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Wednesday, July 9, 2014

Book Review: Life With a Fire-Breathing Girlfriend by Bryan Fields

Life With a Fire-Breathing Girlfriend
by Bryan Fields
ebook, 206 pages
Published January 2014
A lot of guys claim to have hot girlfriends. David Fraser has one who actually breathes fire.

Rose Drake is a Dragoness in Human form, come to Earth for three years to soak up the local energy and increase her chances of having happy, healthy, baby hatchlings when she goes home. In exchange for his time and energy, David’s body and love life both undergo extreme makeovers. It sounds like the deal of a lifetime.

Fate doesn’t let David and Rose off so easily. A friend of theirs is murdered, their homeowner’s association starts harassing them, and they have to complete a quest for an Elven sage in order to stop a genocidal Unicorn from turning Earth into a radioactive wasteland.

After all, when you’re dating a Dragon, you’re already a hero. It says so in the fine print.

This was a fun and interesting book filled with campy humor and nerd culture references. It is a collection of three novellas told from the first person POV of David. The first is about how David and Rose meet. It's the funniest because Rose thinks like a dragon and has to learn to fit into society. The other two are separate adventures David, Rose and their close group of friends go on. In the second one they taking on their Home Owners Association and Rose uses her dragon abilities to stop the neighbor from hell. The third is an actual quest 
they must go on to save the world from a Unicorn, who also happens to be an a**hole.

The writing is tight and typical of male written urban fantasy. There is more emphasis put on the story rather than the characters. If you check out Bryan Field's bio below you can get a idea about his sense of humor.

Underneath all the campy humor is a story of tolerance and acceptance. David’s best friend is a lesbian, the female dragons who come to Earth pick a person based on their spirit and not by gender, there is a neighbor who doesn’t like Rose and tries to cause trouble for her, and then there is the self-righteous unicorn who thinks he knows what’s best for everyone. You aren’t hit over the head with the message, but it is definitely there.

If you are into gaming, sci-fi, or fantasy you will enjoy this one. It's a great change of pace.

“I didn’t just want to be with her; I wanted to be standing next to her on the peak of a mountain, wearing a kilt and waving a claymore while Queen rocked out the background music.”

David: “I was talking to a guy who needs to be fed to a giant singing plant from outer space.”
Rose: “Oh,” she said. “Would a non-singing variety from another dimension count? I could arrange that.”

“So, what’s the issue with Unicorns?”
“Imagine a cat,” Rose said. “Not just a cat, but a cat that is such a cat, other cats come to it for cat lessons. Take a thousand cats, refine them down to a single drop of pure essence of cat, and make a whole cat out of the stuff.”
I shivered. “Ewww. And that’s a Unicorn?”

“No,” she said. “That’s an Elf. A Unicorn is a thousand times worse. An Elf you can reason with.”

3 1/2 “Glorious Immortal Sovereign Overlords of the Eternal Sky and All Our Shadows Fall Upon” Sheep

Sharon Stogner

About the Author:
By day, I’m a mild-mannered IT tech; by night, a writer who spends too much time in online games. I grew up reading classical authors such as Verne, Burroughs, Wells, Haggard, and Lovecraft, often in conjunction with large doses of Monty Python, Wild Wild West, and Hee-Haw. My current influences include Dr. Who, Girl Genius, and An Idiot Abroad.

I live in Denver with my wife Noelle and daughter Alissa. The three of us can often be found prowling around Istaria, Wizard City, and the wilds of Azeroth. I also makes occasional side jaunts to scavenge bits of ancient technology in the radioactive ruins of the Grand Canyon Province.

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