Kalpar Lectures: So what is a Space Marine?

Recently there has been a lot of girly stuff on the blog. Posts about the sexiest bits of beefcake and mancandy in the Marvel universe and nonsense such as that. (By the by, Katie owes me a quarter every time she uses mancandy, beefcake, or a similar term.She's up to about twenty dollars by now.) So I have decided that weneed to bring something MANLY to this site! "But Kalpar!"my one reader is probably exclaiming. "You have already reviewed the manliest comic ever: Tales From the Bully Pulpit. In which the manliest president of all time, Theodore Roosevelt, engages in the manliest pastime of all time, punching Nazis, on the most manly of planets of all time, Mars, even though it ain't the kind of place to raise your kids because it is in fact cold as hell." Well,dear reader, it is true that there is very little quite as manly asTales From the Bully Pulpit, I shall nonetheless attempt with a helpful lecture on the Space Marines of Warhammer 40k and their origins. BECAUSE SPACE MARINES ARE AWESOME! AND MANLY! And also I've done a couple of posts about Space Marines, so I figure people who are unfamiliar with Warhammer 40,000 would like to have some idea what on earth this is all about.

First I want to provide some background information on Warhammer 40,000 in general. Back in the 1980's a company called Games Workshop developed the table top game Warhammer 40,000. Set in the distant future of the 41st millennium, the forces of the Imperium of Man fight against....pretty much everyone really. How the game works is people buy, assemble, and paint model soldiers to formarmies based on rules in a collection of rule books called codices(plural of codex, I refuse to use codexes). Then you find someone as crazy as you and play on a table (thus tabletop game). To simplify, it's basically a more grown up and expensive way of playing with toy soldiers. The Space Marines are just one of the many armies available to play in 40k. But where do the books and video games that I've reviewed come into the picture? Well that's what we players like to call the "fluff". Basically all information about games like Warhammer 40k are divided into the categories of fluff and crunch. Actual game rules, like how much damage a Hellhound flamethrower tank does, is called crunch. Information like the tendency of Hellhound crews being pyromaniacs, which doesn't really affect gameplay, is called fluff. Books by people like Dan Abnett and Graham McNiell are pure fluff, entertaining to read and with lots of great stories, but really doesn't affect how I play the game. Some people do without fluff entirely, but I think it's a lot more fun to read the fluff and know the rules. So before I get into the fluff of Space Marines, I guess I'll provide their crunch. Basically the Space Marines are a middle-of-the-road army. There's nothing they're particularly bad at, but there's nowhere they shine either. Space Marines can be expected to do any task competently, but they probably won't win a shooting match with a Tau army or hand-to-hand combat with a bunch of Orks, simply because those armies have specialized in those tasks. Overall they're a pretty good army to play for beginners or people who like to keep their options open.

Now we start getting into the fluff. And to give credit where credit is due, some of my phrasing for the first part of this lecture is taken from this helpful video. In the distant future, the Immortal Emperor of Mankind unites the people of Terra under his rule and begins planning his Great Crusade, which would unite the many planet shumanity has settled upon into the Imperium of Man. To do this, he created twenty legions of genetically altered super-warriors which he called Space Marines. Each Space Marine is given nineteen extra organs which turn them into a seven foot tall bad ass warrior completely unarmed. The Imperium then makes them even better by giving them power armor, bolters, and chainswords. The power armor makes them very very hard to kill and the bolters fire .75 caliber bullets that explode. The chainswords are just really freaking cool. So, as you can imagine with twenty legions of these guys, the Emperor's armies seemed unstoppable. In addition, the Emperor created even more powerful Primarchs to lead these legions. However, the four Chaos Gods, realizing the Emperor was going to cause them some trouble, scattered the twenty Primarchs across the galaxy. Shrugging and deciding he'd best get to work anyway, the Emperor proceeded to conquer the galaxy. Along the way he found eighteen of his Primarchsons and put them in charge of their respective legions. (...We don't talk about the two missing Primarchs.) Of all the Primarchs, the Emperor chose Horus to be his commander-in-chief and left him in charge of the Grand Crusade so the Emperor could go set up a government for this empire he conquered. Eventually Horus began to feel unappreciated and fell to Chaos, taking eight other Primarchs and their legions with him. The remaining nine Primarchs and their legions remained loyal to the Emperor, but were overpowered by the treachery of their brothers. Eventually Horus managed to attack Terra itself and the Emperor had to intervene personally.

