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Thursday, January 26, 2012

Sheep Movie Review: Haywire

Don’t you hate it when the previews are better than the movie? I'm afraid that with Haywire the movie's trailer has written a check the movie simply didn't or couldn't cash. I know that might sound a little harsh, and maybe I went in with the wrong expectations, but I was very disappointed with the movie in general.

Let me begin by saying I was excited about this film after seeing the trailer. I was expecting an action film with the added bonus of a female action hero that not only kicks ass on the screen, but can do it in real life too! Gina Carano, who plays ex-marine Mallory Kane, was a MMA champion who started her fighting career in the sport of Muay Thai. I figured her action scenes would be top notch and without a stunt double. To be fair this was one of the few things that I enjoyed about the film. The fight scenes were realistic and well-choreographed, but there weren’t many of them and that was pretty much it for the action part of the movie. The movie is more about the betrayal of Mallory Kane by her boss and how she uncovers the plot rather than the action. To be honest the plot of the movie isn’t even about her, really she is just a pawn in someone else’s game and becomes a lose end that needs tying up.

I was also thrilled with the stellar lineup of Michael Douglas, Bill Paxton, Ewan McGregor and Antonio Banderas. They were cast right for their parts, but Douglas and Banderas didn’t get much screen time, which is a freaking shame 'cause Banderas makes for a great movie going experience! Bill Paxton plays Mallory’s father, but his role really wasn’t that pertinent to the plot. He helps hide Mallory from the bad guys but little else so I felt much of the character's potential was wasted. Ewan plays a great asshole by the way.

My basic problem with the movie was the weak plot which lacked the driving emotional conflict you get with most action/spy movies. I didn’t feel invested in any of the characters, except one who had a small role and gave us our one look into Mallory’s feelings about the lifestyle she has chosen. There were no real surprises or twists. Telling the story in a series of fragmented flashbacks ultimately left me more confused about who was doing what and why.

And let’s not even get me started on the music during the action scenes…and I am quoting my husband on this one “it sounds like it comes from a 1975 Shaft movie”. (Kalpar: Shaft is one bad motherfu- Kalpar: I'm just talking about the Shaft.) One last comment, I have no problem with a close up of someone running to catch the bad guy, but if I start to think about what I need to get at the grocery store, then it is too long.

I felt like I wasted my money on this one and I wouldn’t even want to spend $1 for the rental. If you are wondering if you will feel the same way I did, take into consideration I spent most the movie wishing I was next door in the IMAX Theater watching Underworld in 3-D. Our theater was vibrating from that one and you better believe I will be there this coming weekend! 

2 “OMG, there is a deer in the car!” Sheep

SharonS (edited by BAK)


  1. I can be a total action whore. BUT give me a script that can hold it all together. When so much is lacking in a film it puts all the hard work in the fight scenes to shame. Very sad.

    And such a badass chick who should have gotten a better spotlight in film.

  2. To be honest this movie never really "called" to me anyways, but thanks to this review i definitely know now that i was correct in saving my money for more important things.. like books, moonpies and koolaid!!

    1. yes, save up for moon pies! I love a good action movie and the trailer made it look like one. Meanie marketing people

  3. I admit I only wanted to see this for Fassbender :)

  4. Incredible cast, fun premise, lots of guns and shooting and kicking ###, I so wanted to see this and was chomping at the bit! UNTIL my son came home after spending his hard earned shekels on the late show incredibly disappointed and bemoaning the fact he talked a group of friends into going to see it.