But why, tho?
Can you imagine?! *shudder*
Showing posts with label pugs. Show all posts
Showing posts with label pugs. Show all posts
Sunday, August 7, 2016
Sunday, April 17, 2016
Winning the Internet this week...Pugs who can't even
Today it is all about the pugs :)
Pippin can’t even right now.
Pippin can’t even right now.
When your roommate brings home food...
Wednesday, October 14, 2015
Comic Review: BATTLEPUG – VOLUME 4 – THE DEVIL’S BISCUIT
Writer: Mike Norton
Artist: Mike Norton
Colorist: Allen Passalaqua
Cover Artist: Mike Norton
Dark Horse Comics
Genre: Humor, Fantasy, Action/Adventure
Publication Date: October 14, 2015
Format:FC, 72 pages; HC,
Age range:14
Publication Date: October 14, 2015
Format:FC, 72 pages; HC,
Age range:14
Preview
THE
BARBARIAN AND HIS BATTLEPUG COMPANION are a nearly unbeatable team, but after
one of his motley crew of adventurers goes missing, the last Kinmundian must
split off from his friends and journey, alone, into the heart of the den of the
pirate king to find him. The rest of the group must fend for themselves while
Catwulf’s ferocious forces hunt them down. But with a BATTLEPUG at their side,
they at least have a fighting chance!
......................................................................
Guest Reviewers: Toby the Pug and Queenie the Pug, co-owners of
author Dani Harper (who has negotiated for equal page space this time)
......................................................................
Queenie --- Like it says in the introduction, "come for the
pugs, stay for the adventure".
Dani --- I agree. Fans of eccentric
humor, and especially those who enjoy absurd mash-ups, will continue to be
charmed by Mike Norton’s Battlepug webcomic. This latest book, THE DEVIL'S BISCUIT, is number 4 in the
series, and continues the epic story with a collection of comics from the past
year. As always, the artwork continues to be stellar, the coloring beautifully
rendered, plus the panel layout is varied and interesting.
Queenie (sighing dramatically) --- It’s a pleasure to read this book
just for the visuals. That is one hunka hunka burning pug!
Toby --- You keep taking the book to your kennel! I want to
read it again!
Queenie --- I have seniority, I’m in charge of the book. You’ll just
get drool all over it.
Toby --- Ha! You’re the one who’s doing all the drooling!
Dani --- If you two will just focus on
the review, I promise I’ll get an extra copy so you each can have your own.
Deal?
Toby
and Queenie together --- “Deal.” *eye each other suspiciously just the same*
Dani --- All sweeping sagas have
mysteries to be solved, and the opening scene confronts us once again with what
just might prove to be the biggest mystery of all – our naked narrator, Moll.
Confined to a tower high above a sprawling city, the beautiful woman has only a
surly French bulldog (Colfax) and an affable pug (Mingo) for company.
Queenie --- Everyone knows, if you have a pug, you have it all.
Dani (muttering to herself) --- You
certainly have a lot of SOME things … sneezes in your face, all-night snoring, room-clearing
farts…
Toby --- I can’t hear you, you’re mumbling!
Dani (aloud) --- I was saying that you
two are the light of my life, of course! While it’s true that pug companionship
is very satisfying, this time we get a glimpse of secret sadness in Moll, a
heaviness of heart that surprises her canine companions. Nevertheless, she continues
to tell them the adventures of BATTLEPUG.
In case our
readers have forgotten, or if they're new to the story, the hero is the last
surviving member of the Kinmundian Tribe, known only as the Warrior. His
enthusiastic steed is the faithful and freakishly ginormous pug –
Toby --- SPRINKLES! His name is Sprinkles! I wish my name was
Sprinkles.
Queenie --- Ha! Your name should be Tinkles, the way you—
Dani --- Back on topic, guys! Anyway,
all the reader really has to do is picture Conan the Barbarian riding a pug the
size of an elephant in order to understand the quirky universe that Mike Norton
has created. Our nameless Kinmundian warrior is on a quest for vengeance against
his mortal enemy, Catwulf. Despite the hero’s desire for solitude on this
mission, he's attracted both a genuine Canis
Majoris and some unwanted followers. Book 3 showed us that, in spite of
himself, he’s learned to care about his motley crew. As Book 4 opens, we again
meet Scribbly, a crazy and mostly incoherent old hermit who nevertheless
manages to explain what's going on to both the Warrior and the reader.
Toby – And Bryony’s back! She’s the one who named Sprinkles.
Dani --- Good for you, Toby. You remembered.
*Toby sticks his
tongue out at Queenie when Dani’s not looking*
Dani --- Anyway, Bryony Bracken is a
little girl with enough powerful magic to control and command the plant world.
Queenie --- She has a powerful vocabulary too! She cusses like a
drunken sailor.
Dani --- That’s right, Queenie.
*Queenie makes a
face at Toby*
Dani --- Moving on. Book 4 picks up
where we left off in Book 3, with our heroes in a massive forest noted for
unsavory characters. And sure enough, a band of thieves wander by talking loudly
about the pirate king, Callistus, who will be attending the great Pirate Fest
in the next town. Our heroes are captured –
Queenie --- And then they’re saved by a brand new character, Leighmin,
a plant wizard like Bryony! Have you noticed that people come and go all the
time in this story?
