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Wednesday, May 2, 2012

Sheep Movie Review: Battleship directed by Peter Berg

We have guest reviewer and Nerd, Paddy, sharing his thoughts on Battleship. Stay tuned for Katie's (man-candy) review once it opens in the States.

Battleship (12a)
Directed by: Peter Berg
Starring: Alexander Skarsgård, Brooklyn Decker and Liam Neeson
Running time: 131mins
Peter Berg ('Hancock') produces and directs 'Battleship,' an epic action-adventure that unfolds across the seas, in the skies and over land as our planet fights for survival against a superior force. Based on Hasbro's classic naval combat game, 'Battleship' stars Taylor Kitsch as Lt. Alex Hopper, a Naval officer assigned to the USS John Paul Jones; Brooklyn Decker as Sam Shane, a physical therapist and Hopper's fiancee; Alexander Skarsgard as Hopper's older brother, Stone, Commanding Officer of the USS Sampson; Rihanna as Petty Officer Raikes, Hopper's crewmate and a weapons specialist on the USS John Paul Jones; and international superstar Liam Neeson as Hopper and Stone's superior (and Sam's father), Admiral Shane.

IT’S been a disappointing start to the blockbuster season this year. John Carter, while not necessarily a bad film, underperformed and Wrath Of The Titans was somehow even more wretched than the first.

It’s fair to say that expectations are not exactly high for Battleship, a blockbuster based on a board game was never going to set the bar highly, but even that doesn’t excuse what we’re presented with here.

Playing like Battle: Los Angeles mixed with Transformers at sea, there’s nothing in here this is anything but a complete cliche.

The story, if you could call it that, centres on an alien fleet that intercepts a satellite message from Earth and decides to come here and throw their weight about. They obviously didn’t count on the sheer bravery and slow motion heroics of the brave boys and girls of the US Navy.
Anyone who has ever had a thought in their head will see through this mess of a film that feels like it has been made by committee.

While it’s never as bad as Michael Bay’s appalling Transformers films, it runs it fairly close at times. If there is any enjoyment to be had it’s in the action scenes that are admittedly impressive. Unfortunately they aren’t enough when you’re presented with one dimensional characters and a storyline that feels like it’s been written on the back of a beermat.

The cast are all perfunctory to say the least, with Liam Neeson continuing his run of dire movies that began with Taken and continued with low brow fare like The A-Team and Unknown.

Battleship fails to hit the target and sadly sinks without trace.

1 1/2 Sheep

Paddy Ryan-head over to for more Nerd-tastic reviews from Paddy and the rest of the Nerds.


  1. Glad I didn't waste my money to go see the movie.

  2. Bummer. I thought it would be better. I can't wait till Katie's man candy review. Maybe it would be worth watching for some hot men. (;

  3. I had doubts about this, so thanks for solidifying! Wont be stopping in to see it. thanks!

  4. With all the man candy in this one I'll be there! Things that go hubba-hubba and boom blow my hair back! Stop the man hate Paddy! ;)

  5. Boo. I was (cautiously) looking forward to this movie. Guess I'll Netflix it instead of seeing it in the theaters...


    1. well, wait for Katie's man candy review...the nerds have a different idea of what is good sometimes ;)

  6. Yeah, this looked like it was going to end up that way. When I first saw a piece of the trailer - some CG shots - I thought it was a video game :*>

    however, hot men can save things sometimes... ;)

  7. I really enjoyed your review of Battleship, especially your insights into the film's pacing and action sequences. On a different note, I recently read about ultrasonic rhinoplasty, a technique that allows for more precise and less invasive nose reshaping. It's fascinating to see how innovations in surgery, like those performed by experts such as Dr. Shahram, are evolving!