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Wednesday, May 8, 2013

Guest Post: Alex Hughes SHARP Blog Tour + Giveaway


This is the last stop on Alex's Sharp blog tour! And we have asked her to give us advice on how to gather and use werewolf hair. Pay attention because apparently you can make a lot of money!



What to Do with a Wolf’s Shedding Hair

Alex Hughes
I have been asked the very serious and very important question as to what you can do with a wolf’s shedding hair. I assume that said wolf is a werewolf, and thus the hair is particularly valuable, and thus well worth the effort to collect and use said hair. 

I suppose the traditional answer is to use it in the style of Shakespeare’s witches, with a bubbling cauldron and a moonlight night, with much planning and cackling to be had by all. Or to employ it in a potion in the style of Billy Crystal’s Old Man character in the Princess Bride—werewolf hair has to be useful for something, he would say.

But me personally, I’m picturing a large hank of the stuff. With sufficient bribes to zoo workers and wildlife refuge personnel, you can also assemble a rather notable collection of regular wolf hair to play with as well for supplementary purposes.

I’d say you sit down at the spinning wheel, being careful with your hands so as to avoid a Sleeping Beauty incident, you can spin together the wolf and werewolf hair into a quite serviceable yarn. If you’re feeling lazy, you might even get an electric spinning wheel. In either case, be sure to wear thick (and clean) gloves in a nonporous fabric so that your scent will not transfer to the fur.

Next step: get out those knitting needles. Depending on the quantity of your thread, you have several options. Long scarf-like pieces to sew onto regular clothing, perhaps. A hat to keep your head warm in the woods. Even a sweater, if your yarn is sufficient enough. Buy and wear a clean butcher’s apron and continue with the gloves theme to maintain scent separation.

Choose a day with a full moon scheduled for the night to come. Prepare your supplies in advance. Don a head-to-toe cotton long-johns underlayer and a metal or wood armour overlayer. Unstained wood is preferred, of course, but the light application of wolf musk to the metal will do as a serviceable solution. Then, put on your sweater, hat, and strips of wolf-yarn fabric over that.

Ideally, you will have held back a few pinches of the original werewolf hair in a sealed plastic bag, and when your sweater is complete, rub this original hair all over the rest of your clothing and gear as much as possible.

Then, find a careful spot to lie in wait. Deer traps will work, occasionally, but the preferred method is to find a tree-and-bush area behind which you cannot be seen but through whose leaves you can see easily. Settle down and wait patiently.

In greater than half of all reported cases, werewolves will be attracted to the scent even through large quantities of forest. You will hear the howls before they approach. Be of good courage; rarely, if ever, are hunters killed by werewolves, and your mission is for the greater goals of mankind.

When the werewolf individual or werewolf pack approaches, take your opportunity. Aim carefully… and shoot. Shoot repeatedly; the light from the camera will disorient them, and these pictures are likely to be your best and most important of the evening. These are worth upwards of three thousand dollars a shot to major magazines and must be taken carefully.

Whatever you do, do not move. Running indicates you are prey, and your smell-screen should be sufficient to keep you from being attacked. Even if it does not, your armor should allow you to fight them off and make them move onto better prey. But fear not, in better than 30% of cases, the wolf pack will settle around the cameraman and have a conversation in Wolfish, trying to figure out who he or she is within the pack. If you record this conversation, it too can be worth several thousand.

Don’t forget to brush the wolves around you if opportunity presents itself. They, like most dogs, find the process pleasurable, and you will need the wolf hair from the brush to equip you for your next run.

Sell the sweater you have been wearing when you get home on eBay; werewolf sweaters are currently fashionable among the vampire groups, and they have been known to pay up to two hundred dollars for one.

This is the correct method for dealing with shedded werewolf hair.


HISTORY HAS A WAY OF REPEATING ITSELF, EVEN FOR TELEPATHS.…

As a Level Eight telepath, I am the best police interrogator in the department. But I’m not a cop—I never will be—and my only friend on the force, Homicide Detective Isabella Cherabino, is avoiding me because of a telepathic link I created by accident.

And I might not even be an interrogator for much longer. Our boss says unless I pull out a miracle, I’ll be gone before Christmas. I need this job, damn it. It’s the only thing keeping me sane.

Parts for illegal Tech—the same parts used to bring the world to its knees in the Tech Wars sixty years ago—are being hijacked all over the city. Plus Cherbino's longtime nemesis, a cop killer, has resurfaced with a vengeance. If I can stay alive long enough, I just might be able to prove my worth, once and for all...


Excerpt
Guilt – an excerpt from Sharp, Mindspace Investigations Book #2
By Alex Hughes


You okay? came Cherabino’s thought again, frustrated. Tap, tap, her mind against mine, tap, tap, as if she could somehow feel my distress and reacted with impatience instead of care. Tap, tap, along the long yellow line back to the real world.

I followed that line, hand over hand, inch by painful blind inch, laboriously surfacing, one overwhelming moment at a time. She kept tapping. She kept pushing. It was the only thing that got me all the way there.

