Winner of the Romance Mad-Lib (original post), hand picked by Gregory L. Hall...
Congrats to Denise. Here is her winning entry...
SEXY DON’T NEED A HEAD
(Story of a Romance Novel Model)
By Gregory L. Hall
Cindy always thought of herself as a strong, independent and (feisty) woman. Sure, she may not be as (skinny) as she was in her college years, but now at thirty, no man could deny her sassy attitude and (buxom beauty). Moving to (Flavorville City) was a major decision but she was never one to shy away from a (good buffet).
On her first day she immediately sought out expensive shoe stores. Because ladies love shoes like a crack addict loves (a fever blister pack). She found a place called Orange Is the New (Forage). And inside she found the most gorgeous (hot-diggity) (beefcake-a-licious) shoe salesman EVER. The second she stared into his (heat filled eyes) she was lost in steamy fantasy.
“Hello. My name is Derek. How can I serve you today?” his deep velvety voice said.
“Hi! I’m Cindy. I’d love to put my (um feet) in your (shoes).”
He flashed a grin that made her heart (quake). “I think I can help you with that. From a quick glance I’m guessing the size of your (big toe) is rather petite.”
Derek guided Cindy to a nearby chair and sat her down. He knelt before her, gently cupped the back of her calf and stretched her leg out until it almost touched his (manly pecs). Something about him was familiar. She knew him. But how could that be? She had just moved to the city, as was mentioned in the first paragraph if you were paying attention.
Her leg slipped from his grasp and her toes caught his partially unbuttoned shirt, tearing it all the way open. He stood up and backed away, giving her full view of his (well tanned) chest and (chiseled) six-pack abs.
“How embarrassing! I’m almost shirtless. Although this is completely random and accidental, you must be so offended!”
He put a shoebox across his face to hide his shame--- and that was all Cindy needed. With no head, she knew exactly who he was. The perfect man on the cover of her favorite romance novels. She read them all—(Laurell K. Hamilton), (Lizzy Ford), (Karen Marie Moning) and (Gregory L. Hall). Derek was the fantasy lover on each and every book. He was even (hunkier) in person.
“I don’t want to be forward,” she said with a sexy purr. “But you’re a male model, aren’t you? I’m your (biggest) fan.”
Derek lowered the shoebox and stood shocked. “You know my work? Well, not really my work. I only do it to put myself through (medical) school.”
“You want to be a (doctor)? Just when I thought you couldn’t be more perfect.” Cindy was glowing like a (dewy rose) but didn’t hide it. “How about you slide that shoe back on my (happy feet) and let me take you to lunch.”
“I’d like that.” he said as he tore the rest of the shirt from his (manly) torso. “You make me hungry. Hungry for (a nice big bite).”
Although they had to find a place that didn’t enforce the ‘No Shirt, No (Beefcake), No Service’ rule, Cindy didn’t care. She was with her fantasy man and he was with her. She led him to a hot dog stand she passed when she was walking to his store. He had a diet soda water and a plate of lettuce to keep his (manly torso) so buff. As the soon-to-be recipient of his buffitude, Cindy had no such restraint. She ordered a (foot) long hot dog.
There’s no need to go into detail but yes, you know how Cindy’s fairy tale romance ended. Derek came back to her apartment where they spent the rest of the day (boffing), (giggling), (showering), (boffing), (chugging 5-hour energy), (boffing some more), (checking the condoms for pin holes), (showering again), (exploring all the delicate bits), (kissing), (admiring his many covers on the books at the bedside), (boffing), took a brief break and then went back to (boffing), (napping) and (snoring) until the next morn.
Rolling over in her bed, Derek stared into her (azure) eyes. “I think I’ve fallen in love with you, Cindy.”
“I hope so, you gorgeous (hunk-a-licious) man-sickle.” she whispered back to him as she kissed the tip of his perfect (earlobe). She held up a pair of pink suede gold metallic ankle boots. “I stole these from your store. Because as any real woman knows, it’s always about the shoes.”