Earth is in (im)mortal danger. Only one man can help. One man and a chicken.
Notice: we must explicitly state that no unicorn-tiger hybrids were harmed during the making of this interview. Do not believe the false media! Only believe the side who has a woodchuck named Roger.
We asked Roger the woodchuck five hundred questions about the book and his role and career. Here are the few answers we could interpret:
Interviewer (I): Dear Roger, could you describe yourself to our readers?
Roger (R): No.
Roger proceeded to walk out and then returned with a pastrami sandwich in an hour. He then answered the question stating he is Roger the woodchuck, and people should know him by now.
I: Have you read Gateworlds Earth – Athanator, and if yes, how did you like it?
R: Yes, I have read it. (Roger, at this point, stared out the window for half an hour before answering.) It is a book.
I: And?
R: It has a wonderful woodchuck character. He is intelligent, handsome, strong and modest. He should get a book of his own. But, unfortunately, the other creatures and people in the book are not comparable to the woodchucks’ greatness. They are alright, though in their own non-woodchuck way.
I: And did you like the story?
R: Which story?
I: The story Gateworlds Earth – Athanator describes. How was it?
R: It tells the truth and nothing but the truth. Although the greatness of dragons in some scenes are greatly exaggerated. They are, of course, incomparable to woodchucks, you know. There are many things dragons cannot do that a woodchuck can. When was the last time a dragon chucked wood for example?
I: I confess I do not know. On this note: who are your favourite characters besides yourself in the book?
R: Besides myself … that is hard... Well, I liked the chicken.
I: You liked the great Catherine? What was it you liked about her?
R: Well. (Roger looked around as if scared.) She said she would punch me if I did not, so what I can say, I like her.
I: Now that the first installment of the book is out and you have gained fame, what do you think your next role will be?
R: It is uncertain at the moment. My agent, who is a greater sphinx, is trying to get me the best possible roles. Maybe something with Clooney could work. She is the best combination of intelligence, finesse and life-threatening charm. She will come up with something.
I: As a final question, do you have any message for our readers?
R: Never light your pipe on a red-coloured boat named Betsy during a typhoon 56,7 miles of the shores of Manila. Bad things can happen if you do. I had to learn that the hard way.
I: Thank you for that, mister Roger, it was a pleasure.
R: Thank you, my good human. Thank you.
If you would like to read more about Roger, a chicken named Catherine, and a platypusbear you can catch up on their tales here:
by Gillbert Troll
December 6, 2021
335 pages
Earth is in (im)mortal danger. Only one man can help. One man and a chicken.When a smug but mighty talking tree asks him to retrieve one of the rune crystals of the Multiverse Gate Earth, John Zelm "Athanator" decides against his better judgment that he will do as he is told and recover the guard rune to save the planet. As the balance of the multiverse itself might be at risk, he is helped by powerful allies such as a chicken and a platypusbear.
Can John save us, or are we dead already? You must read the book NOW to find out! Otherwise, it might be too late!
A book by Gillbert Troll, who is in the process of making the renowned multiverse bestseller: "How to start great and meaningful conversations with dark elves."
If you buy the book now a troll will or will not be named after you somewhere in the multiverse!
A book troll. No relation at all to Internet-Trolls! I am tall, dark, and trolly. I have an MSc in Business and a doctorate in Dragon Mythology. Gillbert, as I like to refer to myself, loves to cook, sail, visit new countries and planets, and discuss business strategies in his free time. I have a beautiful elf wife and and cute dragon children.
Likes: Chocolates/sweets/pastries, cute puppies, and kittens.
Dislikes: Absence of chocolates, puppies and kittens, things that want to eat or kill me, meteors heading towards Earth
Hobbies: World domination (I do not have other hobbies because this fills up all my free time)
Work: No, thank you!
I used to be a management consultant, but now I have values. I write mostly fiction such as corporate strategy and sometimes dramas as a political correspondent.
Favorite quote: “Omnium rerum principia parva sunt”.
I have no idea what it means …
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