Excerpt
Chapter 1
A
whimper pulled me from my sleep, and my eyelids fluttered open.
Gracie’s snout was right in front of me, her light gray fur softly
brushing against my cheek. As her pale blue eyes looked into mine, her
tail began to wag. There was no way I was getting up, and I rolled over
to the other side of my bed, where Hank stood waiting. He fixed his
golden eyes on me, his pure white fur seeming darker in the dim light of
my bedroom. Sunlight filtered through the two large skylights above my
bed, casting a warm light over my room. The rays continued to spread
across posters of my favorite bands, my world map marked with where I
wanted to visit, my only plant that I hadn’t killed, and my high school
guitar leaning against my bookcase. My wolves whimpered again, signaling
it was time to get up. Glancing at the clock on my nightstand, it read
6:00 a.m.
I pulled the covers over my head and tried to fall back
asleep, but that didn’t work out well. My wolves howled as they jumped
onto my king-sized bed. Sitting up, I shook off the sleepiness and
raised my open palms toward Hank. “We’re bros, Hank. Help me out here.
It’s too early. Can’t you and Gracie give me a little more time?”
Hank
reacted by leaping off my bed, sprinting into the hallway, and then
vanishing. Gracie fixed her fierce gaze on me, but I avoided her eyes.
The sound of Hank’s paws tapping against the floor broke the silence as
he charged back into my room, his leash clamped in his mouth.
I shook
my head in frustration, tossed aside my covers, and walked into the
bathroom. They followed closely behind me. “At the very least, let me
take a quick shower before we go for a walk.”
I didn’t let either of
them protest with a bark, howl, or whine and stepped into the shower.
Turning on the hot water, my wolves settled onto the cool porcelain tile
of the bathroom, their eyes on me, waiting. My thoughts drifted back to
one year ago when I discovered the abandoned wolf puppies on my way
home from the local store. They huddled together on the roadside,
trembling and shaking, too young to be without their mother. Their
bodies were mere skin and bones, and they had that look in their eyes
that they were ready to give up. I tucked them into my jacket and rushed
home, fully aware that my grandma would not be pleased with my
impulsive decision, but I had to save them.
My grandma’s eyes widened
in disbelief when she saw the little bundles of fur sticking out from
my jacket as I walked in the door. “Ethan, did you bring wolves into my
house?” She let out a deep sigh and was definitely annoyed, but as she
noticed their desperate state, her disapproval began to fade. She
quickly ushered me and the puppies into her clinic and examined them
thoroughly. “I’m a physician, not a veterinarian,” she said, “but these
puppies are severely dehydrated and malnourished. I can give them
fluids, and you need to buy puppy milk replacement from the feed store.
Let Walter know they are wolf pups and about four weeks old. He will
know what to give you.”
Gracie’s and Hank’s urgent barks jolted me
into the present and forced me to quickly finish my shower. Staring at
myself in the double mirrors over the bathroom vanity, I saw bits of my
grandma in me. We both had curly, caramel brown hair, although hers had
strands of gray. The left corner of our smiles was slightly crooked, a
trait that ran in the family. Our hazel eyes had more green than brown,
and while she stood at 5'6" and weighed 125 pounds, I was taller at
5'10" and weighed 165 pounds.
She was a tough, 66-year-old woman with
a strong personality who never remarried after my grandfather passed
away. I never knew him. He died before I was born. Grandma, being the
town’s physician and surgeon, was accustomed to interacting with people
and found comfort in those conversations. As for me—I was a loner and
found socializing to be a challenge. I preferred the company of animals
over people. Hank and Gracie were my best friends. All I truly needed
was their companionship, along with my grandma’s, of course.
When I
was five, my parents left me at my grandma’s house. That was fourteen
years ago. We lived in Doford Peaks, a small mountain town in the state
of Oakridge, with a population of around 1,200. With winter fully upon
us, I dressed in utility pants, a long-sleeved T-shirt, and my winter
boots to prepare for the cold. I also dressed Hank and Gracie in their
waterproof winter coats and booties. Along with my down jacket, I
grabbed a beanie and gloves. I stuffed my cell phone, inhaler, and
compass into my pants pockets. With Gracie’s and Hank’s leashes in hand,
I left my bedroom and dropped my jacket, beanie, and gloves on the
entryway table.
