Can we talk?
Yeah, alright... I'm one of the richest people in the country, probably on the planet. And yet I can't afford to go see a psychiatrist about what's bothering me. (And a priest would be an even bigger problem.) It's not a matter of money. After four thousand years of accumulating wealth, the guys aren't worried about paying for it... No, it's more a matter of finding one who won't lock me up in the laughing academy the moment I tell them my father's name. They won't like my husbands either.
So, how does one find decent psychotherapy for a situation like this? Write a book. Or in my case... four. The guys suggested it, actually, they bullied and guilted me into it. And I just can't say no to them. Though truthfully, they got a lot more than they bargained for and then got really mad at me for telling the truth. It's so unfair.
Now... I could beat around the bush, but I'm just going to come right out and admit it. They say confession is good for the soul. Though after what I'm about to tell you many would probably argue that I don't have one.
I'm the daughter of Lucifer. (Whew... I have such a hard time saying that out loud.)
Yes, the Lucifer, Prince of Darkness, Father of Lies, Beelzebub, Abaddon, the Klingons call him Fek'lhr. It's really more of an embarrassment factor than anything else. I mean, I know everyone is embarrassed by their parents at one point or another, but I think I have a right to be at the head of the line for this one. Yes, he's an Angel (sorry guys... Seraphim. The Riders get so mortified when I call them Angels.) and that's actually kind of cool. My mother was a mortal though. So that makes me half angel or half devil depending on how you want to look at it. Either way I'm not human, but I suspected that a long time ago.
Lucifer just happens to be the most notorious bad guy in history. Or he was... he's dead now, so you don't have to worry quite as much. He's blamed for everything from floods and famine to being the one who led your husband astray and goaded you into taking that handful of gummy bears from the penny candy store when you were five. But soooo much of the hype around him is exactly that, hype. It's total crap and he made up most of it himself so he wouldn't have to work as hard. I'm not saying he wasn't an evil bastard. He held me hostage for several months and tortured me while I was pregnant with his grandchild. Who does that?? Oh, right... The Devil... my dad. (Wraps mental duct tape around head.) And if you're thinking 'Eek, she's the antichrist, burn her, burn her!' you had better get a really big bonfire going because I wasn't his only child. He told me (part of the torture part) that he had somewhere around two hundred and fifty daughters at least. (Yeah, only daughters. Male Seraphim can only sire female children and female Seraphim give birth to male children. Odd little piece of trivia there.)
I always wanted a big family. The thing is, I didn't find out what or shall I say who I was until I was twenty eight. For all I know there are ladies out there walking around right now who could be my sisters and never realize their/our father is The Prince of Darkness. You always thought your great aunt Betty seemed a bit... evil? Well, maybe there's a good reason for that.
But I'm not evil. Or at least I've tried my whole life not to be. Sometimes I think it doesn't help that I live with The Riders of the Apocalypse. (Yeah, they're real too... surprise!) That's my other big issue. Because not only do I live with them... I'm married to them. Yeah, all four of them. (Hands you the mental duct tape so you can wrap it around your head. It helps... really.)
It has its benefits. I mean, not only are they absolutely gorgeous, sweet, and love me like no one else ever has, but they're brilliant too. The four of them combined have more doctorates than the entire staff at most university's. After a few thousand years just hanging around screwing with the mortals they got bored, so they started studying and picked up a few dozen degrees... each. They're really good about not talking down to me, but sometimes it's hard living with people who know literally everything. Fabian (the Seraphim of Famine) actually has a doctorate in psychology, but I can't exactly talk to him when he's often the problem?
I have to admit I have a little trouble keeping up with the logistics of having four husbands. As you can imagine, we have a rotation. It's a bit Mormon that way but in reverse. From sundown to sundown I belong to each man in succession. (Actually it's more like they belong to me.) Sometimes we sleep in their rooms, sometimes they come to mine, or we go out. When you have horses that can literally run anywhere on the planet in the space of several minutes, finding fun things to do isn't an issue. Ren (the Seraphim of War) took me to our house in Valencia last night. It's a gorgeous villa overlooking the coast. There's a private beach and we swam and... um... did other things in the water. Tonight I'm with Pete. (the Seraphim of Plague) I don't know if he has anything special planned but I'm sure he'll tell me. He's extremely organized. You have to be when you can create a plague of smallpox by just sneezing wrong.
But I digress. It's the little things like going out to dinner somewhere, such as in New York City, that tend to stress my mental super glue. Just imagine you're sitting at the bar waiting for them to call your table and another couple is standing nearby. I have a tendency to strike up conversations with, well, everyone. I love hearing people's stories. But when they get around to asking what me or my husband does for a living I have a damn hard time controlling the giggling fit that threatens to drown me every time. "Oh, him? He's the Angel of Death."
