GtPGKogPYT4p61R1biicqBXsUzo" /> Google+ Interview: Michael Logan author of Apocalypse Cow + giveaway | I Smell Sheep

Wednesday, August 21, 2013

Interview: Michael Logan author of Apocalypse Cow + giveaway

When I saw the title Apocalypse Cow I just knew we had to talk to the genius behind the book. We wanted to know what kind of mind could come up with this. Well, I think we know now. But you be the judge <G>

Grab some moonpies and Kool-Aid and have a seat. We want to talk zombie livestock!

Sharon: Obviously your book Apocalypse Cow is full of awesome on title alone, but tell our readers a little bit about it.
Michael: It’s a book that grapples with the big questions that have tormented the world’s greatest minds for millennia. Nobody thought of looking through the lens of a zombie animal plague that only three absolutely hopeless cases have any chance of stopping going global. I think you’ll find that the novel tells you everything you need to know about life.
Sharon: Sounds like it needs to be incorporated into the public school system… 

Michael: Well, one teacher in the UK did write to say that ‘her students were enjoying it.’ I dread to think what else they teach in that school.

Sharon: Were there any other titles you thought about before settling on this one?

Michael: The tagline ‘Forget the Cud, They Want Blood’ was the original title. I still think it would have worked, but Apocalypse Cow was just so perfect I had to go with it.

Sharon: Is there a sequel planned? Do you plan to move the zombie apocalypse under the sea next! Can you imagine a zombie Killer Whale or Great White? I can! <G>

Michael: I’m writing the sequel now. It should be done in a few months. No plans to move it under the sea, although a zombie seal does pop up at one point. A zombie Great White would be fantastic, but I’m not sure it would be much deadlier than an average Great White. I would be interested to hear how a zombie shark groan sounded underwater, though.
Sharon: The sharks and whales could make sweet zombie music together. I’d buy the album.

Michael: Yeah, they could play it in spas instead of always putting on flipping Enya.

Katie: Do any of your characters find love amid the zombie mayhem? And no, pre-dinner cow sex does not count! *shudder*

Michael: There is unrequited love, self-love (one of the main protagonists is a teenage boy, after all), and some budding love that may just be emergency sex.

Sharon: Do you often use reptiles as an accessory?
Michael: I have a chameleon that I trained to turn a complementary colour to whatever outfit I’m wearing rather than blending in. The only problem is when the fashion season changes, and we go from pastels to primary colours, I need to spend a few weeks retraining it before I can venture out in public again. There’s nothing worse than a clashing reptilian accessory.
Sharon: You wear him well.

Sharon: What word would you use to fill in the blanks:
“Old MacDonald had an infested farm, e-i-e-i-o. And on his infested farm he had a cow, e-i-e-i-o. With a ___ ___ here, and a ____ _____ there, here a ____ there a ____ everywhere a ___ ____.
Michael: Has to be ‘moorder’.

Sharon: The cows in your book say “moorder”?!
Michael: If you squint your ears, yes.

Katie: Are there zombie sheep in your book?
Michael: Sheep, cats, dogs, rats, squirrels, rabbits. If it’s a mammal, it eventually becomes a zombie.
Sharon: Zombie naked mole rats!? 

Michael: Come on. Now you’re just being silly.

Sharon: Could zombie cow meat be labelled “organic”? 
Michael: Depends how many organs the cow ate before it got turned into a steak.
Sharon: And the percentage of vegetarians too?
Michael: Ah, the sweet irony!

Katie: How many languages do you read/speak?

Michael: Three. English, French and Hungarian. I used to speak decent Serbian, but I have forgotten pretty much all of it.

Sharon: Have you already imagined a movie version of your book?

Michael: A lot of people have told me that this book reads pretty much like a movie, and I tend to think very much in scene format. This is kind of like a mook.
Sharon: Ha! I see what you did there <G>

Katie: Does your family think you are as funny as you think you are?

Michael: If you were to walk past my house, you would think it full of zombies from all the groaning you would hear. That’s actually my wife reacting to my puns. My kids think I’m funny, but they are 1 and 4, so can be forgiven for making that mistake.

Sharon: What kind of soundtrack would you set Apocalypse Cow to? Give us a few songs you would include.

Michael: It would be a mishmash of songs I like, with a preponderance of animal links. The first four songs below I can see fitting somewhere in a film. The last is just because I love the band, who are stark raving bonkers.

War Pigs, Black Sabbath 

-Sweeeet choice!