Hank and Gracie followed me into our rustic kitchen,
with exposed wooden beams and oak cabinets. Grandma particularly loved
the large windows that allowed natural light to stream across the
stone-tiled floor and the breathtaking views of the surrounding
mountains. She was seated at the antique wooden table in the center of
the kitchen, sipping a cup of coffee. Grabbing a granola bar and a
bottle of water, I breathed in the rich aroma of French roast. “Morning,
Grandma. You’re up early.”
“Ethan, good morning. A slight emergency
brought me into the clinic.” She sipped her coffee and continued, “LuAnn
fell on the ice and sliced her hand open. She needed several stitches.”
Grinning, she said, “She asked about you.”
“Please stop with the matchmaking.”
“She’s intelligent and attractive, much like you.”
“That doesn’t mean I have to date her.”
“It doesn’t mean you have to date her. But what’s the harm in having a casual cup of coffee?”
“Being
single works for me. Plus, I wouldn’t know how to talk to her, and I
wouldn’t want to give her the wrong idea. Can we change the subject?”
She placed her coffee mug on the counter. “Fine. Are you going out for a walk with your wolf pack?”
I
scratched Gracie and Hank behind their ears. “As much as I wanted to
sleep in, they insisted I get up and take them for a walk.”
Her gaze
drifted to one of the large windows, where snowflakes were gently
falling outside. Turning her attention back to me, she asked, “Do you
have your inhaler?”
I patted my pocket. “Yes, Grandma.”
“What about your cell phone?”
“I have that too.”
“Since it’s snowing, you should definitely take a jacket, and—”
My chin bobbed toward the door as I interrupted her. “I have a jacket, a beanie, and gloves.”
“Hmm. What about water or a snack?”
I groaned and replied, “Grandma, I’m 19. I’m not a kid anymore. I can take care of myself.”
A
protective expression crossed her face as she placed her hand on her
hip. “Ethan, no matter how old you get, in my eyes, you’ll always be my
precious grandson.”
A sigh escaped my lips, and I shrugged my shoulders. “Do you want to just come with me?”
Her hazel eyes brightened with a smile as she waved a finger at me. “That’s a great idea,” she said. “I’ll get my coat.”
Grandma
came back wearing a down jacket. She was bundled up in winter clothing.
A scarf was wrapped around her neck, and gloves covered her hands while
she tucked her hair beneath the hood of her jacket. She grabbed a
bottle of water from the cupboard and tucked it into her jacket pocket.
Then she reached for Gracie’s leash. “Gracie can come with me.”
“Gracie
is definitely easier to control than Hank. He tends to pull a lot,
especially when he catches a scent.” I handed her Gracie’s leash.
“That’s
true!” she said with a smile. “I’m ready. It’s beautiful right now. The
sun is breaking through the clouds, the snow is falling, and the air
smells of pine cones. What more could we ask for?”
“You sound like a greeting card, Grandma.”
A chuckle escaped her lips. “I do, don’t I?” She opened the solid wood door and replied, “After you.”
Wood
siding wrapped around my grandma’s single-story home. The deep green
roof blended into the surrounding trees, and the many windows let in
tons of light, which my grandma loved. I led Hank through the doorway
and onto the wraparound deck. We made our way down the stairs and onto
the cement driveway. Continuing down the sloped driveway, we passed
Grandma’s clinic, a smaller replica of the main house. Glen’s truck had
cleared the road of snow. At 70, he was still going strong as the owner
of a snowplow truck company. His silver hair was often dusted with snow,
mirroring the bushy eyebrows that framed his kind, gray-blue eyes.
Every time I saw him, he was wearing a flannel shirt, a heavy jacket,
jeans, and boots. Maybe they were his favorites or maybe it was his
uniform, but at least he was consistent.