Dani --- True enough. In fact, Scribbly
disappears during the struggle and
can’t be found. Meanwhile, the new plant wizard reveals himself as a guide and
mentor. Our heroes are used to a certain amount of weirdness by now. But
they're unprepared to hear that they must split up and follow separate paths for
a while. So for the first time since he met the big lug of a pug, the
Kinmundian will have to leave his faithful steed behind.
Toby --- That part made me sad! *Snuffles loudly into the couch cushions*
Dani --- But first, he charges
Sprinkles with the very important task of guarding Bryony, who has a destiny of
her own to fulfill. And we know that the giant pug and little wizard girl will
look after each other, right Toby?
Toby --- *Still
snuffling* Yeah, I guess so. *Blows
nose loudly, then farts. Looks around to see where the noise came from…*
Dani (gasping as she opens a window) ---
Cough, cough, cough… So the Warrior
walks to the Pirate Fest, blending in with some stolen clothes—
Queenie --- Ha! It’s a wonder he knew how to put them on. Apparently
it's the first time he's worn pants since he was a kid.
Dani --- The important thing is that he
spots Scribbly in the crowd and tries to follow him. A gang of thugs descend on
the cape-covered old man, only to be beaten off by the Warrior. But it isn't
Scribbly under the cape! Instead, it's a very small armor-clad human who
introduces himself as Jangles the Lesser.
Queenie --- What did I just tell you? People come and go all the
time in this story.
Toby--- Yeah, Jangles says he put on a cursed helmet that would
make him live forever. But instead—
Dani --- NO SPOILERS! In fact, we’ve
already said too much. What we can
say, however, is that from this point on, the plot gets REALLY complicated.
Toby --- I’ll say! It made my brain hurt!
Queenie --- Everything makes YOUR brain hurt.
Toby --- Well, it’s not just me. Mingo’s brain got BROKEN in
this story!
Dani --- Yes, well, that’s because THE DEVIL’S BISCUIT is true to its
predecessors in the series. The pacing is just as fast and furious. It contains
some amazing plot twists that none of us saw coming, plus some shocking
revelations. There’s always a cliffhanger ending, of course –
Toby --- AND THIS ONE’S REALLY AWESOME! *runs madly in circles*
Dani --- Okay, I admit, it’s pretty
good.
Toby --- *still
running* I can’t WAIT, I can’t WAIT, I can’t WAIT for the last book! I
wanna know what HAPPENED! *crashes into
the side of the couch and falls over*
Dani --- Is he okay?
Queenie --- Yeah, he’s breathing, he’s fine. *kicks a couch cushion over Toby * What I want to know is how the writer’s going to resolve all this stuff with
only one more book?
Dani --- I don’t know. And maybe Mike
Norton doesn’t know yet either. He said
he originally planned five books, but now? We’ll just have to see. In the
meantime, I’m giving Book 4, THE DEVIL’S
BISCUIT,
4 “I’ll-put-on-a-frilly-dress-and-dance-around-your-corpses”
sheep.
Queenie --- Are you kidding me? It has pugs! It even has a pug
MOUNTAIN this time! Automatic five!
Toby (from under the couch cushion) --- Yeah, it should
be five!
Dani (sighing) --- We have this
argument every time we review a Battlepug book. Look, if we were reviewing it for
a pug audience, it would be five. But we’re reviewing this for humans, so it
gets four.
Toby --- I’ll bet if the Battlepug was here, you’d give it a TEN!
Dani --- Okay, that’s probably true.
Tell you what, I’ll give FIVE “pug-kisses-are-totally-unavoidable” sheep to the
bonus pages in this book. There’s a fun collection of the Warrior and the
Battlepug drawn by over a dozen guest artists.
*Toby farts again. Dani and Queenie flee the
building…*
* * * * *
Battlepug Facebook Page - https://www.facebook.com/Battlepug-The-Web-Comic-123886081014933/timeline/
Battlepug Website (read the comic daily,
check out Mike Norton’s blog, and buy cool stuff - http://battlepug.com/
Battlepug 4: THE DEVIL’S BISCUIT – buy
link on Amazon –http://amzn.to/1VSxr77
Thursday, October 23, 2014
Comic Review: Battlepug: Sit, Stay, Die! Volume 3
Writer:Mike Norton
Artist:Mike Norton
Colorist:Allen Passalaqua
Cover Artist:Mike Norton
Genre: Action/Adventure, Fantasy, Humor
Dark Horse Comics
Genre: Action/Adventure, Fantasy, Humor
Dark Horse Comics
Publication Date: October 29, 2014
Format:FC, 72 Pages; HC, 12" x 8.5"
Price:$14.99
Age range:14
ISBN-10:1-61655-594-7ISBN-13:978-1-61655-594-8
The Last Kinmundian and his trusty Battlepug have survived many trials on their way to confront the evil beast mage known as Catwulf, but their encounter with the Dead Walker may be their last. The third installment of this Eisner-award winning-webcomic sees our heroes climbing to the very brink of death. Will they slip over the edge?Battlepug Volume 3: Sit. Stay. Die! collects the entire third year of the webcomic hit, Battlepug, and includes exclusive bonus material!