In the epic battle which followed, the Emperor managed to kill Horus but only after taking serious wounds to his body. (Hey, he was the Immortal Emperor of Mankind, not the Invulnerable Emperor of Mankind.) The traitor legions now broken, it fell to the surviving loyal Primarchs to rebuild the Imperium.

One loyal Primarch, Roboute Guilliman of the Ultramarines, decided to write a book called the Codex Astartes. This book would provide the rules for how Space Marines would act in the future and divide the Space Marine Legions into thousand-strong Space Marine Chapters. One Chapter would keep the colors and emblem of the original Legion, but the successor chapters would adopt their own colors and emblem. This division of the Space Marines would prevent any individual from controlling tensof thousands of Space Marines at once, as the original Primarchs did, and hopefully prevent a civil war on such a scale as the HorusHeresy. Initially half of the surviving loyalist Primarchs opposed Guilliman's plan, however Rogal Dorn of the Imperial Fists intervened and convinced his brothers to follow the Codex Astartes. To this day,however, several Space Marine Chapters do not follow the CodexAstartes and have their own organization and rules. While the successor Chapters number in the hundreds, the nine Chaptersdescended directly from the Legions are alive today, and are listed in order of Legion number.

• Legion I – The Dark Angels: The Dark Angels and their successor Chapters hold a dark secret: half of the Dark Angels Legion betrayed the Emperor during the Horus Heresy. As a result the Dark Angels and their successors, who collectively call themselves “The Unforgiven”, are dedicated to hunting down the surviving traitors.
  
• Legion V – The White Scars: Skilled in hit and run tactics, the White Scars are experts at using motorbikes in lightning assaults against their enemies. Frequently the enemies of the Imperium will find themselves outflanked and outmaneuvered by the White Scars.
  
• Legion VI – The Space Wolves: A notoriously unorthodox Chapter that refuses to follow the Codex Astartes, the Space Wolves are still one of the mightiest and most respected Space Marine Chapters. If there's anything they love more than drinking and carousing, it's fighting the enemies of Mankind. Kind of like Vikings in Space. If the Vikings could spit acid.
  
• Legion VII - The Imperial Fists: Experts at siege warfare, the Imperial Fists are notorious for holding a position against all odds. They also have a reputation for being meticulous in their planning and incredibly serious.
• Legion IX - The Blood Angels: The Blood Angels are one of the more...unorthodox of the Space Marine Chapters. While they follow the Codex Astartes, there are certain mutations in their genes which make them thirst for blood and go crazy. Kind of like vampires, except Katie wouldn't like them. Although repeated investigations have never proved the existence of such a mutation, it remains a major concern.
• Legion X - The Iron Hands: The Iron Hands are different from their brother Marines in the respect that they consider human flesh to be weak and inferior. As a result mechanical augmentations among the Iron Hands are extremely common and they work very closely with the Adeptus Mechanicus, the scientists of the Imperium. As a result of this close partnership, many other Chapters view them with a degree of suspicion.
• Legion XIII - The Ultramarines: The most rigid followers of the Codex Astartes, and as a result the most generic, the Ultramarines had the most surviving members after the Horus Heresy (mostly because they were on the other side of the galaxy.) As a result, the Ultramarines have the most successor Chapters out of all the original Legions.
• Legion XVIII - The Salamanders: The Salamanders have an affinity for fire and fire-based weaponry, which makes sense since they come from a world covered in volcanoes. The Salamanders are also famous for going out of their way to protect the people of the Imperium and are less willing to sacrifice civilians than some other Marine Chapters.
• Legion XIX - The Raven Guard: Despite being super strong and really tall super warriors, the Raven Guard are experts at infiltration and guerrilla warfare. Many enemies of the Imperium have found themselves tormented by the unpredictable and almost-unstoppable attacks of the Raven Guard where they least expect it.

Each Chapter which follows the Codex Astartes is divided into ten companies. The first company consists of the Chapter's veterans, experienced and much-honored warriors. The second through fifth companies are the Chapter's battle companies, the teams that do the bulk of the fighting. The sixth through ninth companies are reserve companies, typically called upon when the battle companies need extra men for a campaign. The tenth company consists of new recruits who are scouts. They do advanced reconnaissance for the other Marines and help soften up the enemy before the main force arrives. Each company is lead by a captain, and is divided into ten squads which are lead by sergeants. The entire Chapter is lead by a Chapter Master, although some Chapters choose to be lead by a council instead. Each Chapter also has a pool of armored vehicles, as well as several heavily armored space ships. Even at only a thousand strong, a Space Marine Chapter is a force to be reckoned with, especially if the entire Chapter is deployed in one place. (Although usually just one Company is enough to settle a conflict.)


