GtPGKogPYT4p61R1biicqBXsUzo" /> Google+ The Dark Side of Writing: A.M.S. (Author Melt-down Syndrome) | I Smell Sheep

Sunday, June 1, 2014

The Dark Side of Writing: A.M.S. (Author Melt-down Syndrome)

There is a dark side to writing. Most authors suffer in silence in front of their computer screens.
I am talking about A.M.S. (Author Melt-Down Syndrome)

You are not alone and there is help.

Signs you or someone you love might be having a melt-down

Crying – this is the number one symptom of author melt-down. It usually happens in front of their computer, but can happen anywhere at any time. Next time you are at the grocery store and see someone bawling in the bakery section while holding a 12 count of cupcakes, pat them on the back and sing Soft Kitty to them

Head banging – this also happens most often in the privacy of their home, but if you see someone doing this in public don’t make eye contact.

Eye twitch – can last for days or until enough chocolate or alcohol has been consumed.

Fits of hysterical laughter – this is usually happens when crying hasn’t helped. If you see an author doing this in public RUN!

Constantly online – this is a form of avoidance. They foolishly hope the problem will magically go away, but it won’t. Tell them how much you love their writing and send them funny memes or cute animal pictures.

Melt-down Scale
1 (need a hug) – 10 (need bail)

Author melt-down kit
1. Chocolate
2. Mythical beast to cuddle
3. A mirror with the words "I'm an author, and people like me" on it.
4. Tissue
5. Paper bag (for hyperventilation)
6. Coffee
7. ID card with emergency numbers/info in case you are found wandering the streets in a daze
8. Pain reliever
9. Small bottle of whisky*
10. Stress relieving items
11. Warning label
12. Post-its
13. Chill pills
14. Disguise (in case you have a meltdown in public)
15. Tiara (because you are a freaking princess!)
16. Magic wand (worth a shot)

17. Freshening up items
*empty bottle


  1. lol Chocolate makes everything better.

  2. You're good enough, you're smart enough, and, gosh darn it, people like me.

  3. I actually own a magic wand. Just in case....
    LOVED this post!

    1. thanks! I made three of these kits to giveaway at conventions :)

  4. Not lying, I had an eye twitch last week that lasted three days. Aaaand now I am meandering online instead of finishing my that would put me at a three?

    GREAT post!!!

  5. YES!!! All of this is sooooo true. I need to make me a meltdown kit... :D

    1. be sure to make a travel size one in case it happens in your car.

  6. I've experienced all of the above, most often they occur while playing a text based RPG and my character died. :D

    1. There should be one for gamers! Maybe add a nerf hammer to pound the computer with.

  7. Totally in meltdown mode... Deadlines... uhhh lol

  8. Lol great post Sharon! And great care package :)

  9. Snigger and snoring and laughing out-loud. Thank you for this wonderful post!

  10. Oh my GOSHERS. I am stunned with my absolute need to have this kit!

    1. lol, you did enter the Social Bloggers blog hop that is on the site today? I made three of them and will give the other two away eventually :)