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Saturday, August 9, 2014

Sheep Movie Review: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Teenage Mutant Ninja Trutles
Directed by: Jonathan Liebesman 
Cast: Megan Fox, Will Arnett, William Fichtner, Whoopi Goldberg, Alan Ritchson (Raph voice), Johnny Knoxville (Leo voice), Noel Fisher (Mikey voice), Jeremy Howard (Don voice) 

The city needs heroes. Darkness has settled over New York City as Shredder and his evil Foot Clan have an iron grip on everything from the police to the politicians. The future is grim until four unlikely outcast brothers rise from the sewers and discover their destiny as Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. The Turtles must work with fearless reporter April O'Neil (Megan Fox) and her wise-cracking cameraman Vern Fenwick (Will Arnett) to save the city and unravel Shredder's diabolical plan. 

TMNT was produced by my next baby daddy, Michael Bay. I love this guy. He gets crap sometimes for being over the top and having lifeless characters. Sure, both are true. I can usually overlook anything for this man and his action orgasm genius, but even this die-hard fangirl can not in my right mind get behind this sewage disaster. 

I paid 33$ for 2 movies tickets, plus popcorn and a drink. I was robbed. All be it I willingly walked into this robbery, but that does nothing to soften the jagged and wet blanket feeling script that was forced down my throat. 

Let's not even get started on the amount of ad placement in the film. This is becoming ridiculous, not just in this film. I hate it. 

Megan Fox is a lot cause. She just can't act to save her life. I've never had any real opinion one way or the other about her, but now I do. She's not great. Very one dimensional. I would rather see her in something made for tv movieish, like Sharknado. But even then, she would hopefully get killed by a flying shark. It's time to find a new profession. 

I've loved the TNMT franchise since the 90's. I own all the movies still to this day. I can do some Ninja Rap dancing with Vanilla Ice till the sheep come home. But I can not recommend this dull and impersonal piece of sludge. It's oozing the green slime like snot! 

The only real saving grace here was the action and effects. The fight scenes were fast paced fun and wild, if completely nonsensical. Some silly snark turtle jokes kept me from throwing things at the screen, plus the 8 year old kids happy face in the seat next to me. The things we do for our kids! Sheesh! Happily, there were also no noticeable cuss words which I did appreciate. 

Overall, watch the original ninja turtles movie or read one of the comics. This one is maybe a dollar rental or even a free watch when it hits cable tv. But do not waste your time and money on a train wreck bloated with action and missing the core of what the turtles are. 

Getting 2 Sheep 


  1. Lol, love your review Katie! I haven't seenTMNT, was debating whether to watch or not but after reading your review I definitely won't and glad I didn't. Man, what you wrote about Megan Fox had me snorting water out my nose! You're hilarious! :D

    1. I REALLY wanted to like this movie. I will still watch this types of remakes but come on, if you're going to remake a classic then do it better! I hope you do see it, at some point, and I'd love to hear what you thought :)

  2. I hadn't planned on seeing this one, just not my type of movie.

    1. I've never seen any of the movies...but I was hoping this one would be fun.

  3. My brother was in the original Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie. He played the young Shredder (unmasked) in his younger years when Splinter was recollecting the murder of his master.

  4. Utterly inessential, this slightly cheap-looking reboot of the Turtles franchise is froth too — it might even be too tame for the kids who make up the target audience.