Hopefully I haven't bored you to sleep with my lecture on Space Marines and have helped you learn something. Stay tuned for more Kalpar Lectures in the future when I talk about other 40k armies.

The Ultramarines Saga: First Impressions

Today I want to talk about the Ultramarines Saga, as I am calling it. I don't know if it quite counts as a saga and the word itself reminds me of Star Wars, but that's besides the point. The Ultramarines Saga is a collection of books written by Graham McNeill, and follow the adventures of the Ultramarines Chapter of Space Marines. "But Kalpar!" my sole reader would probably be exclaiming at this point. "What is a Space Marine, who are the Ultramarines, and what are these books about then?" A-ha, well I caught you there dear reader because I'm willing to bet that my single reader actually knows about Warhammer 40k. However for anyone who has stumbled onto this page by mistake, I shall explain. In the universe of Warhammer 40,000 Space Marines are genetically-enhanced warriors who defend the Imperium of Man from the uncounted threats it deals with on a daily basis. The Marines are divided into thousand-strong chapters and the most ordinary of these chapters is the Ultramarines. Well, ordinary if you're a seven-foot super soldier with nineteen extra organs in you. As I play the Ultramarines army myself on the tabletop, I was interested in reading McNeill's stories about their adventures.

The book that I read is the Ultramarines Omnibus, which collects a short story as well as the novels Nightbringer, Warriors of Ultramar and Dead Sky Black Sun into one book. However, I am also going to talk about Defenders of Ultramar, a graphic novel which takes place during the events of Dead Sky Black Sun and is tied to the overall plot.

To begin with, overall this book was kind of average. I am willing to recognize the unique challenge of writing Space Marines as character because a lot of what makes them human has been stripped away. They have only a vague memory of what it's like to feel cold or tired or scared, so they have a hard time relating to non-enhanced humans. At the same time, Space Marines still feel a gamut of emotions, joy, anger, pride, desperation, and a whole host of other impulses that can make a Marine make a poor decision. The thing I like about McNeill's writing is that he manages to slip these emotional conflicts into his main character, Captain Uriel Ventris.

When we first meet Captain Ventris, he is the freshly-minted Captain of the Ultramarines Fourth Company. In Nightbringer he forges his company in battle and becomes sure of himself and his abilities as a commander. In Warriors of Ultramar he faces against the Tyranid menace to save the Imperium. However to defeat the Tyranids Captain Ventris violates the Codex Astartes, the book of rules the Ultramarines follow with almost religious devotion, and so he is cast out of his Chapter. Dead Sky Black Sun follows Captain Ventris as he fulfills the Death Oath put upon him by his Chapter to atone for his unorthodox actions.

There are a couple of things that I like about Ventris which come up in these novels and make him a good character to follow. He believes that the Imperium of Man is a living breathing thing consisting of the untold trillions of people that are its population. While other leaders are willing to sacrifice entire planets to stop alien invasions, Ventris is willing to stand and fight to save those very planets even if it is a lost cause. This puts him into conflict with leaders willing to make such sacrifices and in fact drives much of the plot of Warriors of Ultramar. However the other main conflict Ventris faces is adhering to the Codex Astartes. On the one hand, the Codex provides information on a variety of tactical situations and has lead the Ultramarines to countless victories, while Chapters that have failed to heed the Codex have become "wild" and perform bizarre and disturbing rituals. On the other hand, rigid adherence to the Codex leads to predictable battle plans, allows for no initiative, and can lead to stagnation. Ultimately Ventris must find a balance between the two extremes to reap the most benefits.

While I liked Ventris as a character, and I want to read more of the books in the series, I suspect most of it comes from playing Ultramarines. Honestly if you're not into 40k already, you're probably not going to get brought in by this collection of novels. If you like Space Marines and Ultramarines in specific, you'll like this, but otherwise it's basically a bunch of fighting. Which I'm afraid a lot of these books boil down to.

I also want to touch on Defenders of Ultramar, a graphic novel written by McNeill and also features the ongoing battles of the Fourth Company. This story takes place during the events of Dead Sky Black Sun while Captain Ventris is on his Death Oath. Recovering from their wounds on Tarsis Ultra, Fourth Company goes to the world of Espandor to recover a lost Ultramarines ship. However, they soon discover an Ork horde on Espandor and join up with the Planetary Defense Force to defeat the Orks. Honestly, I did not think much of this comic. The plot is basically, Ultramarines go and kill things and does not get any more complex after that. The artwork is downright bad in some cases. And not bad like it's all black and you can't tell what's going on. No, it's more everything looks...rounded. Sort of like a kid's drawing. There are a few panels which look really good, but most of the book's art is sub-par in my opinion. Especially during the fight scenes, which is where you'd want it to be really good. Ultimately, even if you're a fan of the Ultramarines I'd have to give this specific graphic novel a pass.

