Sheep Movie Review: The Expendables 3

The Expendables 3 (2014)
127 min - Action | Adventure | Thriller

15 August 2014 (USA)
Director: Patrick Hughes
Writers: Sylvester Stallone, Creighton Rothenberger

Starring: Sylvester Stallone, Jason Statham (my baby daddy!), Jet Li (I didn't even know he was in this!?), Antonio Banderas. Wesley Snipes, Dolph Lundgren, Mel Gibson, Harrison Ford, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Terry Crews, Kelsey Grammer, Kellan Lutz, Ronda Rousey, and a 100 other action movie actors and actresses.

Barney (Stallone), Christmas (Statham) and the rest of the team comes face-to-face with Conrad Stonebanks (Gibson), who years ago co-founded The Expendables with Barney. Stonebanks subsequently became a ruthless arms trader and someone who Barney was forced to kill... or so he thought. Stonebanks, who eluded death once before, now is making it his mission to end The Expendables -- but Barney has other plans. Barney decides that he has to fight old blood with new blood, and brings in a new era of Expendables team members, recruiting individuals who are younger, faster and more tech-savvy. The latest mission becomes a clash of classic old-school style versus high-tech expertise in the Expendables' most personal battle yet.

First off let me say, I'm a big fan of explosions, guns, martial arts, and anything super bad ass. Having previously seen other Expendables I knew what I was getting myself into, IE: epic explosions and action, weak storyline. If you're a fan of the series than I suspect your expectations for an amazing storyline are pretty non-existent, and rightfully so. I mean let's face it, you aren't there to see some heart-touching bromance unfold with explosions in the background. No, you're here to A: just how much sh*t can be blown up and B: perhaps see some eye candy? or not, I don't know what your cut off age is for eye candy but I have to say these guys are looking ridiculous for their ages IE: RIPPED AS HELL. 

Don't worry though guys! There's a female! And just to catch your attention we are introduced to her thinking she's some sexy stripper, oops, hostess but in fact she's like a female ninja in a sexy mini dress and heels! (Ohhh! I can hear the pitter patter of hearts!) Thankfully, she gets into more appropriate fighting gear little later on and whoops some booty. 

Really though the commercials would fool you into thinking this movie was all about the new and old Expendables but for quite a bit of the movie it's basically just a brooding Stallone going around getting himself into trouble so said "Expendables" need to step in. I say brooding because Barney (Stallone) is all, "*sigh* we're getting so old, we need to retire before we croak" and you're thinking, "no kidding" and then they bring in new youngsters and they're all , "OMG we're sexy and know how to use technology!" and then Mel Gibson is like, "Hey there, Sugar T*ts" to Luna (aka Ronda Rousey)...ok I made that part up BUT do not tell me you wouldn't snicker if they threw that in there somewhere.

So anyways I digress; there's lots of gun fights, explosions, muscles, some humor, maybe a storyline, and overall it's a fun summer movie. Not great, but fun.

I give it 3 out of 5 exploding sheep heads 

(link for photo)

Guest Reviewer: Jeni Darling
More awesome can be found at Jeni's website HERE

Comic Review: Mind The Gap- Volume #1

Mind The Gap - Volume #1

Written and Created by:

Jim McCann

Art and Covers by:

Rodin Esquejo and Sonia Oback

Image Comics

After Elle Peterssen is mysteriously attacked on a Manhattan subway platform, she is left in a coma, the only clues to her attacker trapped inside her mind. No one knows the identity of the person behind this brutal beating or where they will strike next. In this ALL-NEW ONGOING series, everyone is suspect, and no one is innocent. USAToday calls it an "anxiously anticipated modern thriller...Whodunit? McCann's done it again."

Eisner-winning writer JIM McCANN joins RODIN ESQUEJO (MORNING GLORIES) and SONIA OBACK (S.H.I.E.L.D., The Defenders) unite for a psychological thriller that will leave you guessing at every turn!

"The Mystery behind the attack on Elle Peterssen goes much further back than the actual attack itself. The attack was the first domino falling, and the moment you, dear reader, are thrown into the fray -hope you have your sleuthing hat on!" This is some of what McCann has to say in the back of the book that gives us an idea that there's a bigger conspiracy going to be unfolded for us.