********************************
Guest Reviewers Toby the Pug and Queenie the Pug, co-owners of author Dani Harper (who may or may not get a word in edgewise)
TOBY – “I wanted to say that! I’m the one who’s done a review before, so I should get to talk FIRST!”
QUEENIE - “Pfft! I’m more than twice your age, so I have seniority. Plus we’re in a hurry, because it’s HALFTIME, people! This is already the THIRD of five planned books.”
TOBY – “Five? Only five?” *counts on his front toes* “Um, um, Volume 1 was “Blood and Drool”, and, um, Volume 2 was “This Savage Bone”. And so this one makes, um, three – OMIGOSH THERE’S ONLY TWO TOES LEFT!” *runs in panicked circles*
QUEENIE – “That’s because there are pugs in the story, of course. You’d think more writers would take the hint. Why, if a pug had been written into the script for The Lone Ranger, it would have pushed the movie into Oscar territory.”
TOBY – “I’ll bet the awards don’t matter to Mr. Norton. He probably created Battlepug because it’s FUN.”
Dani Harper – “He’s certainly very talented. The story keeps rolling out zany surprises as it reveals more about the characters. And the quality of the artwork continues to be amazing.”
QUEENIE – “Pugs are excellent subjects. Including them elevates practically anything into an art form and—”
TOBY – “I have a Battlepug t-shirt!”
QUEENIE – “I keep telling you it’s for people – that’s why it doesn’t fit right. And stop interrupting me.”
TOBY – “Stop being bossy. I told you, I’m the one who’s reviewed before, so I get to talk! Battlepug is about a barbarian on a quest to find the villain who destroyed his people. And instead of a horse, he rides a giant noble pug –
QUEENIE – “Did you notice that nobody knows the name of the warrior?”
TOBY – “But we know the name of the pug! That’s the important part. He’s big and brave and his name is Sprinkles! And he has a mighty battle cry: BRAP! BRAP! BRAP! BRAP!” *leaps wildly across the furniture*
QUEENIE – “And we know the names of the friends that the warrior and his pug have made along the way – “
TOBY – *still bounding along the top of the couch* “BRAP! BRAP! BRAP!”
QUEENIE – “There’s the old man, Scribbly, and the little girl, Bryony, and the swordmaster, Black Sasha.”
TOBY – *panting* “And the best thing of all? The BESTEST thing? Sprinkles isn’t the only pug!”
Dani Harper – “That’s true. The whole story is being woven by a voluptuous girl named Moll who seems to be a prisoner in a high tower. She never wears anything except her henna tattoos and her only companions are a French bulldog named Colfax, and a pug named Mingo.”
TOBY – “I like Mingo. Colfax is a meanie.”
QUEENIE – “You said that last time. I read your review.”
TOBY – “Well, it’s even more true now. But there’s way cool stuff in this book too. The Warrior and his faithful Battlepug are up against this guy with a whole army of skeletons, and then the monster weasels come! And you’ve got to see the Skull Monkey!“
QUEENIE – “Let’s not forget there are some truly profound lessons in this story about magic and the importance of keeping the balance.”
TOBY – “And then we learn about PILLOWS! I had no idea they were so dangerous!”
QUEENIE – “Riiight.” *hides a pillow behind her back* “But let’s not give everything away – we don’t want to spoil it for the readers.”
Dani Harper – “I think it’s safe to say this book contains a critical turning point for the Warrior. He suddenly realizes that his desire for revenge isn’t the most important thing anymore.”
TOBY – “And then there was the gigantic – and then, BAM, the— the— fuzzy…wanna…zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.”
QUEENIE – *removes pillow from Toby’s face* “I SAID we weren’t going to give away the story!”
Dani Harper – *confiscates pillow* “Ahem. We need to tell people that they can Like Battlepug on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/pages/Battlepug-The-Web-Comic/123886081014933. And if they want to read the strip as it’s created, they can check out Mr. Norton’s commentary and maybe even shop in the Battlepug store at http://battlepug.com/ ” *shakes Toby awake*
TOBY – “Wha – what? Where were we?”
Dani Harper – *whispering* “It’s time for the rating, give the rating!”
TOBY – “Four thumbs up!”
QUEENIE – “I knew he wouldn’t do it right. We’re on I Smell Sheep – they don’t use thumbs! And why isn’t it five? The book’s got TWO pugs! That puts it practically off the scale.”
Dani Harper – “Sorry, but we’ve had this conversation before. It’s not fair to non-pugs, and we want to be known as balanced reviewers.”
TOBY – “Yeah!” *sticks tongue out at Queenie* “So it gets four ‘who’s a giant dead skull monkey killer?’ sheep!” *whispers* “But pugs will know it’s really worth a five, right?”
Dani Harper and QUEENIE – “Right!”
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