I'm sorry these books didn't turn out better, however I will be looking more into the adventures of Fourth Company and let you know if it gets better. Hopefully I will be giving my reader more information on the Space Marines at a later date.

- BAK

Titanicus by Dan Abnett, a Warhammer 40,000 novel

So as my two readers...well, I don't know if anyone reads these anymore but I'll say two readers. Anyway as they know, I am a huge fan of Warhammer 40,000 in general, and more specifically Dan Abnett's novels about Warhammer 40k. So already Titanicus (Warhammer 40,000 Novels) fell pretty quickly onto my to-read list. What made this book stand out for me, though was that it is specifically about the Titans and the Adeptus Mechanicus. So far in my readings these factions are generally in the background and are never really main characters. Occasionally a techpriest will show up for a few pages, but they usually get killed in the incredibly dangerous forty-first millennium. So I was rather excited to finally read a book about the Techpriests and the towering war-machines that are the Titans.

Now for those of you who are unfamiliar with Warhammer 40k, I will explain what the Adeptus Mechanicus and the Titans are for the uninitiated. In the distant future humanity has got all sorts of wonderful technology however much of the understanding of how that technology works has been lost. What little knowledge remains has become a series of mystic rituals and superstitions, the majority of which is controlled by the tech-priests of the Adeptus Mechanicus. The techpriests also believe machinery is better than flesh and regularly augment their bodies with cybernetic implants. What isperhaps most important about the techpriests is that they worship the Machine God instead of the Immortal Emperor. While the Adeptus Mechanicus recognize the Emperor of Mankind as the Omnissiah, a physical avatar of the Machine God, they do not approach worship of the Emperor the same way as other Imperial citizens. This leads to some conflict between the two factions, which is explored in the book.The unique viewpoint of the techpriests was interesting to read and provided a good contrast to the Imperial characters.

As for the Titans, well they are the greatest machines of war the Imperium of Mankind can unleash. If you're familiar with the giant robots for Evangelion or Gundam, it's a close analogy however...the Titans are much larger. The largest of Titans carry battle cathedrals on their backs and carry enough firepower to level a city, but don't discount the smaller Titans. The smallest of Titans are only forty-five tall, but they still pack a heck of a punch. A single Titan is a force to be reckoned with, but an entire Legion is enough to raze a world. The main plot of Titanicus is that the forces of Chaos, with Titans stolen during the Horus Heresy, have attacked the Forge World of Orestes. Because they lack the necessary defenses on-planet to drive off the assault, the leaders of Orestes ask for the Titan Legion Invicta to come to their aid. The resulting war is of epic proportions, but an internal schism threatens to tear the Imperium asunder in the face of the forces of Chaos.

Now there were a lot of things I liked about this book, however I had a couple of problems. Abnett's writing is good, as usual, however there are some problems in specific with this book. It's longer than most of his books, being about six hundred pages instead of about three hundred and I feel like it dragged in the middle. For a long time it built up that there is a difference between the Imperium and the Mechanicus, how they're two different cultures that have reached a fragile symbiosis. While the difference becomes the major plot point in the last third or so of the book, I felt like the middle spent too much time building up to it. I also felt like there were a couple of character that were superfluous. Specifically the toymaker and the former crewmember of a Titan. Yeah, they provide a good way to show the atmosphere of the citizens of Orestes, but their scenes feel too short and disconnected from the larger story to be significant.

Aside from the pacing issues in the middle of the novel, I felt it was a good read overall, especially if you want to read about Titans and the techpriests. Again, if you're not a Warhammer 40k fan this is probably not a good introductory novel and I suggest you go with Dan's Gaunt's Ghosts series, but if you're a 40k veteran and want to learn about Titans this is a great book. I give it an overall rating of three and a half sheep because while it's good at what it does, the pacing issues in the middle bugged me. Anyway, if you're an old hand of Warhammer 40k, you'll definitely want to check this one out.