We walked along the towering
pine trees, now filled with snow, lining both sides of the road. The
crisp, cool air stung my cheeks, so I pulled my beanie down as far as
possible and still be able to see. Hank and Gracie strolled alongside
us, their noses in the air, sniffing at whatever scents they could find.
Grandma asked, “Would you like to talk about the letter your parents sent?”
“I don’t,” I abruptly replied.
“I think we ought to talk about it,” she insisted.
I
looked at her, hoping my expression conveyed my hurt, frustration, and
exhaustion. “Grandma, I love you. I know my dad is your son, and I don’t
mean any disrespect, but they handed me off to you fourteen years ago.
Mom and Dad haven’t visited me for any occasion—birthdays, Thanksgiving,
or Christmas. They ghosted me! I couldn’t care less about their stupid
letters.”
“I understand where you’re coming from,” she sympathized.
“Although I don’t support the choice they made, I know it was very tough
for them to leave you in my care, and I can only imagine how confusing
this all is for you. I don’t know what your letter said, but in my
letter, they reiterated their continued search for a cure for asthma.
Their letter made it very clear that they’re doing everything possible
to help you live a healthier, happier life. I hope you know how much
both your parents love you.”
“Researching for fourteen years,
Grandma?” I exclaimed, my voice filled with exasperation. “I’m sure even
you don’t even believe that.”
“I know they love you.”
“If they
truly loved me, they would have been present in my life instead of
concentrating on scientific research. My parents didn’t want a flawed
son.”
Her hand touched mine as she paused. “Ethan, you can’t possibly believe that.”
“Regardless
of what I believe, the fact remains that I have asthma, and I manage
it. You stood beside me, not my parents. They’ve been absent most of my
life. Even if they returned now, I probably wouldn’t want to see them.
I’m sorry, Grandma.” I softened my tone. “My anger is directed at them,
not you, and I’m just not ready to forgive them.”
She hugged me tight and reassured me. “Ethan, I will always be here for you.”
In
her arms, emotions surged within me, and tears threatened to fall. Hank
and Gracie surrounded me, nuzzling their furry heads against my body in
an attempt to comfort me. As I pulled away, I admitted, “Talking about
them doesn’t help. It only makes matters worse.”
“I understand how
you feel. Everything is going to be okay, I promise. Let’s continue our
morning walk with Hank and Gracie and enjoy the day together.”
Relieved,
I nodded, and we continued down the road. Hank and Gracie glanced back
at me occasionally to ensure I was okay. As we walked, the various
smells around us began to capture their attention more than my presence.
They trotted happily alongside me, their snouts pressed to the
pavement, wagging their tails as they sniffed every tree.
“It’s chilly today,” Grandma said and shivered and then glanced at me. “How are you feeling? Any shortness of breath?”
“So far, so good, but I agree it’s super cold. Maybe we can cut our walk short.”
“Good idea, and I agree.”
Hank
suddenly stopped, raised his nose, and howled. A few birds scattered
from the branches above, startled by his abrupt call. Had he sensed
something: an approaching storm or another animal nearby? Gracie’s ears
perked up as she lifted her head and let out a softer but equally
determined howl. My wolves stood side by side, their eyes scanning the
horizon, alert to something I couldn’t see. Hank started tugging on his
leash, and I pulled backward. “What is it, Hank?”
“I don’t see anything,” Grandma said, glancing around the area.
I
peered between the trees, searching and feeling compelled to understand
what Hank and Gracie were sensing. “They definitely smell something.
Let’s check.”
“I am not sure if it is safe, Ethan.”
“Grandma, we
need to investigate. If it’s an injured animal or more abandoned pups,
we can call Marsha and have her send her wildlife team out here.”
“Fair enough.” Grandma nodded.
I released the slack on Hank’s leash and commanded, “Find it!
Hank
and Gracie raced ahead, tugging Grandma and me along. Our breaths rose
into the air like swirls of smoke. Frost covered the road, crunching
beneath our boots as we followed my wolves. As we went down the road,
the trees got thicker and thicker, reaching up to the pale sky, casting
shadows, and blocking out the sun.
