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Monday, May 2, 2022

Bizarro Crime Horror Story: Absolute Unit by Nick Kolakowski

by Nick Kolakowski
July 29, 2021
Genre: Humorous Dark Comedy, Horror Comedy, Literary Satire Fiction
141 pages
Absolute Unit is a dark carnival ride through the underside of the American Dream, where hustlers and parasites fight to survive against gun-toting furries, sarcastic drug kingpins, old ladies who are startlingly good with knives, and angry ex-girlfriends. It’s a hardboiled slice of modern American horror that asks the deepest question of all: Is the human race worth saving?

Bill is a nobody, a health inspector who’s not above taking a few dollars to overlook a restaurant’s mouse problem, and hated by nearly everyone except his long-suffering girlfriend. His nephew, Trent, isn’t much better: sexually and morally confused, he’s probably the worst teenage con artist on the East Coast. But today, these two losers are going to become the most important people in the world.

That’s because Bill and Trent harbor a sentient parasite with a sarcastic sense of humor and a ravenous appetite. As the parasite figures out how to control its new human hosts, the focus of its desires grows from delicious cheeseburgers and beer to something much darker and more dangerous.

The apocalypse might come from within us…

Proudly represented by Crystal Lake Publishing—Tales from the Darkest Depths.

 “[This] bizarro crime horror story is a friggin’ blast, packed chock full of comedy, outrageousness, and violence.”—Michael Patrick Hicks, author of The Resurrectionists

“Action packed, gory, and hilarious. I loved it!” – Michelle Garza
“Gritty action, a unique narrator and lots of humor make this an absurdly fun-to-read novella. Absolute Unit was a fun, fast-paced mashup of horror, sci-fi and gritty thriller, and I had a blast reading it.”—Books, Bones, and Buffy

“…takes the basic concept of a thriller, dials up the body horror, and puts a blackly comedic twist on the whole thing, the end result being uniquely entertaining and gleefully bonkers.”— Richard Martin, Horror Oasis
About the Author:
Nick Kolakowski's work has appeared in The Washington Post, McSweeney's, Washington City Paper, Thuglit, Shotgun Honey, North American Review, The Evergreen Review, and Rust & Moth, among other venues. He lives in New York City.

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