“Selling your Soul to the Dark Side – Job opportunity”
by Linda Thomas-Sundstrom
Hello Sheepsters! I’m Linda, author of paranormal romance and urban fantasy books for Kensington, Dorchester, Amazon Montlake, and Harlequin Nocturne . . . here to post a job opp I saw recently, and wondering who might fill it. Because I write about dark (or potentially goofy) things, according to whim and contracts, this particular add caught my eye.
The add read: “Recruiter needed. Only the wicked need apply.”
Recruiter? I repeated. As in someone who finds and places people in businesses?
But . . . wicked as a requirement? WTH?
So, of course I called.
Here is what I found out. NEVER ANSWER AN ADD LIKE THAT!
But in case you might fit the bill . . . and have a stubborn streak that makes you want to find out for yourself what this is all about, forgetting that curiosity did the cat in . . .
Job: Recruiter, for the Dark Side.
Experience necessary: None we can mention over the phone.
Job description: Find the souls on a “take down” list, and then take them down.
Interruption by me, here:
Question: “Down, as in . . . below ground?”
Their answer: “All the way to the Underworld, where earthly sins are atoned for.”
Question: “Are we actually talking about hit men?”
Their answer: “We wouldn't out that so crassly.”
(Just so you know, I did dare to pose another question) But I will now paraphrase the rest of what they told me as a sales pitch.
There are perks for a job well done – and are quite profitable, actually.
1) You’d be a princess of the seventh layer of the Seventh Seal of Hades, and get to wear a tiara.
2) You’d have a perfect female assembly, with molecules rearrangeable according to whim.
3) Cushy Manhattan apartment provided.
4) Limmo at your beck and call.
5) Wardrobe to die for.
6) Immortality.
Experience necessary: None we can mention over the phone.
Job description: Find the souls on a “take down” list, and then take them down.
Interruption by me, here:
Question: “Down, as in . . . below ground?”
Their answer: “All the way to the Underworld, where earthly sins are atoned for.”
Question: “Are we actually talking about hit men?”
Their answer: “We wouldn't out that so crassly.”
(Just so you know, I did dare to pose another question) But I will now paraphrase the rest of what they told me as a sales pitch.
There are perks for a job well done – and are quite profitable, actually.
1) You’d be a princess of the seventh layer of the Seventh Seal of Hades, and get to wear a tiara.
2) You’d have a perfect female assembly, with molecules rearrangeable according to whim.
3) Cushy Manhattan apartment provided.
4) Limmo at your beck and call.
5) Wardrobe to die for.
6) Immortality.
Okay, so I had one more question that you’re probably thinking of, too.
Question: “Why is there a job opening?” Answer after a slight hesitation: “We had a defection.”
*I hung up, quickly. My own little defection.
And being a writer, I checked some things out about this “business.” Since the internet is marvelous tool, and can be quite wicked in how far information can go . . . this is what I got:
The Dark Side has 10 Recruiters, the best of which is a being who calls herself “Wanda.” In order to remain on the earth plane, chasing targets, a Recruiter has to be very good at her job, which means she has to be bad news for everyone else.
This piqued my interest, so began a search for “Wanda,” using all resources available to me, and eventually tracked her down. I wrote her story in a biographical urban fantasy novella called “Hot Holiday,” and published it under the series title: Dark vs Light. “Hot Holiday” was just released this month in e-book formats.
Wanda’s tale is worth reading for not only the bits of info and words of wisdom she provides, but to get a handle on what really goes on beneath our noses – things we really, really don’t want to know goes on . . . unless like me, you have to know everything about life and the afterlife and the gray zone (earth plane) where the Light and the Dark sometimes touch down, and though uncomfortable, have to deal.Fascinating? Different? Slightly quirky and not all that dark? Let me tell you . . . her tale is a doosy.
Question: “Why is there a job opening?” Answer after a slight hesitation: “We had a defection.”
*I hung up, quickly. My own little defection.
And being a writer, I checked some things out about this “business.” Since the internet is marvelous tool, and can be quite wicked in how far information can go . . . this is what I got:
The Dark Side has 10 Recruiters, the best of which is a being who calls herself “Wanda.” In order to remain on the earth plane, chasing targets, a Recruiter has to be very good at her job, which means she has to be bad news for everyone else.
This piqued my interest, so began a search for “Wanda,” using all resources available to me, and eventually tracked her down. I wrote her story in a biographical urban fantasy novella called “Hot Holiday,” and published it under the series title: Dark vs Light. “Hot Holiday” was just released this month in e-book formats.
Wanda’s tale is worth reading for not only the bits of info and words of wisdom she provides, but to get a handle on what really goes on beneath our noses – things we really, really don’t want to know goes on . . . unless like me, you have to know everything about life and the afterlife and the gray zone (earth plane) where the Light and the Dark sometimes touch down, and though uncomfortable, have to deal.Fascinating? Different? Slightly quirky and not all that dark? Let me tell you . . . her tale is a doosy.
The Dark Side has placed a hit on Santa Claus, and sent their secret weapon, a Recruiter named Wanda, to seal the deal. But Wanda might not be fully prepared for Santa’s hot, heavenly bodyguard. In the days leading up to Christmas, who would imagine that the Dark Side's voluptuous secret weapon might meet her match in an . . . attorney?
I hope you’ll check it out. (smiley face) Wanda hopes so, too – and since she got hold of Santa’s NAUTHTY List, you might not want to make her mad.
** In the spirit of the season, I’m giving away a backlist book to one lucky commenter. YAY! Who doesn’t like early holiday presents?
I hope you’ll check it out. (smiley face) Wanda hopes so, too – and since she got hold of Santa’s NAUTHTY List, you might not want to make her mad.
** In the spirit of the season, I’m giving away a backlist book to one lucky commenter. YAY! Who doesn’t like early holiday presents?
And Wanda is open for questions. She would like to know if you have anyone in mind who might fit the job description above . . . and what you’re doing to make this upcoming holiday bright?
Please do leave a comment, so we know you’re here. Connecting is what this writing gig is all about. Right? Cheers for now – waiting to hear from you today.
Linda
Please do leave a comment, so we know you’re here. Connecting is what this writing gig is all about. Right? Cheers for now – waiting to hear from you today.
Linda
About the Author:
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Linda Thomas-Sundstrom is an award-winning author of paranormal romance novels and novellas, with books published by Kensington Brava, Dorchester, Amazon Montlake, and Harlequin Nocturne.
Linda lives in the west, and is a teacher by day and a writer by night. She lives with her family on a ranch, and truly believes that "paranormal" is her middle name.
A fan of all things gothic, Linda writes fast-paced, atmospheric paranormal and urban fantasy romances that tweak the genre into tasty, sexy, believable fare. More than anything, she hopes you'll come along on this wild, wonderful ride with her.
Linda Thomas-Sundstrom is an award-winning author of paranormal romance novels and novellas, with books published by Kensington Brava, Dorchester, Amazon Montlake, and Harlequin Nocturne.
Linda lives in the west, and is a teacher by day and a writer by night. She lives with her family on a ranch, and truly believes that "paranormal" is her middle name.
A fan of all things gothic, Linda writes fast-paced, atmospheric paranormal and urban fantasy romances that tweak the genre into tasty, sexy, believable fare. More than anything, she hopes you'll come along on this wild, wonderful ride with her.