My wolves’ noses skimmed along the
damp earth, sniffing. Occasionally, they paused to circle a spot
several times before continuing on their determined path with their
noses once again on the ground. They sped up and tensed their bodies as
they focused on the trail that led us up the hill to a cliff that looked
like the entrance to a cave.
Despite the cold, beads of sweat formed
on my forehead, and a tightness spread across my chest. The familiar
constriction gripped my lungs the higher we climbed. I couldn't wait any
longer. I needed my medicine. Fumbling in my pocket, I reached for my
inhaler. I could feel Grandma’s eyes fixed on me as I struggled to
breathe.
Grandma’s voice was tense as she ordered, “Stop and use your inhaler. You’re having trouble breathing.”
“Hank is pulling me too hard. I can take a puff while I’m moving.”
“Nonsense,”
Grandma said, taking Hank’s leash from me and bringing both Hank and
Gracie to a halt. The wolves howled in protest. “There, now they’ve
stopped. Please, Ethan, use your inhaler right now, and I mean it.”
I
didn’t argue and put my inhaler in my mouth, pressed the button,
releasing the medication, and breathed deeply. After a few seconds of
inhaling and exhaling, the pressure lessened, and I put my inhaler back
in my pocket. Gradually, the tightness in my chest vanished.
“Better?”
I nodded.
“I can’t risk your health for Hank and Gracie to chase down some scent. We need to turn back.”
“No, Grandma! I’m fine. If there’s an animal in trouble, we need to save it. I’ll never forgive myself if we don’t keep going.”
Her
lips formed a thin line, and her brow furrowed with disapproval.
Grandma knew that Hank and Gracie were not just my pets. They knew me
better than any human. They were part of our family. I felt a deep
responsibility to protect all animals, and my grandma knew that.
Again, I begged, “Please, Grandma.”
After
several minutes of hesitation, she finally responded, “We’ll proceed,
but if you have another episode, we’re finished.” She handed Hank’s
leash back to me.
I let out a sigh of relief. “Thank you. I’ll be okay. I promise.”
She huffed and waved me forward.
After
hiking up the hill, we arrived at the cave, its dark entrance framed by
jagged rocks. A thick fog floated within the darkness, reminding me of
dry ice. I had my doubts about going inside. The cave floor could be
unstable or wild animals could be hiding inside. And what if the air was
thin and stale and triggered my asthma? But Hank and Gracie were
insistent, pulling on their leashes to get closer.
Peering into the cave, Grandma asked, “Did you bring a flashlight?”
“No, I didn’t,” I replied, my eyes widening as a thought struck me. “I can use the app on my phone.”
When
I pulled my phone out of my pocket, Hank leapt forward, yanking his
leash from my grip. Gracie followed suit, breaking free from Grandma’s
hand and racing after Hank. I switched on the flashlight app, flooding
the cave with light. The beam flickered across dirt and jagged rocks. I
pointed it upward, and Hank and Gracie running down a narrow passageway
fell into view. The musty stench and distant sounds of water dripping
grew stronger as we followed them.
“They must have found the source,” Grandma said, matching my pace.
My
heart raced as fear tightened in my throat at the thought of something
harming my wolves. “I’m freaking out,” I blurted, trying to keep my
phone steady with trembling hands. I had no idea what this cave
contained, whether it was safe, or what Hank and Gracie had stumbled
upon. They never disobeyed me. Maybe Grandma was right about turning
back.
“They’ll be fine. They’re strong creatures. Just try not to worry.”
“I’m trying not to.”
Hank
barked sharply, his call signaling to me that he needed me. I rushed
blindly into the cave, adrenaline coursing through me. The sound of
Grandma’s boots brushing against the cave floor echoed behind me as she
ran.
The flashlight beam caught something ahead, but the darkness
obscured my view. Upon closer inspection, I saw Hank and Gracie circling
something on the ground. Slowing down, I hoped it wasn’t an injured
animal. As Grandma reached the spot ahead of me, she gasped. I stood
still, unable to take another step. “Grandma, what’s going on? What is
it?”
