GtPGKogPYT4p61R1biicqBXsUzo" /> Google+ Prince of Persia, it cost money to see this? | I Smell Sheep

Sunday, May 30, 2010

Prince of Persia, it cost money to see this?

Oh wait! I've seen this movie its called The Mummy! No? Ok, then its called National Treasure! No again? Ok, how about Indiana Jones Temple of Doom! No? Lost Arc?
I swear I've seen this before.....hhhhmmm *light bulb going off

Starting my actual review now, Prince of Persia directed by Mike Newell and staring Jake Gyllenhaal (jill-en-hall) as our hunky eye candy Dastan, Gemma Arterton (who could double as Data's sister from STTNG) as Princess Tamina, and Sir Ben Kingsley (not sure if I can forgive you for this on Ben) as Nizam.
I would like to take this time to point out that so far all these characters are of Caucasian decent, and 2 out of the 3 talk in this movie as in real life, with an English accent. I mean was this all Hollywood could come up with? Are we as a nation that afraid of seeing middle eastern actors on screen in the US? A debate for another day perhaps but for now, lets all say together...P-E-R-S-I-A. Say it with me now, come on guys, PERSIA. :)
I think the powers at be decided it would be a really swell idea to raid a halloween superstore! (ok I am totally guilty of that too) Throw a bunch of half-rate low budget wigs on these actors and just call it a day. Look now their Persian! I can hear it now, "Hey just pull out those cheap wigs for these guys Tom and get this movie made baby! Now action!"
Stunts in this movie were so freakin corny I was cracking up non stop, and the hits just kept coming. I mean of course every time you need an exact length of rope to jump off a roof while escaping the bad guys, it just happens to be there. I mean duh.
Jake, baby, your hot but honey your not that hot. I didn't buy any of it. No deal. Your acting sucked and your stunts were even worse. Was that really the best accent you could come up with? Give it up to your stunt double though. Just you stand there and look pretty sweetie. Smile and wave boys, just smile and wave. :)
Gemma, why don't you ever have facial expressions? Is it a medical issue? Come on. This was the same character from Clash of The Titans (which also sucked) and I am just not feeling it. Give me some depth in your work, be an actress. Believe you can fly! Believe you can touch the sky! *dang now i want to hear that song.
Alfred Molina played the character of Sheik Amar, a bad rip off of Jake Sparrow from Pirates of the Caribbean. Sorry dude you just cant fill those shoes, Johnny's got it on lock!
Green Screen. Man on man this movie was over the top with the green screen action, you couldn't even pretend it was real. Fake and fake and shake and bake. And I have so seen this set at Epcot in Florida, walked thorough it in fact. Glad to know Disney spared no expense on this one. Ata-boy.
If by now your still unsure about my review let me spell it out, this movie bombed the big one. Pass it up and watch The Mummy, at least Brandon Fraiser is funny. Sorry you had to pay for this one V, I got you next time.

1 comment:

  1. I really wanted this movie to be good! I played through the game that it is based on and thought that the story was fairly compelling. Like most game -> movie translations, I guess something was lost.