BAK

Required Reading: The Zombie Hunters, by Jenny Romanchuk

In the spirit of the upcoming holiday of Halloween, I have decided to review a webcomic which has recently been introduced to me by a friend of mine. Although there are only about three hundred comics out right now, I like what has been written so far an think that the series has great potential from what I've seen. Like many zombie stories, The Zombie Hunters takes place after the outbreak of the virus and focuses on the humans trying to survive in a world populated almost entirely by zombies. While some might say that it is just another zombie story among hundreds, I think it does a couple of unique things very well.

The plot of The Zombie Hunters is divided between two locations: the Wastelands and the Argus Research Campus. The Argus Research Campus (ARC) is an isolated island with a state of the art disease research facility built before the virus outbreak. Their current goal is to find a cure for the zombie outbreak, and while they have not found one yet, they have promising advances towards a cure. The rest of the island provides a safe home for survivors of the zombie apocalypse who are slowly putting society back together. The Wastelands are the areas on the mainland populated by hordes of zombies and avoided by the surviving humans if they can help it. However, teams of Zombie Hunters occasionally go into the Wastes to scavenge necessary materials for the ARC.

Another thing I really like about this series is how they handle infection in humans. If you come into contact with zombie blood, saliva, or other bodily fluids you become infected with the virus but do not turn into a zombie until you die. Infected humans can also pass the infection to uninfected humans through exchange of bodily fluids, but they cannot be infected again by zombies so they frequently form the zombie hunter teams that go out into the Wastelands. However, if either an infected or uninfected human gets bitten by a zombie they will die and be reanimated as a zombie. Because infected humans carry the risk of infecting other humans, as well as the risk of becoming a zombie if they die, they spend their entire lives isolated in a separate compound on the ARC island and are identified by special badges and armbands. As a result, the infected are often treated as second-class-citizens in the culture of the island and results in tension between the two groups. Although there have only been a few times when Jenny has addressed this issue in her comic, I look forward to more exploration of it in the future.

Another thing I appreciate about this series is how much thought the author seems to have put into this series beforehand. There is a small encyclopedia located on the comic's site which gives information about different types of zombies, the characters, locations, and how the virus works. Much of this information has not yet been explained in the comic and provides helpful background. Furthermore the fact that this information is already out there tells me that Jenny has a definite plan of what she wants to do with the comic and I always appreciate that in a series.

Finally, The Zombie Hunters has plenty of zombie-slaying action, masterfully interwoven with the issues of surviving after the end. I look forward to seeing where this series goes in the future and recommend everyone go and check it out. I'm going to give it four and a half sheep based on what she's produced so far rather than the potential. I feel like we're still building up to a larger story so it hasn't earned a five yet, however I can easily see it doing that in the future. The Zombie Hunters updates regularly on Mondays and sometimes on Thursday and can be found here.

BAK

Snuff by Terry Pratchett, A Discworld Novel

Okay, so as my two readers have probably forgotten by now, several weeks ago I reviewed the wonderful world of Discworld as a whole and hopefully got a few people interested. All of this was in anticipation of the newest book, Snuff: A Novel of Discworld. (Again, I apologize for our shameless plugging of books in the attempt that we shall get some sort of commission off of it through Amazon. Seriously, though it's a hardcover book for $14, so pretty good price in my opinion.) Anyway, so if I recall correctly I received my copy on Thursday, October 14th and finished it by Monday, October 17th. I know, slow of me but I wanted to savor this one. "But Kalpar!" You are surely exclaiming at this point, "If you finished the book on the 17th, why is this review only coming out on the 26th?" That's a very good question my dear readers, and you alway have the best questions. The answer is simply I am writing it here on the 18th but due to a large influx of smut from Katie and Sharon, my review got pushed to the 26th. So blame them, it's all their fault.

Anyway, dear readers, after getting past my normal first paragraph of madman rantings you are probably wondering my opinion on the book. Well thank you, dear readers, because people very rarely ask my opinion. Now Sam Vimes has been my favorite character for a very long time, mainly because of his personal morality. Vimes isn't afraid to fight dirty if he has to, having grown up on the streets of Ankh-Morpork, but he's also got his own moral code. He will follow the law to the best of his ability at all times, and while he might have to bend the law he never breaks it. Furthermore he hunts down those who break the law with extreme prejudice, regardless of their social standing. (And this is an important thing because many of the nobility of Ankh-Morpork think themselves above the law....at least until Vimes or his men come knocking at their front door.) At the end of the day he is a man of his principles and has certain values he holds as absolute. I really admire that in a character and feel that he, and the rest of the Watch characters, are rather well-written. Now, is this book going to be on my list of favorites for Vimes? Probably not, no. But to be fair this is the eighth of the novels dedicated to Vimes and the Watch, not including the novels where they have cameos, so it's one among very good company. I think that overall the book is really good and has some really good moments, but I still like Night Watch and Thud! just the slightest bit better.