It's not like the Riders ever have a problem with it, they've been running around the world incognito for several millennia now and can whip up a cover story in a heartbeat. They can also speak every language out there so they tend to blend in wherever they go. Except for the part about being drop dead gorgeous and gazillionaires. They do attract a lot of attention that way. Like I said, these aren't topics I can bring up with any old sort of doctor, it tends to get me in trouble. It's not like the Riders can't bust me out of any institution someone tries to lock me up in, but I've been through that already... I don't suggest trying it.
So, that's what I'm dealing with... How's your day going?
If you want to hear the whole story check out the books. The Gospels of Cal'eia (That's the series.) The Riders totally cringed when I named them that. They really didn't want any connection with the bible but the fact there are four of them and four books was just too delicious a coincidence to pass up. The Book of Dean, The Book of Fabian, and The Book of Pete are all available on Amazon and CreateSpace. The Book of Ren will be out on June 21st, 2015.
The Book of Dean (The Gospels of Cal'eia 1)
Sarah is terrified to stay in any one place for too long, lest they find her, and force her to use her special abilities to hurt, to maim, to kill. Exhausted, and at the end of her rope, she takes refuge from a storm upon an enormous estate in the middle of the North Carolina country side. Due to a freak accident she is forced to remain with the four unusual men who live there, putting herself and them at great risk. Will they discover her secret powers and turn her in to the authorities, or will she discover their secrets first, and realize that what she's found is worse than what she's been running from?
The Book of Fabian (The Gospels of Cal'eia 2)
After revealing to The Riders that she is the "Heart" their ancient prophesy has foretold of, Cali is forced to explain her dark past to the man she loves, the fabled Angel of Death. Jealousy, suspicion, and betrayal drive The Riders apart. A trip home to New York becomes devastating, when the nature of her true family is revealed, and an old enemy reappears.
Will Dean still love her knowing who she is, what she's done, and how many deaths she is responsible for? The prophesy says she's come to save them, to show them the way home. But how can she? Will her powers be enough to save them from damnation, can she even save herself? herself?
Will Dean still love her knowing who she is, what she's done, and how many deaths she is responsible for? The prophesy says she's come to save them, to show them the way home. But how can she? Will her powers be enough to save them from damnation, can she even save herself? herself?
The Book of Pete (The Gospels of Cal'eia 3)
They'd jokingly called him the Devil when he'd held her prisoner in a secret government program for people with special abilities. Dean called him Luce, as in short for Lucifer. It's been six months since she escaped and now her worst nightmares have come true. She's running scared, the brotherhood is shattered, her friends and family are suffering, and it's all her fault. Lines are being drawn. Will she be able to live with herself if she makes the wrong choice?
About the author:
Weren't you paying attention? I'm the daughter of Lucifer and married to the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse. I grew up on Long Island. (No, I don't have the typical accent but I do know the lyrics to most Billy Joel songs.) And now I live on this clandestine farm in the middle of North Carolina somewhere. Calandra Usher is not my real name... but it's the one I like best, and it means the guys can still call me Cali.
You can even email me, or any of the guys at
HomeOfTheRiders@gmail.com One of us will answer you but I can't say who, we draw straws.
GIVEAWAY
all four books in The Gospels of Cal'eia
You'll have to wait till June 21, 2015 to get the last one: The Book of Ren.
Omg! Tell Her About It AND Only the Good Die Young AND Piano Man,,, Thanks for the giveaway!
ReplyDeleteOnly the good die young. Thanks for the chance to win.
ReplyDeleteThis sure sounds like a great series, thanks for the heads up! Adding it to my wishlist :)
ReplyDeleteWhen Freya and I are going to the LoveLetter Convention in Berlin, Germany, for two years now we ended up with only one CD in the car: Greatest hits of Billy Joel. So listening to that one for hours gives you a few favourites, by the first one is: We didn't start the Fire (don't really know if that is the title, but that is the only part I can sing along with).
We didn't start the fire has been my favourite Billy Joel for so long I can't remember the first time I heard it :D
ReplyDeleteShe's Got A Way. The hubs plays it for me every so often ;)
ReplyDeleteBallad of Billy the Kid, downeaster alexa, we didn't start the fire, piano man... I could go on. Sounds like a great series cant wait to read it.
ReplyDeleteWe Didn't Stop The Fire & Piano Man. I love the excerpt. This series is going on my TRL. Thanks for the chance.
ReplyDeleteCarol L
Lucky4750 (at) aol (dot) com
Ooops, please enter me only if they are print books. Thanks.
DeleteCarol L
Ooops, please enter me only if they are print books. Thanks.
DeleteCarol L
not really
ReplyDelete