Today is the last day for author RJ Sullivan and his Haunting Obsession book tour! And he is so...
(*kicks RJ with foot* Get off the floor...this is the last stop. Come on suck it up Sullivan!)
...glad to be here and tell us 5 ways to repel a ghost.
Five ways to repel a ghost
RJ: [sitting at his desk, typing on his laptop] Welcome to the final day of the Haunting Obsession Blog Tour! Today I'd like thank ISmell Sheep for hosting today's entry, and as always, Seventh Star for working their magic to make this possible. It's been an incredible experience and I want to thank everyone involved for making my first blog tour so creative and fun.
So I was asked to write about ways in which someone can repel a ghost, which is a tricky topic, as I'm by no means an expert. I suppose the first thing someone needs to consider---
|book illustrator: Bonnie Wasson|
Maxine: [appears behind RJ, wraps an arm across his chest, crouches forward, and whispers in his ear.] Hi, sweetie, whatcha'working on?
RJ: Yikes!! [nearly falls out of chair] I wish you'd quit doing that.
Maxine: Of course you do, sweetie. Keep working on your delivery, I still don't quite believe it.
RJ: [collects himself] Never mind that. What can I do for you?
Maxine: I just wanted to know what you were working on.
RJ: I wasn’t writing about you, if that's what you mean---
Maxine: Oh, poo, you're no fun.
RJ: ---but I was asked to write about ways to repel a ghost if you're being haunted. I was just thinking I should call an expert, but I'm not sure who.
Maxine: Uh, hello, you just reached an expert.
RJ: What are you talking about?
Maxine: Well, I am a ghost, right? I can just tell you what repels me.
RJ: Well, that might be helpful. So tell me, Maxine Marie, as the ghost of a classic Hollywood actress, what repels you when you're on the .... um... haunt?
Maxine: Well, I don't know about other ghosts, but I can think of one thing that repels me immediately!
RJ: Okay, shoot.
RJ: Mice? Hmmm, interesting. You mean, mice have some sort of natural ghost repelling quality to them that---
Maxine: --No, I mean they're just so....so icky! Ooh![shivers] Just thinking of those gross little feet running past my ankles makes me want to scream! I'd never haunt a house if it had mice.
RJ: Yes, but I think what they're really looking for is---
Maxine: And number two would definitely be people who don't know how to dress themselves.
RJ: Wait, I don't think you get the ---
Maxine: You ever see how the shoppers dress at Wal Mart?
RJ: What's that to do with---
Maxine: ---You ever heard of a ghost haunting a Wal Mart?
RJ: Well, no, now that you mention it, but, wait, that's not a nice thing to say!
Maxine: You didn't let me finish! And you never heard of a ghost haunting a red carpet event, either!
RJ: Well, I couldn't say, but---
|book illustrator: Bonnie Wasson|
Maxine: ---What, you think I don't want to keep up on the Hollywood gossip? But it never fails! There I am, haunting the open bar,listening to the movie stars trash talking each other, maybe hoping to maybe scare up a glass of champagne if the bartender isn't paying attention. Then Jennifer Lopez walks by and I'm so out of there.
RJ: But I think what the bloggers wanted was---
Maxine: Oh, I just thought of another one! Want to hear it?
RJ: [Resigned] Can I possibly stop you?
Maxine: Fusion jazz.
RJ: Wait, what? I don't understand!
Maxine: I know, that's what I'm saying! I mean, what is it? Where's the beat? What's going on?I don't get that stuff at all! After 30 seconds, I've just gotta get out of here.
RJ: Look, Maxine, I think you miss the point. It's not what repels you, personally, but what would repel any ghost.
Maxine: Well, then you'll like this one.
RJ: Great, what is it?
Maxine: Tacky wall colors.
RJ: Wall color? What? No, that's not---
Maxine: Have you seen some houses? What goes through some people's minds? When is bright red a calming color? Who paints their walls neon purple? And peach? Really? Peach?
RJ: But that's---
Maxine: ---don't give me personal! No self-respecting ghost would be caught dead haunting a home with bright red walls.
RJ: Okay, I see how it is. [Turns to laptop, starts typing]
Maxine: Now what is that, four or five? [RJ continues typing]
Did you say you needed five? RJ? [RJ continues typing]
Hey, RJ, I'm talking to you. [RJ continues typing]
Oh, I see how you are. You got what you wanted from me and now I'm dismissed. Well it just so happens I have more important things to do, too! So I will see you later, Mister! [Maxine vanishes]
[RJ reviews what he typed.]
Five ways to repel a ghost.
2. Demonstrate poor fashion taste
3. Play Fusion Jazz
4. Tacky wall color
5. Ignore her until she gives up and goes away
Thank you RJ *hands him a sheep pillow* now you can go to sleep.
“She wants to be loved by you…alone!”
Daryl Beasley collects all things Maxine Marie, whose famous curves and fast lifestyle made her a Hollywood icon for decades after her tragic death. Daryl’s girlfriend, Loretta Stevens, knew about his geeky lifestyle when they started dating, but she loves him, quirks and all.
Then one day Daryl chooses to buy a particularly tacky piece of memorabilia instead of Loretta’s birthday present. Daryl ends up in the doghouse, not only with Loretta, but with Maxine Marie herself. The legendary blonde returns from the dead to give Daryl a piece of her mind—and a haunting obsession he’ll never forge
R. J. Sullivan resides with his family in Heartland Crossing, Indiana. His first novel, Haunting Blue, is an edgy paranormal thriller about punk girl loner Fiona "Blue" Shaefer and her boyfriend Chip Farren. R.J. is hard at work on the next chapter in Fiona's story, Virtual Blue, coming soon from Seventh Star Press. R.J. is a member of the Indiana Horror Writers. Learn all about R.J. at www.rjsullivanfiction.com
Seventh Star Press is a small press publisher located in Lexington, KY. SSP specializes in speculative fiction (fantasy, science fiction, and horror). The company was established in October of 2008.
a Rafflecopter giveaway
Seventh Star Press is offering one soft cover and two ecopies of Haunting Obsession.
1. talk to the raffle dude
2. tell me what famous ghost would you want to haunt you?
*double entry for followers