Oh yes, I should probably tell everyone what the book is about. Well Sam Vimes is finally taking a holiday at the insistence of his wife, Lady Sybil Ramkin. (Who, I might add, is a really great character when the spotlight is on her.) So Vimes, Lady Sybil, and their son Young Sam pack up and head off to Ramkin Hall out in the country. Being a city boy born and bred Vimes is rather out of his element and wishes that he could do some good old fashioned policing, even if he is supposed to be on holiday. Vimes soon comes across incredible challenges when he finds a goblin girl murdered on his property, and ends up fighting the societal assumption that goblins are nothing more than vermin and thus killing them is not a crime. Like most of his novels, Sir PTerry adds the right amount of social commentary to a solid story and produces a thought-provoking and interesting novel. I do have an issue with one thing in specific Vimes does in this novel, however to explain it would spoil both this book and Thud! so I'm sorry but I'm going to have to avoid discussing it here.

My final thoughts are that this is another fine example of the Discworld series, and although it won't be in my small list of favorites it is still a good example of the series. If you're still new to Discworld in general, or Vimes in specific, I don't suggest you pick up this book. However if A'Tuin and Vimes are old friends of yours, it's well worth the investment. I give it four sheep.

BAK

Required Reading: Terry Pratchett's Discworld

Now, my two readers, as well as Katie and Sharon, have been wondering where I've been hiding for the past month. Well, I've been finishing the Discworld novels I have not yet read in anticipation for the newest book, Snuff, which comes out this October. As my two readers probably remember, I am a huge fan of the Discworld series by British author Sir Terry Pratchett. "But Kalpar!" you are probably exclaiming, because you love exclaiming that, "What is this Discworld series all about?" Well, it's kind of hard to answer, but I'm certainly going to give it my best.

The first thing you need to know about Discworld is that it takes place on the Disc, a perfectly flat circle of a planet which rests on the backs of four elephants. The four elephants, in turn, stand on the back of a ten thousand mile long turtle called the Great A'Tuin who swims through space. Why A'Tuin does this no one knows, but Sir Terry Pratchett says it looks vaguely hopeful, so I guess it will all turn out okay. From this description alone you've probably surmised that Discworld is no ordinary place, and this is true. The second thing you need to know about Discworld is that it is a series of books written by Sir PTerry (as the fans call him) and the first novel, The Colour Of Magic (Discworld Novel), was written in 1983. On average, Sir PTerry has managed to write one Discworld novel per year since 1983, and he is still writing them. As a result Discworld has become a wide and varied setting with many many characters, some of whom have gone through incredible development. For a newcomer, the challenge of finding where to begin can be daunting, however hopefully my insight will help you enter the wonderful magical Discworld.

In the beginning, Discworld was a parody of fantasy stories.The Colour Of Magic (Discworld Novel) introduced us to Rincewind, a wizard who cannot do any magic, and Twoflower, the Disc's first tourist. Sir Pterry deconstructed traditional fantasy ideas such as magic swords, barbarian heroes, and trolls to create the unique flavor of Discworld. However, the series did not stop as a parody. Over the years it has grown into a vehicle for Sir Pterry to satirize our own world and talk about a wide range of issues. Small Gods and Hogfather deal with matters of religion and belief. In Jingo (Discworld) and Monstrous Regiment Sir Pterry satirizes war, and in Reaper Man Sir Pterry explores human mortality itself. Yes, these can be heavy issues, but even in the darkest of Discworld novels Sir Pterry manages to make jokes that are funny and appropriate for the book. The thing I love most about Discworld is that his books have the power to make you laugh and think at the same time. Yes, it may be popular mass print media, but I consider it literary gold nonetheless.

Broadly speaking, the Discworld novels can be divided into six categories. The first are five groups of characters that are the focus of the book, and the last category are the stand alone novels.

