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Thursday, May 6, 2021

UF Author W. T. Watson: Cliché pet peeves in romance, horror, scifi…

Cliché pet peeves in romance, horror, scifi…

My pet peeve in fantasy is very straightforward; I do not understand the trope of vampires as romantic partners. Here’s my take on someone’s saucy friend trying to talk them out of a really bad decision.

I’m sorry but there is nothing sexy about a blood sucking parasite, no matter how old he is, how nice his clothes are or how great his freaking abs are! Honey, he does not want to be your man, he wants the contents of your veins and, like every other manipulative jerk out there, he will stop at nothing to get what he wants. Nothing!

And let’s not forget that this guy is dead. The only way you are going to get him warm for you, darlin’, is if he has had a donation earlier in the evening (so he is cheating by default). Otherwise, he needs you to contribute and, I expect that being a few pints low does nothing for your libido later in the evening.

I mean seriously who wants to date a fellow who can’t go out in the daytime? No romantic picnics and rolls in the hay on a lazy summer afternoon for you, darlin’. Not unless you enjoy watching your beau go up in flames. I would think that might ruin the mood.

That whole, ‘meet me in the graveyard at midnight’ thing might be fun for a while, but it does nothing for your bone density as you get old. You need to get out in the sun and get that Vitamin D, girl!

And besides, how many times have you told me that you were a morning person? This whole staying up all night thing is giving you bags under your eyes and I am sure Prince Chomps A Lot is digging that, hmmm?

Oh, wait, he promised you eternal life? Think about that for a minute . . . I’ll wait . . .

That’s all well and good but eternity is a long time, darlin’. He’s all full of dark passion and romance now, while its new, but what do you think will happen in a hundred years, huh? I’ll tell you; you will be a lonely bloodsucker who is beholden to some freaking Master who quit caring about you decades ago.

And then there is the Master thing. Seriously?! You wouldn’t even let your last boyfriend choose the location for dinner dates. Now you are going to let some blood sucker lord it over you for centuries?

I seriously think you need your head examined, girl. Wait, what do you mean it’s too late? Oh, hell, good thing I had to extra garlic with dinner. I thought you were looking a little pale tonight . . .

Hunting The Beast
by W. T. Watson
March 5. 2021
Genre: Urban Fantasy
Publisher: Beyond The Fray Publishing
ISBN: 978-1-954528-02-4
Number of pages: 220
Word Count: 64,934
Cover Artist: L Douglas Hogan
Werewolves, cryptid creatures and a protagonist straight out of the pages of lore!

An ancient evil stalks the Adirondacks…

A ghost hunter is faced with events she has never seen before…

A private investigator is not at all what he seems…

When Zachary Collins agrees to help the head of Buffalo Paranormal Investigations with a hostile haunting, he has no idea he will be immersing himself in the hunt for an ancient monster or that the monster may be hunting him.

Zach will need all of his skill, both magical and mundane, to keep his client alive and to survive Hunting the Beast.

Stakeouts are not the most interesting part of my jobs but, on this night, the surveillance duty was alright. It was warm for an October night in Buffalo and Chippewa street was alive with a number of interesting characters. I took a sip of the hot Jamaican Blue I had picked up from the local coffee shop and scanned the street again, trying to parse a werewolf out of the crowd of students and young professionals moving up and down the street.

I’d been told by one of the local witches, a frequent information source, that she had seen a wolf that she did not recognize from the local pack at The Palmero, the local metal bar. Now, it was possible that Alonso Martinez, the Buffalo Pack Alpha, had inducted a new member but, if so, I should have been informed. I am, after all, the Buffalo Region’s Black Dog and I am responsible for enforcing the Charter, the laws of the Otherworld, on the werewolf population.

Whether Alonso was holding out on me or we had a rogue wolf in our midst, I needed to know about it so I had been watching the Palermo for several evenings, hoping to encounter the mysterious werewolf.

I had finished my third cup of coffee and was beginning to think that this night was a wash when I spotted the wolf. He had come around the corner from Delaware slowly. He was a young man of average height incongruously wearing aviator shades in the dark night. It was not the silliness of the sunglasses at night that cued me; it was the fact that as soon as he got close to the human crowds people formed an unconscious ring around him.

Humans have worked hard to become rational beings, to ignore the things that go bump in the night, but they have not evolved so far that they do not recognize a predator in their midst. The boy did not even have enough control to damp his inner carnivore so that he could mix with human society. That made him a rogue and my job now was to bring him in.

I exited the car slowly, conscious that sudden movement might alert the werewolf and moved across the street. Even an untrained wolf had uncannily sharp senses so I checked to make certain the wind was blowing in my face before moving closer to my target. I had dressed in black so I blended with the Goth crowd outside the Palermo until I was directly behind my subject. Speaking softly enough that nonhuman ears could not hear me, I murmured, “ Listen carefully and do not move. I know what you are. Stand quietly and I promise you that no harm will come to you . . .

About the Author:

W. T. Watson is a coffee addict and writer of both fiction and non-fiction. He infuses his work with his expertise in cryptozoology, monster lore, magic, Forteana and the paranormal. W.T. brings a unique shamanic and magical perspective to all of his work after over 30 years of exploration in these topics. When he is not writing or reading about monsters, he can be found outdoors allowing his dogs to take him for a walk around his neighbourhood in Kitchener, Ontario. He lives with his spouse, Stacey, in a townhome that would be jammed with books if it weren’t for e-readers.

HUNTING THE BEAST by @WTWatson2 is available now!
An ancient evil stalks the Adirondacks
A ghost hunter is faced with events that she had never seen before...
#huntingthebeast #phantomblackdog #cryptidfiction #cryptids #paranormalfiction #paranormal


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