Movie Review: Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters (2013)

Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters (2013) 
R, 1 hr. 40 min. 
Action & Adventure, Comedy 
Directed By: Tommy Wirkola 
Stars: Jeremy Renner, Gemma Arterton, Famke Janssen and Peter Stormare 
In Theaters: Jan 25, 2013 Wide 
Paramount Pictures/MGM 

official website 

After getting a taste for blood as children, Hansel (Jeremy Renner) and Gretel (Gemma Arterton) have become the ultimate vigilantes, hell bent on retribution. Now, unbeknownst to them, Hansel and Gretel have become the hunted, and must face an evil far greater than witches...their past. -- (C) Paramount 

Witches, trolls, and Jeremy Renner under my bed… OH MY! This is a fun and entertaining movie. Yeah, it has some flaws, like convenient diabetes, but overall it is a sensory overload of action and snark.

I like the way they used the original fairy tale up to the point where the kids throw the witch into the oven, there's even a candy house. Then the movie takes it from there, adding a new twist as to why Hansel and Gretel were left and what happens to them afterwards. They become a pair of famous witch hunters, but Muriel the black witch (Femke Janssen) has waited a long time to get her hands on these two.

don't make her angry...

you wouldn't like her when she gets angry!

There is a weird mixing of time periods. The town has a medieval motif, but Hansel and Gretel have some pretty advanced weaponry like a rapid fire cross bow (yes, I want one) and a Gatling gun, as well as shotguns. And these two can take a beating! There is over the top violence and Hansel loves the “F” word, which is probably why it got an R rating, but we brought our 11 year old daughter (I know, parenting fail) and she LOVED it.

The witches are bad ass and fly on large tree branches, which I thought was pretty cool, but Gemma Arterton as Gretel was a little hard for me to believe. She is just too pretty compared to the rest of the cast and looked much younger than Jeremy’s Hansel, but I was able to overlook that once the action started. There were many predictable one liners, but they were still funny as hell and lots of visual jokes as well, such as old fashion milk bottles that have hand drawn missing children posters tied to them.
The theater where we saw it only had it in 3-D. I am not impressed with 3-D and don’t think it is worth the extra money, but if you enjoy that experience there are some pretty cool effects. Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters is a rocking action movie as long as you don’t take it to serious and is worth a matinee price for sure.

4 “don’t eat the eff-ing candy!” Sheep

Sharon Stogner (edit by Kalpar)