Dog Days Are Over, Florence and The Machine 

-I think I’ve seen her backup singers on an episode of Star Trek…

Cowgirl, Underworld 

-Er… moving on…

Panic, The Smiths 

R.E.S., The Cardiacs 

-heehee. That is kind of catchy. Reminds me of Devo <G>

Michael: I’m a Cardiacs evangelist, but I've yet to persuade many people to buy their albums. Any band that can pull of that many tempo and key changes operates in the realms of genius.

Sharon: Might I also suggest… 
A Song About Sheep

Michael: What fresh hell is this? My ears are bleeding.

Rapid Fire. Take a deep breath and hold onto your pitch fork.

Sharon: Leather or lace?

Michael: In my formative years, Goth was huge. Everything and everyone was draped in black lace. In Glasgow tech’s student union, if you sat in the wrong corner a giant Goth spider would wrap you in a lacy cocoon and force-feed you cider and blackcurrant as you listened to Bauhaus and Sex Gang Children for eternity. Leather for me.

Katie: Boat or plane?

Michael: If I had the time, boat. I fly a lot out of necessity, but I am the guy who gouges big chunks of plastic out of the armrest at every tiny little bump. 
Sharon: Me too! I have strangers look at me with pity and tell me “it’s gonna be alright” I soooo don’t believe them…

Michael: I’ve had several terrifying experiences, including hitting the wake turbulence of another plane flying between South Sudan and Kenya and having a plane make an emergency landing after having its windscreen cracked. My worst airline trip, though, was with Tajik Air from Moscow to Dushanbe. First the hostess tells us the oxygen masks contain ‘a mixture of fire and oil’. Then, as we take off, a panel falls from the roof and exposes wiring. Meanwhile, all the Tajiks have the new phones they bought in Moscow on and are playing with their ringtones while a guy’s chicken sitting on his lap in a cage freaks out.
Sharon: O_O you win.

Sharon: Cricket or soccer?

Michael: My friend John used to watch a lot of cricket while smoking large amounts of weed. He said it was a perfect combo. In my view, not even ten tabs of ultra-strong Pink Floyd acid could make cricket interesting enough to watch for even five seconds. Football (soccer) for me.

*I Smell Sheep does not condone the use of drugs. Drugs are bad, kids. Don’t do drugs*

Michael: If you want a real salutary lesson about the dangers of drugs, here is Mike Schank from American Movie talking about his bad acid experience.
Sharon: also any interview with Ozzy Osborne from the last 10 years will work too.

Katie: Stub your toe or smash your finger?

Michael: Stub my toe. Smashing sounds a little too permanent, and I need my fingers to play guitar.
Sharon: Writer, musician… any other artsy fartsy things you can do <G>? 

Michael: That’s it, I’m afraid. My wife is an accomplished artist, but I can barely draw a stick figure.

Sharon: Cake or pie?

Michael: There’s a bit more variety in the world of cakes, so the pies would have to go.

Katie: North Pole or South Pole?

Michael: The one Santa doesn't live at. I can’t stand elves or forced jollity.
Sharon: I don’t know. Elves are like gnomes, when fried and dipped in BBQ sauce... not bad.

Sharon: Crayons or magic markers?

Michael: It’s easier to get a crayon out of child’s nostril, which matters when you’re a parent.

Katie: Sandwich or soup?

Michael: Man does not live on bread alone, as the bible said, quite clearly referring to the need to wash your cheese and pickle sarnie down with a nice tomato and basil soup. They go together. But if I had to choose, I’d say sandwich: I love tuna-mayo, and I just don’t think that would work as a soup flavour.

Sharon: Paint or wallpaper?

Michael: I picture damp, dark rooms in which the spaceship wallpaper that once delighted a child is peeling, cockroaches scuttle freely and things lurk in the shadows. Somehow paint doesn't seem as sinister.
Sharon: So… wallpaper it is!

Sharon: I forgot the most important one! Pepsi or Coke

Michael: Considering you can’t buy Pepsi in Kenya, it has to be coke—preferably with some vodka in it.
Sharon: back to mood altering substances... hmm.

Thank you so much for visiting our zombie free (as far as we know) flock! Is there anything you would like to say to our readers before you leave?
Michael: If you think zombie cows are ridiculous, bear in mind that normal cows kill more people each year than sharks: almost 30 times as many. If that’s what docile bovines can do, imagine what they could do if they were angry. Be careful out there.