As her gaze turned toward me, she said, “Not a what, but a who. It’s a young woman, maybe 18 or 19 years old.”
“What?”
I rushed forward, closing the distance to the scene. I halted just
behind Grandma, who was kneeling beside an unconscious girl, curled up
in a fetal position, wearing a hospital gown. Hank and Gracie stood
close by. Her long strawberry blonde hair was a matted, tangled mess
hanging over her face. Her pale skin stood out in contrast to the
bruises and deep red cuts all over her arms, legs, and especially her
bare feet. Pus oozed out of them.
Grandma was in full-on doctor mode,
checking the girl’s pulse, listening to her breathing, and examining
her numerous wounds. As she assessed the girl’s condition, her eyes
narrowed in concentration.
“Jesus,” I whispered. “Is she alive?”
“Her
pulse is weak, and her breathing is shallow, but she’s alive,” Grandma
confirmed, her focus on the girl. “Her body temperature is low. It could
be hypothermia. She’s wearing a wristband, but it’s not from the
hospital in town.” She turned to me. “Give me your jacket. She needs to
warm up.”
I removed my jacket and handed it to Grandma, who carefully wrapped it around the girl.
“We
need to get her out of here and to my clinic immediately,” Grandma
urged. “We can’t carry her, and I need my medical van. You’ll need to
keep a close watch on her while I go get the van. Be prepared that you
may have to perform CPR if her heart stops.”
My jaw dropped slowly as
the weight of responsibility washed over me, sending a wave of anxiety
coursing through my body. The thought of performing lifesaving measures
on someone was terrifying. What if I screwed up? “I’m your bookkeeper.
This is beyond my capabilities,” I said, gesturing toward the girl. “I
can’t help her.”
“You can handle this. Besides, we’ve trained many times on all emergency procedures.”
The
cave felt as if it were closing in around me. Memories of Grandma’s
first aid lessons flooded my mind, each one a jumbled mess of
instructions and distant recollections. I shook my head firmly. “No, I
can’t do it. What if she wakes up and sees some guy standing over her?
You know I’m not comfortable with people. She’ll probably freak out.
Just let me go get the van, and you stay here.”
Grandma looked at me,
as if weighing my suggestion, but her expression remained firm. “I
understand your hesitation, but she needs medical treatment immediately.
You’ll have to run to the house, Ethan. I can’t risk you having an
asthma attack. It’s better if I go.”
The thought of being alone with
an unconscious stranger filled me with anxiety. What if I made a mistake
and ended up making things worse instead of better? What if her
injuries worsened, and I wasn’t able to save her? Every rational part of
me screamed at me to let Grandma handle it. I had to be the one to get
the van. “I’ve hiked trails many times—maybe not up a mountain, but I’ve
covered long distances without an episode. Plus, I have my inhaler.
Please let me get the van, Grandma.”
She studied me for several
minutes, probably envisioning various scenarios and their likely
outcomes. After sighing, she relented. “All right. The keys to my van
are in my office in the top drawer on the right side of my desk at the
clinic, not my home office.”
I nodded and turned to leave but quickly
faced Grandma again. My gaze shifted to Hank and Gracie. Instead of
coming with me, they remained by the girl’s side. My brows furrowed in
confusion. Why had they tracked her in the first place, and why were
they so protective of her? Was it her injuries? The blood? The
situation? It didn’t make sense.
“Ethan, what’s wrong?” Grandma asked, interrupting my thoughts.
I
glanced at her before shifting my focus back to my wolves. “Hank and
Gracie,” I said. “It’s odd how they’re behaving. They don’t even know
this girl that they’re trying so hard to protect.”
“We can figure
that out later. Right now, we need to get this girl to my clinic.” She
waved me away. “Go now and hurry back. Stay safe.”
“I will.” I cast one final glance at Hank and Gracie before hurrying out of the cave.
forbidden love