1. Rincewind and the Wizards: First appearing in Colour of Magic, the Wizards of Unseen University start out as a competitive group where the only means of promotion is assassination. With the arrival of Archchancellor Ridcully, things settle down and the wizards of UU actually begin to...well wizard. Rincewind, the world's most incompetent wizard, frequently finds himself in adventures he'd rather not have. They're a great parody of academics and bureaucrats everywhere, but know more about how the Disc works than you might initially think.
2. The Lancre Witches: Although Granny Weatherwax first appeared in Equal Rites, she's not fully developed as a character until Wyrd Sisters or Witches Abroad. The other members of the Lancre coven are Magrat Garlick and Nanny Ogg. Far more practical-minded than the staff of Unseen University, the Lancre witches take a very direct approach to adventures that come their way.
3. Death: Yes, the Grim Reaper himself. Death has the honor of being the only character to appear in every single Discworld novel, but he has been the main character in a number of his own novels. Furthermore, Sir Pterry makes Death a very likable character. He likes humans and doesn't bear them any ill-will. In fact he's gone out of his way to protect them from other forces that don't like humans. To quote Sir Pterry, "Not a bad chap when you get to know him (and sooner or later everyone gets to know him)."
4. The Ankh-Morpork City Watch: This is my favorite group of characters, probably because the majority of focus is on Commander Sam Vimes of the City Watch. He's a man who believes in the law above all else and does everything he can to enforce it, within certain restrictions. As Vimes himself says, you can't go around being a good guy if you do bad guy things, and I really respect that. For those of you that are familiar with the term "Lawful Good" Vimes is practically its human manifestation, and I absolutely love it. Over the course of the Watch novels Vimes has managed to turn the organization around from the laughingstock of Ankh-Morpork to the most respected and famous police force on the Disc.
5. Moist von Lipwig: A relatively recent character that Sir Pterry introduced because he had the idea of a former con man who was basically a good guy. Lord Vetinari, the Patrician of Ankh-Morpork gives Moist a second chance at life and has him take over the derelict Ankh-Morpork City Post Office. Moist's adventures are a fascinating commentary on the modern world, and at least one more novel has been promised detailing his adventures.
6. Stand-alone novels: These novels focus on a group of characters not listed above and unlike the groups above have only had one novel about them specifically. Members of the other five groups might have a cameo, but the book is not about them.

Now, you're probably wondering "Do I have to begin at the very start to get into Discworld?" The answer is no. While the books mostly follow one after the other chronologically, it is not necessary to read the books in order. It certainly helps, but Sir PTerry has written the series so you can read any of the books in any order you wish. Each novel has a self-contained story which is resolved by the end. Furthermore, I suggest you actually do not begin with Colour of Magic. The starting books of the series are not bad, I just feel that they lack a certain finished quality I see in the later books. As can be expected, Sir Pterry has developed as an author over time and I think he was still just finding his voice in the early books.

"But Kalpar!" You are probably exclaiming right now, "If I shouldn't start with Colour of Magic, which book should I start with?" Well, in my opinion there are three good books that introduce you to the series. If you want to be introduced to the Lancre witches, I suggest you start with Witches Abroad. It's not the first Lancre Witches books, but it's one of my favorites and more importantly introduces you to some very important concepts about Discworld. If you're interested in meeting Sam Vimes and the City Watch first, I suggest you begin with Guards! Guards!. This is the first novel with the then Ankh-Morpork Night Watch it introduces you to Vimes, Carrot, Corporal Nobby Nobbs and Sergeant Fred Colon, and also serves as a great introduction to the overall world of Discworld as well. My final suggestion for novels to introduce you to Discworld is Small Gods. Small Gods is a stand-alone novel and was my own personal introduction to Discword. It's very easy to get into, and I think it does a great job of explaining the world of the Disc, so it's a great choice to begin.

Now, hopefully I haven't spewed too much information on you, but I'm going to add one final piece. Out of all the books in the series, so far I have two favorites: Night Watch and Thud!. Both of these novels are Watch books, and I think that they show Sam Vimes at his very best as a character. We get to look deep inside Vimes and see why he believes what he believes, and perhaps more importantly the code that he holds himself to. I find them really great explorations of Vimes's character and will probably remain my favorite books for a long long time.

I hope that somewhere in this long post I've convinced some of you to pick up a Discworld novel if you haven't already. Stay alert for my review of Snuff when it comes out this October!

BAK

Space Marine: Chainsword Fun

So you're all probably wondering where the heck I disappeared to for the past week. Well for those of you in the know, you're probably aware that Warhammer 40k: Space Marine became available on September 6th. Since I had a gift card that covered most of the cost of the game I decided to get it and see if it was any good. Anyway, as part of my overall role as Warhammer 40,000 expert here at I Smell Sheep, I figured I could go ahead and review the game for the flock. I know it's kind of unusual, but since I managed to finish it within a week of getting the game, I think it calls for a little change-up.

