me all you want, but it will be a hell of a ride. But let’s let the readers be the real judges, shall we? [The defendant rises] Now, unless you want that plague of locusts you mentioned which is totally within my power, I have to get back to work. More lives to ruin. And I’m due for margaritas with the muses. Ciao!


The defendant strolled out of the court, after blowing a kiss to the Judge, with a smug smile on her face. 

Judge: Um…so, you, the readers, do you find the defendant’s justifications valid? Does this sound like a world you’d want to live in? Sound off below.


It’s hard being a regular police officer in Galilee Falls, a city with the highest concentration of superheroes and villains in the country. It’s even harder watching your best friend, the man you’re secretly in love with your whole life, planning to marry another woman. Detective Joanna Fallon has to contend with both. When the vilest supervillain in the city’s history, Alkaline, the former crime boss who can shoot acid from his wrists, escapes from the maximum security prison, the whole city is gripped by panic. Leading the pursuit is Captain Harry O’Hara, Joanna’s boss and secret lover, and the city’s champion superhero Justice, who caught the villain last time, much to Joanna’s chagrin. Before her father was murdered in a mugging twenty years earlier, Joanna worshiped the hero, but when he disappeared and failed to save her father, that adoration turned to contempt for all supers. After Alkaline attacks too close to home and targets Joanna as his next victim, tough-as-nail Joanna has to contend with her increasing fear while struggling to choose between her life-long crush and her new-found love. 

At turns vulnerable and fierce, equally mordant and winsome, Joanna is an earnest yet emotionally damaged heroine, who despite the tough breaks of her childhood sees the good in people and vow to protect her beloved city at all costs. An ass-kicking petite firecracker with no superpowers of her own, she charges after supervillains unflinchingly, never losing her wit even when facing her toughest fight. With a coy blend of whimsy and vivid imagination, she delivers both humor and thrills in an action-packed and edgy blend of comic book cool, fantasy-noir, and bitter-sweet romance.

About the Author:
Jennifer Harlow spent her restless childhood fighting with her three brothers and scaring the heck out of herself with horror movies and books. She grew up to earn a degree at the University of Virginia which she put to use as a radio DJ, crisis hotline volunteer, bookseller, lab assistant, wedding coordinator, and government investigator. Currently she calls Northern Virginia home but that restless itch is ever present. In her free time, she continues to scare the beejepers out of herself watching scary movies and opening her credit card bills. She is the author of the Amazon best-selling F.R.E.A.K.S. Squad and Midnight Magic Mystery series. For the soundtrack to her books and other goodies visit her at www.jenniferharlowbooks.com 

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Sheep review: Mind Over Monsters (A F.R.E.A.K.S. Squad Investigations #!)


Mind Over Monsters (A F.R.E.A.K.S. Squad Investigations #1)


Very few people know the truth about Beatrice Alexander. She's no ordinary schoolteacher with a fondness for classic movies. Beatrice can move objects with her mind, an embarrassing and dangerous skill that she's never learned to master—or embrace. After nearly killing her brother by accident, she joins F.R.E.A.K.S. The Federal Response to Extra-Sensory and Kindred Supernaturals is a top-secret offshoot of the FBI that "neutralizes" ghouls, trolls, and other monsters threatening humanity.

Beatrice has no desire to become Buffy the vampire slayer. But F.R.E.A.K.S. offers training to control her power. Also, she doesn't feel like such a freak next to the other supernatural members, including a cute former detective who's a werewolf and an unbearable vampire determined to seduce Beatrice. Despite a natural instinct to flee from hideous, bloodthirsty zombies, Beatrice must prove herself on her first mission to find a cunning necromancer.
This is the first book in Harlow’s new series: F.R.E.A.K.S. Squad Investigations. It stands for Federal Response to Extra-sensory And Kindred Supernaturals, and I give kudos to Harlow for thinking this acronym up! The FBI has set up this special team to help keep supernatural creatures a secret from the rest of the world. When a supernatural being starts causing problems with humans, F.R.E.A.K.S. steps in to clean up the mess.
This is a great series opener. It was funny, clever, fast moving and it has zombies! There is also a little bit of romance (not with a zombie though). I really enjoy first person POV books, and the snarky fourth grade teacher Beatrice is a great character through which to experience the events of the novel. Bea has grown up trying to hide her telekinetic powers so she could fit in, but things haven’t gone so well for her. She is approached by a man who offers to help her control her powers and give her a place on the F.R.E.A.K.S. team. Much hilarity ensues as she comes to meet her new team members and learns just how powerful she is.
On the F.R.E.A.K.S. team there is a mysterious and tortured smexy werewolf, Will, with whom Bea has an instant connection. Romance isn’t the focus of this book, but it is a fun part and I look forward to watching the slow simmer of their relationship grow over the course of this series. And what supernatural book wouldn’t be complete without the arrogant, flirty vampire who tries to hide the fact that he has a heart of gold? (Um....all of them, because vampires are EVIL. -Kalpar) Oliver is wonderfully sexy and spends most the book needling Will and Bea. The team also consists of a pyrokinetic, a teenaged teleporter, a psychometric (who gets visions from objects), and a blind medium who talks to ghosts.
Bea’s first case involves a necromancer who is raising zombies to commit murder. The whodunnit isn’t much of a mystery, but there is tons of action and zombie killing. However, I do think some of the zombie fight scenes were little too long and drawn out. There is also some soul-searching done by Bea as she wonders if she is one of the monsters. Overall this book has a nice mix of mystery, romance, action and character development. I will be following this series and pulling for some smexy for Bea and Will in the next book!
4 machete swinging Sheep!





SS (edit and snark by BAK)
Published by Midnight Ink
Midnight Ink is a fresh new voice in mystery fiction committed to publishing suspenseful tales of all types: hard-boiled thrillers, cozies, historical mysteries, amateur sleuth novels, and more. It’s always midnight somewhere.