If you think you've seen it all -- WORLD WAR Z, THE WALKING DEAD-- you haven't seen anything like this. From the twisted brain of Michael Logan comes Apocalypse Cow, a story about three unlikely heroes who must save Britain . . . from a rampaging horde of ZOMBIE COWS!
Forget the cud. They want blood. It began with a cow that just wouldn't die. It would become an epidemic that transformed Britain's livestock into sneezing, slavering, flesh-craving four-legged zombies. And if that wasn't bad enough, the fate of the nation seems to rest on the shoulders of three unlikely heroes: an abattoir worker whose love life is non-existent thanks to the stench of death that clings to him, a teenage vegan with eczema and a weird crush on his maths teacher, and an inept journalist who wouldn't recognize a scoop if she tripped over one. As the nation descends into chaos, can they pool their resources, unlock a cure, and save the world? Three losers.Overwhelming odds.One outcome . . . Yup, we're screwed.

About the Author:
Michael Logan is a Scottish author and journalist, whose writing career has taken him across the globe. Apart from his homeland, which he left in 2003 at the age of 32, Michael has lived in Bosnia, Hungary, Switzerland and Kenya, and reported from many other countries. His experience of riots, refugee camps and other turbulent situations helps fuel his writing.

He wrote his first short story at the tender age of eight, but was distracted by his career as first an engineer, then a journalist for almost three decades before returning to fiction. Apocalypse Cow, which won Terry Pratchett’s Anwhere But Here, Anywhen But Now Prize, is his first novel. His short fiction has previously appeared in literary journals such as Chapman, and his piece We Will Go on Ahead and Wait for You won Fish Publishing’s 2008 international One-Page Fiction Prize.

He currently lives in Nairobi, Kenya, and is married with a young daughter and another child of indeterminate sex on the way. More information can be found on his website:


  1. I think a zombie horse wold be the worse. They can run and are very big.

  2. Wow Sharon and Michael, that is one of the best interviews I ever "red". Farm animal, huh? A cat. They can run, jump, climb, squish, hide and they have wicked claws. I think cats are a little creepy, always lurking and sneaking. Good luck trying to catch me.

    1. heehee, he was pretty fun to play with and yes, cats are creepy little suckers.

  3. Zombie Emus! I know a lot of farms don't have them, but I've seen them at often enough to be scared witless of those suckers!

    Not to mention that whole story about Johnny Cash almost being disemboweled by one freaks me out! Thank god the man wore large belt buckles!

  4. OMG. LOL! This book appeals to me greatly!
    I would be scared of zombie peacocks.

  5. Zombie chickens. Chickens already creep me out, lol!

  6. That was a wild interview. Definitely different! anything at foot level would scare me like rats or mice etc.

  7. I'd also say barn owls, they are silent killers already. Can you just see flocks of them silently diving in formation attacking the citizens?

  8. Great interview. I really, really would fear zombie pigs. Pigs are said to be pretty smart. So think of a relatively smart zombie pig coming after stupid humanity. We really would be screwed. Pigs like to eat meat now anyway. And they are heavy suckers so they could hold their prey down with one piggy foot and tear off what they want. Freaky...Porky Apocalypse. Your bacon bites back!

    1. okay, you put a lot of thought into that... you scare me

  9. I think that Michael Logan picked the right animal. Experience has taught me that the cow is the one to be feared. If a horse has a problem with you, he'll usually just leave (he may scrape you off on a tree first, but hey, that's fair). If a cow has a problem with you, she'll turn around and do her best to stomp'n'gore you into the ground. And then come back and do it again. And call her friends to help. Apocalypse Cow could be one scary book!

  10. Cows are scary. Look at the bull. Just when you thought it was sale to milk the cows.
    Great interview.

  11. Hey folks!

    Nice to see everyone chipping in with their favourite zombie animal. A lot of them are in the book. I live in Kenya, so I would be very afraid down here. Lions, elephants, hippos, rhinos and so on. Flipping terrifying!

  12. This is amazing. I love this interview! xD

    I'm going with a zombie bull. Can you imagine being trampled by one of those beasts? Eeek!


  13. Zombie Sheep! I wouldn't be able to kill them, they're just too cute! I'd be screwed! LOL

  14. A zombie donkey. Thanks for the giveaway.

  15. I also have to go with pigs. They already will eat people like everything bones and all so I think they would be pretty darn scary!

  16. I'm going to have to say a goat. Ours tries to butt you with his horns, chases the other animals (including us), is always getting out of his pen and out of his collar so.... if he were a zombie LOOK OUT!