The plot of the game focuses on an Imperial Forge World which has been invaded by a large and vicious horde of Orks. Imperial Authorities ask if they should nuke the planet from orbit, just to be sure, but because the Forge World produces mighty Titans (giant war robots) and other war materials for the Imperium, they decide it's too valuable to destroy. Thus a liberation fleet is sent to repel the Ork invasion and reclaim the planet for the Imperium. Spearheading the liberation is a band of Ultramarines, one of the many chapters of Space Marines, lead by Captain Titus. The Space Marines are genetically engineered super soldiers, given the best weapons and armor the Imperium can provide. Although there may be only about a million of these warriors in the galaxy, they are worth dozens if not hundreds of enemy opponents.

Overall, I found the game to be okay, maybe a little better than okay, but not mind-blowingly fun. To be fair, I haven't had a chance to try the multi-player yet because my X-Box isn't connected to my router, so I'm judging just the single-player campaign. I do have to say that the plot is probably It starts out: "There are some Orks! Go kill them!" and pretty much stays there until Inquisitor Drogan shows up. There is a plot twist, which I guess I shouldn't spoil, but if you're familiar with Warhammer 40,000 at all, you're going to see the plot twist coming from nearly a mile off.

Gameplay wise, I found it pretty enjoyable. Granted, I died a ton, but probably because I suck at video games more than anything else. The chainsword is a fun weapon to have, and you're going to use it a lot. Also there's a nice selection of ranged weapons which I felt allowed for varying play styles. Granted I stuck with my trusty bolter most of the time, but the lascannon was nice to have for those tougher targets. By far, my favorite part of the game was the portions with the jetpacks. I really hope I can get to try being an Assault Marine in the multi-player for more jetpack goodness.

Another thing I feel is worth mentioning is the voice acting, because Warhammer 40k games have a history of some rather hammy acting, but Space Marine manages to avoid this. There are a couple of portions where it feels people are just reading off of a script, but most of the voice acting feels real and reasonable for the situations in which the characters find themselves. True, I kind of liked the ham in previous 40k games, but at least the actors seemed to take themselves seriously.

Perhaps the greatest thing I appreciated about this game is that it really got into the lore of 40k. I specifically remember the game mentioning the Skitarii, a unit of soldiers that to my knowledge only appears in the 40k fluff and probably not many people know about. Also, various audio logs you can collect across the game give you a couple of windows into the 40k universe that really embraces the vast body of material that's been developed over the years. A couple of backgrounds in the game also made me feel like I really was on a Forge World of the Imperium. Any fan of Warhammer 40k is going to be delighted by all the fluff goodies the design team packed into this game.


Overall, the game is okay. If you're a fan of Warhammer 40,000 or a fan of shooters, this game is definitely worth picking up. But if you're more into RPGs or puzzle games, you're going to be sorely disappointed. Overall I give it a rating of three and a half sheep because while it's great for what it is, it's not really accessible to people outside the genres it's catering to. As always, Warhammer 40k: Space Marine is available at Amazon.com. (Please buy something! We need the ad money!)

BAK

Ohio Renaissance Festival

Okay, so Labor Day I got to go to the Ohio Renaissance Festival, and Katie asked me to take some pictures while I was there for the blog.

 There are a lot of bad puns that Katie probably will love. Anyway expect some more

Ooooh, lots and lots of shiny weapons. 

 

Om nom nom nom, tasty turkey leg. 

 One of the great things about Renaissance Festivals is getting to see people doing different crafts like blacksmithing and glassblowing.

 

I didn't actually watch this guy and his "Renaissance Heavy Metal", but I could hear him from all the way across the field. 

 I always enjoy watching people who do fencing exhibitions at the Faire. They told me to take a picture at this point.

 Some pretty chainmail. I didn't get any this year, but maybe someday.

As well as performances, there are always musicians playing period music. An important thing to remember is that they get most of their income in tips, so if they do a good job, tip generously!

 

My favorite event at the Faire every year is the joust. I talked to one of the knights afterwards and he said that the Knights of Valour, the organization of jousters, work to rescue horses and use them as warhorses. Apparently the horses really love the festivals because they get all sorts of attention and they find the jousts really fun. 

Uhhhh, did someone let Katie out of her box? Great, now I'm going to have to hunt her down.

Wait, no I found her. Looking for Highlanders.

More blacksmithing.

Seeing chainmail being made.

Some musicians also bring CDs of their stuff, so if you hear something you like, don't be afraid to buy.

Stonemason

Troll guarding a bridge.

Now, I know a lot of this seems grown-up, but there are plenty of events for the kiddies too.

She ended up tossing the sword to the guy next to me. I guess she missed.

And a final joke.