I woke to the clear view of the floor and my knees, twelve inches from the bloodstain, my nose overcome with bad smells. I hadn’t thrown up. I could say that much. And—mind shaking, aching, shivering in reaction pain, I realized I was back to mind-deaf. My head rang with pain, pain—but no emotion. I was deaf and blind again.

“You okay?” Cherabino asked.

I shook my head—and immediately thought better of it; the movement made the world spin.

My eyes caught the victim’s foot, her bare foot on the tile, and I saw a small tattoo, a circle of wavy lines, neurons, encircling a stylized S and Q. I sat down hard, on the tile. I knew that tattoo.

I knew that tattoo, and in combination with it the female mind, or who she’d once been. Her name hadn’t been Hamilton when I’d known her, but she hadn’t been married. Emily, her name had been. Even through the overwhelming pain in my head, I couldn’t let go of the thought. Emily had been one of my best advanced students, years ago. Before it all fell apart. Before her mind twisted into a knot—into something not an Abled mind anymore. Before I’d done the unthinkable.

“Are you okay?” Cherabino repeated.

I fought the guilt and the disorientation of seeing Emily again, seeing her dead. I fought the exposure sickness, the injury. I sat on them, hard, and built a barrier between us with bleeding fingers. Cherabino couldn’t know. She knew too many of my failures as it was.

One small knee shuffle at a time, I moved back, away from Emily. It wasn’t her fault she smelled of urine, dried blood, and darker things, but it wasn’t mine either.

“Well, did the husband do it?” Freeman asked.

“Are you okay?” Cherabino repeated.

I pulled myself to my feet and fished out my sunglasses over my now-light-sensitive eyes. “Unless the husband’s an ex-SEAL or something,” I said in a rasp, “somebody else did it. And now, unless there’s some kind of emergency, I’ll be in the car.”

Uncaring of reactions, I stumbled out of the devil house, away from the seat of every failure I’d ever had, down the stupid steep stairs, and climbed into the backseat of the cop car. I needed to be horizontal. Now.

About the Author:
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Alex has written since early childhood, and loves great stories in any form including scifi, fantasy, and mystery. Over the years, she has lived in many neighborhoods of the sprawling metro Atlanta area, including Decatur, the neighborhood on which Clean is centered. Her work is dark, complex, action-filled and a little funny. Her Mindspace Investigations series has been called "A fun blend of Chinatown and Blade Runner" by James Knapp, and Publisher's Weekly called her "a writer to watch."

When not writing you can find Alex in the kitchen cooking gourmet Italian food, watching hours of police procedural dramas, and humming to delightfully obscure music.



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18 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. I know! Gotta go find me a werewolf now ;)

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  2. Hmmm...if the werewolf was THE sweater then he could wrap himself around me! Yep, I'd like that :)

    Barrie

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  3. Yes, I would wear a wolf scarf - it would probably be very nice and warm! Very interesting post and excerpt. Thanks for sharing.

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  4. Actually, this kinda creeps me out, mainly because I've seen that people actually do this with the fur of their dogs or cats. THAT IS SO GROSS! I can see the appeal of a werewolf sweater, though. Having a conversation with a bunch of werewolves would make it a lot more valuable. Still...Ew.

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  5. what a great idea for infiltrating a pack of werewolves! You could be like Jane Goodall and research them for posterity --- but hey, you'd made a better living selling the photos. Thanks for an entertaining post!

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  6. Yes, I would - probably nice and warm too.

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  7. I am thinking this would be an excellent way to supplement my income so the book buying budget gods would stop giving me such a hard time. Oh yes I would wear the garments - I am all for infiltrating never know who you will meet. This is a new to me series and I am looking forward to more. Thank you for this very enlightening post.

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  8. Well, for me fur loses a lot of appeal once it is no longer worn by its owner. YMMV.

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  9. I just might if no one died in the collection process and I was not allergic to it.
    debby236 at gmail dot com

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  10. Love this post! A very nice author I know has a friend who has wolves. The author sent me some wolf fur as I am working on a Native American art project. I didn't stop to think that this fur may very well have come from a werewolf.
    Either way I treat it with the utmost respect since I adore wolves. LisaC, no wolf was hurt in the loss of the fur. I promise!
    Hi Deb!!
    Hello, Alex. Your book appeals to me greatly. :-)

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  11. I might wear the scarf, I don't know about the sweater. I can't wear wool, it makes me break out and itch. I love to read the book!
    donna harris

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  12. Love this post! A very nice author I know has a friend who has wolves. The author sent me some wolf fur as I am working on a Native American art project. I didn't stop to think that this fur may very well have come from a werewolf.

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  13. Hi guys! Thanks for having me on the blog, and for the feedback on the post :)
    -Alex

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  14. I don't even have to think about this one! Definitely a Wolf Scarf!! Just because I really don't know what a werewolf's fur feels like. Thank you so much for such an awesome giveaway!

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  15. You are the man dude. This is a total guide.

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