Mind the Gap is a twisty, mind bending, mystery series that takes us on this conspiracy filled journey with Elle Peterssen. Elle appears to be our main focus in this volume; where we're introduced to her, her boyfriend, her best friend, her ever-so-charming well-to-do family (that seems about as cuddly a porcupine), Dr. Geller (who appears to be onto whatever conspiracy is possibly stirring up), Dr. Hammond (not so sure about this guy!), Harold Crenshaw, Crenshaw's assistant Miles, a dark hooded person (who is doing the work of someone talking to him/her on the phone), our tour guide through "The Garden" is mister Bobby, and then there's a coma patient Estaban. Phew! There's a lot of characters at play here but even so the focus remains on Elle and her trying to remember how and why she was attacked. Half way through she starts unlocking some memories leading up to the initial attack and I'm sure as the series continues we'll unlock even more clues as to what's really going on here.

Mind the Gap is beautifully done; the graphics, details, effects (the ghostly glow, the rain falling, car crashing), and the rich colors were all enjoyable and eye catching. The story itself and how it intertwines the characters seen and unseen and how it alternates between the real world and Elle's coma world ("The Garden") is really well done. At first it took me a minute to realize what was happening when we see Elle in this dark room and next thing you know her ghostly body is standing over herself in her hospital bed. From that scene on the scene transitions from "the Garden" (her coma state) as they call it, to what was happening in their world, you quickly catch onto Elle in the her coma state to Elle and the happenings around her in the hospital.

The end scene of the book I must say pretty much got a "WTH!" reaction from me and it's not something I saw coming but I'm strapped in for the ride! I also appreciated at the end of the book how the writer took the time to perhaps point out some details that we might have missed and according to the writer Elle's attacker is one of the characters we were introduced to....but you'll have to read for yourself to fully grasp and start unlocking this bold, new mystery!
Character shout out: Blake Robert Plangman aka Bobby

This is one member of the welcome wagon I'm ok with running into in a dark alley- HEY-O!

I give Mind the Gap 4.5 ghostly sheep heads

Guest Reviewer: Jeni Darling

Image Comics is a comic book and graphic novel publisher founded in 1992 by a collective of best-selling artists. Image has since gone on to become one of the largest comics publishers in the United States. Image currently has five partners: Robert Kirkman, Erik Larsen, Todd McFarlane, Marc Silvestri and Jim Valentino. It consists of five major houses: Todd McFarlane Productions, Top Cow Productions, Shadowline, Skybound and Image Central. Image publishes comics and graphic novels in nearly every genre, sub-genre, and style imaginable. It offers science fiction, romance, horror, crime fiction, historical fiction, humor and more by the finest artists and writers working in the medium today. For more information, visit www.imagecomics.com.

Creep Show Winners!!!!

Thanks to everyone who entered our Creep Show Halloween costume contest. We got some VERY unique entries and loved every second of it! The winners are announced below:

1. Killer (no really it could kill you!) Costume- Winner: Haley Johnson

2. Pimped out pet- Winner: Rox Lobster

3. Cutest Goblin Child- Winner: Roxanne Rhoads little ones. Roxanne Rhoads is also a Publicist for Entangled Publishing a Romance Author and Book Blogger! You can found more about her HERE.

All winners have been notified by email and will soon receive their Spooky Prizes in the mail. Some honorable mentions to the following folks for having some pretty amazing photos: Author Mike Lynch, Keira from LoveRomancePassion, Alaina, and Sullivan McPig!

Happy Halloween everyone!

Artwork from Jeni Darling and a thank you. :)

An amazing artist and close friend of mine, Jeni Darling, created this beautiful Holiday greeting card for us. We wanted a personalized card to not only send out to all the authors we have interviewed, but to also share with all of you. :)

The card depicts: Amber, Richard and me spreading the paranormal cheer to all the houses below. A team of sheep are pulling us along the journey while Richard cracks the Harry Potter whip. Not only is this card a lot of fun, but Amber and I look really cute doing our helper work.

In addition to wicked drawing skills, Jeni is also a phenomenal makeup artist

and aspiring photographer. Check out out her fabulous website:

http://www.wix.com/zombiedarling/jenidarlingphotography

Now the best part to all this is she has agreed to do a guest blog post for all of you. It will be a step by step of how to create your own ghoulish makeover! How cool!

Make sure to look for that coming up early next year. A big thank you once again to Jeni and all the hard work she put in for us. *kisses*

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to all of you. We thank you for all the love and support; the three of us could not do this blog without any of you. Take care of each other.

Sincerely;

Amber, Katie and Richard

"Because woodchucks can't be trusted."