GtPGKogPYT4p61R1biicqBXsUzo" /> Google+ Sexy Don't Need A Head A Romance Mad-Lib by Gregory L. Hall + giveaway | I Smell Sheep

Wednesday, October 15, 2014

Sexy Don't Need A Head A Romance Mad-Lib by Gregory L. Hall + giveaway

No gourds were hurt in this photo...
Greg however sustained minor injuries,
but he didn't need that ear anyway.
When I Smell Sheep first asked me to contribute a guest posting I was intimidated. I mean they’re one of the leading websites in the entire free world. And they’re best known for their coverage of romance novels—a genre I hardly know. Still, I thought I’d give it my best shot. I may not read much romance but I do see a ton of the book covers. Shirtless men with perfect abs and chiseled chests. Oh, and there is one other commonality. I decided to concentrate on that for my own story but because I’m such a novice, I’m asking for your help filling in the blanks.


SEXY DON’T NEED A HEAD
(Story of a Romance Novel Model)
By Gregory L. Hall

Cindy always thought of herself as a strong, independent and (adjective) woman. Sure, she may not be as (adjective) as she was in her college years, but now at thirty, no man could deny her sassy attitude and (other phrase for ‘sexy curves’). Moving to (favorite city) was a major decision but she was never one to shy away from a (noun).

On her first day she immediately sought out expensive shoe stores. Because ladies love shoes like a crack addict loves (word that rhymes with ‘snack’). She found a place called Orange Is the New (rhyme with ‘orange’). And inside she found the most gorgeous (adjective) (bonus adjective) shoe salesman EVER. The second she stared into his (favorite part of the human anatomy) she was lost in steamy fantasy.

“Hello. My name is Derek. How can I serve you today?” his deep velvety voice said.

“Hi! I’m Cindy. I’d love to put my (noun) in your (nouns).”

He flashed a grin that made her heart (verb). “I think I can help you with that. From a quick glance I’m guessing the size of your (noun) is rather petite.”

Derek guided Cindy to a nearby chair and sat her down. He knelt before her, gently cupped the back of her calf and stretched her leg out until it almost touched his (anything but ‘nose’ because that’s gross in any novel). Something about him was familiar. She knew him. But how could that be? She had just moved to the city, as was mentioned in the first paragraph if you were paying attention.

Her leg slipped from his grasp and her toes caught his partially unbuttoned shirt, tearing it all the way open. He stood up and backed away, giving her full view of his (adjective) chest and (if you were honest you’d put ‘air-brushed’) six-pack abs.

“How embarrassing! I’m almost shirtless. Although this is completely random and accidental, you must be so offended!”

He put a shoebox across his face to hide his shame--- and that was all Cindy needed. With no head, she knew exactly who he was. The perfect man on the cover of her favorite romance novels. She read them all—(favorite writer), (favorite writer), (favorite writer) and (Gregory L. Hall). Derek was the fantasy lover on each and every book. He was even (adjective- er) in person.

“I don’t want to be forward,” she said with a sexy purr. “But you’re a male model, aren’t you? I’m your (adjective) fan.”

Derek lowered the shoebox and stood shocked. “You know my work? Well, not really my work. I only do it to put myself through (occupation) school.”

“You want to be a (noun)? Just when I thought you couldn’t be more perfect.” Cindy was glowing like a (noun) but didn’t hide it. “How about you slide that shoe back on my (body part) and let me take you to lunch.”

“I’d like that.” he said as he tore the rest of the shirt from his (adjective) torso. “You make me hungry. Hungry for (noun).”

Although they had to find a place that didn’t enforce the ‘No Shirt, No (noun), No Service’ rule, Cindy didn’t care. She was with her fantasy man and he was with her. She led him to a hot dog stand she passed when she was walking to his store. He had a diet soda water and a plate of lettuce to keep his (noun) so buff. As the soon-to-be recipient of his buffitude, Cindy had no such restraint. She ordered a (favorite number of inches) long hot dog.

There’s no need to go into detail but yes, you know how Cindy’s fairy tale romance ended. Derek came back to her apartment where they spent the rest of the day (verbing), (verbing), (verbing), (verbing), (verbing), (verbing), (verbing), (verbing), (verbing), (verbing), (verbing), (verbing), took a brief break and then went back to (verbing), (verbing) and (verbing) until the next morn.

Rolling over in her bed, Derek stared into her (adjective or number) eyes. “I think I’ve fallen in love with you, Cindy.”

“I hope so, you gorgeous (bonus adjective) man-sickle.” she whispered back to him as she kissed the tip of his perfect (here you can use ‘nose’). She held up a pair of pink suede gold metallic ankle boots. “I stole these from your store. Because as any real woman knows, it’s always about the shoes.”


Check out Gregory L. Hall's latest release if you like a little humor with your horror...or the other way around.

Everyone Hates A Hero: A Johnny Midnight Tale
September 9, 2014
by Gregory L. Hall
Who wouldn’t want to be JOHNNY MIDNIGHT? He’s a superstar paranormal investigator, self-proclaimed sex symbol and professional bad boy. When he’s not grabbing huge TV ratings chasing chupacabras, he’s on the Hollywood red carpet with a gorgeous starlet. But he knows his life in the spotlight is all a show. He longs for the days before Johnny Midnight. Be careful what you wish for… Five years before he became the ‘Elvis of the Paranormal World’, he left girlfriend Dana Amato at the altar. Now she’s reluctantly returned, with her four year old daughter. A little girl who is at the center of something dark and evil. Armed only with comical bravado, his ABBA CD and a gadget-filled walking cane, Johnny must face down nightmarish demons: Those from his past. And the one that wants to rip out his soul.

About the Author:
Funky Werepig radio show www.tmvcafe.com
Funky Werepig FB page

Gregory L Hall has a long history in comedy, improv and theatre. He’s a national Telly Award winner and produced the annual Baltimore Comedy Fest to support autism awareness. To many folks, he’s best known as host of the popular radio show ‘The Funky Werepig’. His imagination can be found running amuck in his novels At the End of Church Street and Johnny Midnight Tales as well as numerous other publications. The biggest highlight of his career remains the time Pat Morita (Mr. Miyagi from the Karate Kid) hugged him on a movie set. Yeah. Top that.

GIVEAWAY
A Mystery Romantic Werepig Gift Basket of Love
One US winner will win a basket of...?
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10 comments:

  1. I really (verb) this article. I think Greg is a (adjective).

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  2. Wow, make sure he doesn't take up romance writing :)

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  3. I can't believe the (adjective) grasp this astute gentleman has on the genre! Runs and hides lickety spit from the stones being thrown my way LOL This was a wonderful post that had me almost on the floor with side splitting laughter. Thank you so very much for making me smile - gets back in the game with machete in hand anticipating some serious head lopping :)

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  4. Ha! Enjoyable read to begin my work day…thx for that! Good luck with the new book!

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  5. hahahaha. Trying to get off the floor where I was rolling around...

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  6. that was too fun! I think he should write some more mad libs. LOL

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    Replies
    1. Don't temp him, he will . He is one of the funniest guys online.

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  7. That was (verb)! I can't believe anyone could do that much (adjective) (adjective) (adjective) (adjective)....especially after only eating a plate of lettuce!!!

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  8. Go at it! Just don't expect a RITA on your first try LOL

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