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Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Sheep Movie Review: Drive, slowly with seat belts

Drive directed by Nicholas Winding Refn stars Ryan Gosling, Bryan Cranston, Carey Mulligan and Ron Perlman was by far one of the worst movies I have seen this year. Hands down this movie stank to the high heavens seriously a complete waste of time and money.

Ryan Gosling stars as a Los Angeles wheelman for hire, stunt driving for movie productions by day and steering getaway vehicles for armed heists by night. Though a loner by nature, Driver can't help falling in love with his beautiful neighbor Irene (Carey Mulligan), a vulnerable young mother dragged into a dangerous underworld by the return of her ex-convict husband Standard (Oscar Isaac). After a heist intended to pay off Standard's protection money spins unpredictably out of control, Driver finds himself driving defense for the girl he loves, tailgated by a syndicate of deadly serious criminals. But when he realizes that the gangsters are after more than the bag of cash in his trunk-that they're coming straight for Irene and her son-Driver is forced to shift gears and go on offense.

First off I will admit that reviews on other sites are giving this movie much better ratings then I am going to give it here. Honestly, I don't know what the other reviewers are seeing in this movie because I'm a fan of Gosling (minus the Notebook) but by no means did he come across as believable in his portrayal as the "car driving badass". Sorry but he's just too soft around the edges for this type of role.

The most annoying thing about the movie was the slow motion. Every scene was littered with the special effect, an every detail just HAD to be slowed down to the point where glaciers look fast by comparison. For example, let's stare long and hard at Ryan driving and now let's slow that down. Oh wait let's look at Carey putting pins in her hair, and let's do it for a really long time and just for kicks and giggles lets slow it down. Despite the fact it's a girl doing her hair, which is in no way exciting. Now let's watch people laugh, ok long pause ANNNNND do it in SLOW MO this time too! Weeee slow mo for everyone! Party time. IN SLOW MO!!!!!! The point I'm trying to make is that the slow motion effect was so heavily overused for things that didn't even merit a slow mo effect that it made the film boring. Snails racing would have been faster than this.

The opening 5 minutes goes off with a kick, starting things out in such an amazing way you really think "wow this is gonna be good!" but it only dies down from there and finally sinks to the bottom of a very murky and ugly grave. There is absolutely no chemistry between Cary and Ryan, none at all but the film wants you to believe it's there. It then wants you to believe these over the topsituations and turns, again all in slow mo with long pauses. Drive's director takes this movie too far by trying to give it some artsy edge, but the only edge I want to feel is a blade sunk deep into something for wasting my time with this trash.

The movie should have been a 5 minute short, because the rest just grated my nerves. No back history is ever given on Ryan's character, he acts slow and talks slow but drives really fast. Excellent, but why? With tuff guy lines that never once came across as "tuff" or "intimidating" I found myself laughing at serious scenes. I ended up throwing popcorn at my girl friend (who picked this movie btw and will never again be picking our films!) and planning my dinner meals for the week just to pass the time. Always useful. Add to all this a soundtrack that sucked so hard my teeth almost fell out, like a scene where clearly the message is given to you, now you get the movie stating the message through song. Lets throw in some interpretive dance while were at it! *bust out dance moves* Sucked. Waste of time. Miss this one.

Getting 1/2 Slow Mo Running Sheep


  1. Like your dance moves! This is definitely not my kind of movie. Well placed slow-mo is awesome, but this doesn't appear to be the case here
    Do you think guys see it in a different way?

  2. sharon loved your review

  3. You are SO wrong. You've been blinded by the hustle and bustle of hollywood blockbusters. Watch some Bela Tarr films to align your perception with reality. The only bad reviews, were from impatient people.

  4. @Anonymous Like I said toward to top part of the review, I totally get that my view on this film is waaay off from what other folks are saying. Hollywood blockbuster or not, a good film and bad film just happen. I don't NEED to have the big ba-boom's going on to be into a film. Far from it, but if you give me something this slow, this boring, with little to go on I'm not going to like it. I didn't believe Ryan's character. At all.
    But I am happy for those that liked it, if you took something from it then job well done for everyone involved in the film. For me, it was a waste.
    But thank you for being honest with me about how you felt. :)

  5. I loved the plot, but the title is a bit boring. Who is not supposed to drive with seat belts fastened? Only those who were born in 1922 perhaps.

  6. Ahem, what do you mean by that? I always drive with my seatbelt fastened! I managed to buy a used car in a very good condition and didn't have to fix anything for the second time. And my wife bought a car from her female friend and repaired almost everything afterwards. Even though the car was only four years old!